5 EMOTIONAL REGULATION STRATEGIES FOR CHILDREN & TEENS

Learn effective emotional regulation strategies for children and teens. Help them navigate their emotions and develop valuable coping skills for life.

5 EMOTIONAL REGULATION STRATEGIES FOR CHILDREN & TEENS

Emotional regulation is an important part of a child’s development. As parents, it’s our responsibility to help our kids learn how to manage their difficult emotions and feelings. Ultimately, we want them to develop self-regulation skills for dealing with difficult emotions on their own. 

In this article, we’ll explore five effective strategies that parents and caregivers can use for teaching emotional regulation skills to children in a healthy and constructive way.

What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotion regulation is the essential ability to recognize, understand, and effectively manage emotional control in a healthy and balanced way, even in the face of challenging situations.

It involves being aware of your emotions, identifying them accurately, and implementing strategies to regulate their intensity and emotional expression. Just like any other skill, emotional self-regulation in children is something that is learned and developed over time.

Why Is Healthy Emotional Regulation In Children Important? 

Children with positive emotion regulation skills are better prepared to cope with life’s inevitable tragedies. When faced with difficult circumstances, they can process their emotions, seek support, and engage in self-care. This resilience helps them bounce back from adversity. 

These children are not immune to experiencing difficult emotions. In fact, the goal is not to eliminate difficult emotions, but to have the tools to manage them constructively.

5 Emotional Regulation Strategies For Children & Teens 

Here are some strategies to aid in the development of emotion regulation in kids and teens. 

  1. Teach kids to identify their feelings (emotional awareness).

The first step in regulation of emotion for children is to help them learn to identify and name their feelings, which is called emotional awareness. Encourage your child to express and name their feelings, creating a safe space for open communication.

This can be done by labeling emotions when they arise, such as saying “you seem frustrated right now” or “you seem excited right now.” This helps them to become more aware of their emotions and understand how they are feeling. Utilize visual aids, storytelling, and books to help children recognize different emotions and validate their experiences.

  1. Try some emotional regulation activities for kids. 

Another important strategy is to help kids learn to manage their emotions in a healthy way. This can be done by encouraging them to talk about how they are feeling and helping them find constructive ways to express their emotions.

For example, if they are feeling angry, they can take deep breaths, go for a walk, or draw a picture of their feelings.

  1. Teach mindfulness strategies. 

Teach your child simple mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing, finger breathing, or body scans that help them understand the connection between emotions and physical sensations. Explain that they can better manage their emotions by learning to be present in the moment.

Practice deep breathing exercises together when they are calm. Then try using it during stressful situations. For school aged children, you can introduce relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery.

  1. Demonstrate coping strategies for managing strong emotions.

It’s also important to help children learn to manage strong emotions when they experience them. Coping strategies are activities that can help calm them down.

Activities that engage their senses can be particularly calming, such as taking a shower or bath (touch), listening to music (hearing), and swinging or dancing (proprioception).

  1. Model how to regulate emotions as a parent. 

Parent modeling is another crucial part of emotion regulation. Children learn by observing. Display healthy emotional regulation in your own behavior, showing them how to handle stress, frustration, or disappointment calmly.

You can also promote empathy by modeling empathic behaviors and encouraging your child to consider others’ perspectives and emotions. Engage in activities such as role-playing or storytelling to foster understanding. Help them grasp the impact of their actions on others’ well-being.

When parents model healthy ways of expressing emotions, such as talking through their feelings, children are more likely to learn how to do the same.

Tips for Helping Children With Poor Emotional Regulation

Create a calming environment

Designate a quiet, peaceful space where your child can retreat when overwhelmed. Fill it with comforting items like soft blankets, sensory toys, or calming music. This safe space allows them to self-regulate and find solace during intense emotions.

Practice emotional coaching

When your child experiences strong emotions, validate their feelings and help them understand the underlying reasons. Use phrases like “I see you’re feeling upset. Can you tell me what happened?” This approach helps them develop emotional intelligence and promotes self-reflection.

Establish clear expectations

Set clear boundaries and expectations regarding appropriate behavior. Clearly communicate the consequences of their actions while emphasizing the importance of emotional self-control. Consistency and follow-through are key to helping children understand the importance of emotional regulation.

Encourage physical activity

Engage your child in physical activities to help release pent-up emotions. Exercise, sports, or even a simple walk can provide a healthy outlet for their energy and emotions. Physical activity also stimulates the release of endorphins, which can improve their mood.

Use visual aids

Visual aids such as emotion charts, feeling faces, or emotion thermometers can assist your child in identifying and expressing their emotions. These tools help them develop a vocabulary for their feelings and enhance their emotional awareness.

​​Recognizing When to Seek Help: Child Psychotherapy Services

If your child continues to struggle with emotional regulation, consider seeking professional support from a therapist or psychologist experienced in working with children. Dr. Leon is an experienced clinician who is passionate about helping children and adolescents navigate emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties as well as supporting parents in providing optimal parenting when faced with these challenges.

Explore Dr. Leon’s Child Psychotherapy services today to help your child gain the skills they need to regulate their emotions.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What are some effective strategies for teaching emotional regulation to children and teens?

One effective strategy is teaching deep breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques to help children and teens calm their minds and bodies during moments of heightened emotion. Another strategy is encouraging them to engage in activities that promote self-reflection, such as journaling or engaging in creative outlets like art or music. 

What are the potential benefits of practicing emotional regulation strategies in childhood and adolescence?

Practicing emotional regulation strategies in childhood and adolescence can have numerous benefits. It helps children and teens develop resilience. Emotional regulation skills can also lead to better decision-making, reduced impulsivity, and improved academic performance. These skills provide a foundation for healthier emotional well-being and mental health throughout their lives.

How can emotional regulation skills learned in childhood impact well-being in adulthood?

Emotional regulation skills learned in childhood and adolescence play a crucial role in shaping an individual’s overall well-being and success in adulthood. They contribute to better mental health outcomes and can reduce the risk of developing anxiety, depression, and other emotional disorders.

While some kids like and use breating and mindful strategies, others don’t. Try these alternative calming activities for kids:

  • Doodling /coloring on skin with erasable markers
  • Ripping paper, cutting cardboard boxes
  • Doing headstands, jumping jacks, push-ups
  • Using a swing, turning in circles
  • Making a blanket tent, weighted blanket, or special place in a closet

Teaching emotional regulation strategies to kids is vital as it equips them with tools to manage and express their feelings constructively, fostering healthier relationships and improved self-control. It enables children to navigate challenging situations with resilience, reducing the likelihood of impulsive behavior and promoting better decision-making skills. By learning how to regulate emotions, kids can develop greater empathy, communication skills, and a stronger sense of overall well-being as they grow into adulthood.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

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HOW TO TEACH SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL LEARNING THROUGH READING

Learn to boost your child’s social and emotional development through reading. Equip your child with essential skills for a brighter future. 

HOW TO TEACH SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL LEARNING THROUGH READING

You might initially think reading books is good for language development—and you’d be right! Reading books can help a child learn vocabulary they don’t frequently encounter, and it can help them learn syntax and grammar. 

But reading books with your children means so much more than that. 

It’s also important to promote positive behaviours and cognitive and social development—especially when incorporating Social Emotional Learning (SEL) principles into reading activities. 

In this article, I’ll explore how parents can teach social-emotional skills through reading and how you, as a parent, can help support language, cognitive, social, and emotional intelligence using books as early as infancy.

Benefits Of Teaching Social-Emotional Learning Through Reading 

The body of research supporting social-emotional learning continues to grow. Combining the power of storytelling with social-emotional skills concepts helps parents:

Children 0 to 18 Months Old

Picture books are a great way to introduce babies and toddlers to the world. Start by using picture books to point at objects and name them. You can also point out colors and shapes. Eventually, you can move on to pointing out actions (e.g., the boy is running/eating/ crying). 

At this age, your child may be unable to sit through a whole story (that’s okay). So each time you pick up a book, focus on a different aspect of the story. Repetition is good, so a few books are sufficient. 

When reading whole stories, choose books that are short and rhyme. Rhyming is very important for early language development.

Children 18 Months To 3 Years Old

As your child’s language, cognitive, and motor skills develop, start asking your child to point to objects on the page (e.g., Where is the duck? Show me the duck!). 

Start with obvious elements of the book and work towards elements that might be less noticeable or harder to find. This will teach your child to scan a page for information

Also, point out how that same thing might look different on another page because it’s drawn from a different angle (e.g., here is the girl eating, here is the same girl taking a bath).

Children 3 To 6 Years Old

When your child starts speaking in sentences, ask them questions about the story before turning to the next page (e.g., what happens next?). 

You will notice that even with books you may have read together many times, they might not have yet been able to retain the storyline or understand action-reaction. 

Then you can start asking questions that work on perspective taking: how is the boy feeling (point to sad face), why does the boy look sad?

Children In Elementary School

At first, shared reading (where the child reads one page, and the parent reads the other page) can help a new reader to continue enjoying books. Pre-reading activities can also support reading comprehension. 

Reviewing pictures and subheadings along with new vocabulary and concepts before beginning to read can help your child link new information with material that was learned previously. 

Asking questions about the material is also important; factual questions and questions requiring your child to make inferences and predictions are best.

Children In High School

At this point, shared reading is no longer an option, but you can continue supporting reading by having books available in the home. Books are expensive, and not everyone has the space to store large quantities of books. 

I suggest leveraging your public library as a resource. Every few weeks, visit your library and encourage your teen to pick a book. 

Maybe your teen prefers comic books, and those are fine too. The joy of reading is something built over time.

Don’t Forget Parent Modeling!

If you switch on the TV (or get on your phone) as soon as supper is done and don’t turn it off until you go to bed, it’s hard to expect your child not to do the same. 

Model for your child by picking up a book in the evening and reading a few pages. 

Reading before sleep can help you feel sleepy and reduces the negative effects of blue light emitted from electronic devices, which can harm your sleep cycle. If reading regularly is new for you, start small (5 mins) and work your way up.

Get Help: Parent Consultation Services

Whether you require assistance selecting appropriate books, implementing effective strategies, or assessing your child’s progress, Dr. Leon’s parent consultation services can provide valuable insights and resources to enhance your SEL journey. 

With a post-session summary of recommendations and access to additional resources, you’ll have the support you need to navigate the complexities of teaching SEL through reading. 

For further reading: 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Why is social-emotional learning important for children’s development?

Social-emotional learning is crucial for children’s development as it helps them acquire and apply essential skills like self-awareness, empathy, communication, and emotional regulation. These skills contribute to their overall well-being, academic success, and positive relationships with others.

How can reading books help teach social-emotional skills?

Reading books is an effective way to teach social-emotional skills because stories provide a platform for children to explore different emotions, perspectives, and social situations. Through reading, children can empathize with characters and learn valuable lessons about empathy, resilience, and problem-solving.

What are some recommended books that promote social-emotional learning?

There are numerous books that promote social-emotional learning. Some popular examples include:

Teaching social-emotional learning (SEL) through reading involves selecting books that feature diverse characters and themes, enabling children to empathize and understand various emotions, perspectives, and experiences. Engage children in discussions about the characters’ feelings and behaviors, connecting these insights to their own emotions and social interactions, fostering empathy and self-awareness. Use stories as a platform to explore SEL competencies like self-regulation, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making, encouraging reflection and guiding children in applying these lessons to their own lives.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

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