{"id":1772,"date":"2023-09-01T02:20:06","date_gmt":"2023-09-01T02:20:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/leonpsychology.ca\/?p=1772"},"modified":"2026-05-06T12:04:45","modified_gmt":"2026-05-06T12:04:45","slug":"worried-about-jealousy-towards-the-new-baby-a-guide-to-preparing-your-toddler-for-a-new-sibling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/leonpsychology.ca\/en\/worried-about-jealousy-towards-the-new-baby-a-guide-to-preparing-your-toddler-for-a-new-sibling\/","title":{"rendered":"WORRIED ABOUT JEALOUSY TOWARDS THE NEW BABY? A GUIDE TO PREPARING YOUR TODDLER FOR A NEW SIBLING"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Expecting a second (or third, or fourth!) baby? Congrats! Here are a few tips on how to prepare and manage your eldest\u2019s jealousy.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You are excited about the new life growing inside your belly, but also a bit apprehensive. How will my eldest react? Will they play together? Will my oldest feel neglected during the first few months? Will they get jealous?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sibling jealousy is a common concern. Let\u2019s discuss what steps you can take for the transition to be smoother for your oldest child(ren).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before the birth<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

– Communicate the news<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Tell your child about the baby in your tummy. There is no specific time when to do this but take into consideration the child\u2019s age and ability to understand. Typically, a few months in advance when you start showing is a good time. Remind them often that there is a baby coming and share your excitement!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Read<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Read to your child a few books about the arrival of a new sibling so they know what to expect. For example, that mommy will spend a few days at the hospital while grandparents stay over. Since births can be unpredictable you can start reading these books around the time you tell them about the baby in your tummy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Play<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You may want to engage your child in play (with a doll or teddy) so they can practice having a baby. But be clear that a baby will be able to move, cry, and will need to be handled gently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Involve your oldest<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

A few weeks before the birth, bring your oldest along at the store to pick out an outfit or a toy for their new sibling. It can help them feel more excited and feel included in the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the birth<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

–Purchase a toy<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your oldest might be very excited to meet their new sibling. However, they might see the baby getting showered with new gifts. Consider purchasing a small gift to give your oldest in the first few days after the birth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Quality time<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Once the baby is born, make time every day for one-on-one quality with your oldest, this will reduce the likelihood of jealousy. Also make sure to include lots of hugs and physical contact as this is comforting and reassuring to children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Involve your oldest<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If your oldest appears interested, involve them in taking care of the baby. This can include fetching items like diapers and toys or helping at bath time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Do not reprimand harshly<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Allow them to touch the baby. Do not scold or reprimand if they are rough, instead show then how you would like them to be gentle. Your oldest might also want to play with the baby\u2019s toys. Allow them to do this, they will eventually get bored and move back to their own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Creative play<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your oldest might be impatient to play with the baby. Think of some games that require no participation from the baby, like playing peek-a-boo and singing to the baby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Providing opportunities to be a \u2018big boy\u2019 or \u2018big girl\u2019<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes the baby can appear to have a lot of new and fun things (new toys, special chair, etc.) which can make your oldest jealous. Providing opportunities for activities or things that \u2018are not for the baby and only for big boys\/girls\u2019 can create a sense of balance. Your oldest will feel like they have something special too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Behavioural regression<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It is expected that the older child(ren) will experience some level of adjustment <\/strong>to their new sibling. After all, their routine has changed, relatives and parents might be spending less time with them, there might be physical changes in the home and the baby\u2019s cries and needs might be annoying to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Signs of behavioural regression can include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n