5 EMOTIONAL REGULATION STRATEGIES FOR CHILDREN & TEENS

Learn effective emotional regulation strategies for children and teens. Help them navigate their emotions and develop valuable coping skills for life.

5 EMOTIONAL REGULATION STRATEGIES FOR CHILDREN & TEENS

Emotional regulation is an important part of a child’s development. As parents, it’s our responsibility to help our kids learn how to manage their difficult emotions and feelings. Ultimately, we want them to develop self-regulation skills for dealing with difficult emotions on their own. 

In this article, we’ll explore five effective strategies that parents and caregivers can use for teaching emotional regulation skills to children in a healthy and constructive way.

What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotion regulation is the essential ability to recognize, understand, and effectively manage emotional control in a healthy and balanced way, even in the face of challenging situations.

It involves being aware of your emotions, identifying them accurately, and implementing strategies to regulate their intensity and emotional expression. Just like any other skill, emotional self-regulation in children is something that is learned and developed over time.

Why Is Healthy Emotional Regulation In Children Important? 

Children with positive emotion regulation skills are better prepared to cope with life’s inevitable tragedies. When faced with difficult circumstances, they can process their emotions, seek support, and engage in self-care. This resilience helps them bounce back from adversity. 

These children are not immune to experiencing difficult emotions. In fact, the goal is not to eliminate difficult emotions, but to have the tools to manage them constructively.

5 Emotional Regulation Strategies For Children & Teens 

Here are some strategies to aid in the development of emotion regulation in kids and teens. 

  1. Teach kids to identify their feelings (emotional awareness).

The first step in regulation of emotion for children is to help them learn to identify and name their feelings, which is called emotional awareness. Encourage your child to express and name their feelings, creating a safe space for open communication.

This can be done by labeling emotions when they arise, such as saying “you seem frustrated right now” or “you seem excited right now.” This helps them to become more aware of their emotions and understand how they are feeling. Utilize visual aids, storytelling, and books to help children recognize different emotions and validate their experiences.

  1. Try some emotional regulation activities for kids. 

Another important strategy is to help kids learn to manage their emotions in a healthy way. This can be done by encouraging them to talk about how they are feeling and helping them find constructive ways to express their emotions.

For example, if they are feeling angry, they can take deep breaths, go for a walk, or draw a picture of their feelings.

  1. Teach mindfulness strategies. 

Teach your child simple mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing, finger breathing, or body scans that help them understand the connection between emotions and physical sensations. Explain that they can better manage their emotions by learning to be present in the moment.

Practice deep breathing exercises together when they are calm. Then try using it during stressful situations. For school aged children, you can introduce relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery.

  1. Demonstrate coping strategies for managing strong emotions.

It’s also important to help children learn to manage strong emotions when they experience them. Coping strategies are activities that can help calm them down.

Activities that engage their senses can be particularly calming, such as taking a shower or bath (touch), listening to music (hearing), and swinging or dancing (proprioception).

  1. Model how to regulate emotions as a parent. 

Parent modeling is another crucial part of emotion regulation. Children learn by observing. Display healthy emotional regulation in your own behavior, showing them how to handle stress, frustration, or disappointment calmly.

You can also promote empathy by modeling empathic behaviors and encouraging your child to consider others’ perspectives and emotions. Engage in activities such as role-playing or storytelling to foster understanding. Help them grasp the impact of their actions on others’ well-being.

When parents model healthy ways of expressing emotions, such as talking through their feelings, children are more likely to learn how to do the same.

Tips for Helping Children With Poor Emotional Regulation

Create a calming environment

Designate a quiet, peaceful space where your child can retreat when overwhelmed. Fill it with comforting items like soft blankets, sensory toys, or calming music. This safe space allows them to self-regulate and find solace during intense emotions.

Practice emotional coaching

When your child experiences strong emotions, validate their feelings and help them understand the underlying reasons. Use phrases like “I see you’re feeling upset. Can you tell me what happened?” This approach helps them develop emotional intelligence and promotes self-reflection.

Establish clear expectations

Set clear boundaries and expectations regarding appropriate behavior. Clearly communicate the consequences of their actions while emphasizing the importance of emotional self-control. Consistency and follow-through are key to helping children understand the importance of emotional regulation.

Encourage physical activity

Engage your child in physical activities to help release pent-up emotions. Exercise, sports, or even a simple walk can provide a healthy outlet for their energy and emotions. Physical activity also stimulates the release of endorphins, which can improve their mood.

Use visual aids

Visual aids such as emotion charts, feeling faces, or emotion thermometers can assist your child in identifying and expressing their emotions. These tools help them develop a vocabulary for their feelings and enhance their emotional awareness.

​​Recognizing When to Seek Help: Child Psychotherapy Services

If your child continues to struggle with emotional regulation, consider seeking professional support from a therapist or psychologist experienced in working with children. Dr. Leon is an experienced clinician who is passionate about helping children and adolescents navigate emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties as well as supporting parents in providing optimal parenting when faced with these challenges.

Explore Dr. Leon’s Child Psychotherapy services today to help your child gain the skills they need to regulate their emotions.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What are some effective strategies for teaching emotional regulation to children and teens?

One effective strategy is teaching deep breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques to help children and teens calm their minds and bodies during moments of heightened emotion. Another strategy is encouraging them to engage in activities that promote self-reflection, such as journaling or engaging in creative outlets like art or music. 

What are the potential benefits of practicing emotional regulation strategies in childhood and adolescence?

Practicing emotional regulation strategies in childhood and adolescence can have numerous benefits. It helps children and teens develop resilience. Emotional regulation skills can also lead to better decision-making, reduced impulsivity, and improved academic performance. These skills provide a foundation for healthier emotional well-being and mental health throughout their lives.

How can emotional regulation skills learned in childhood impact well-being in adulthood?

Emotional regulation skills learned in childhood and adolescence play a crucial role in shaping an individual’s overall well-being and success in adulthood. They contribute to better mental health outcomes and can reduce the risk of developing anxiety, depression, and other emotional disorders.

While some kids like and use breating and mindful strategies, others don’t. Try these alternative calming activities for kids:

  • Doodling /coloring on skin with erasable markers
  • Ripping paper, cutting cardboard boxes
  • Doing headstands, jumping jacks, push-ups
  • Using a swing, turning in circles
  • Making a blanket tent, weighted blanket, or special place in a closet

Teaching emotional regulation strategies to kids is vital as it equips them with tools to manage and express their feelings constructively, fostering healthier relationships and improved self-control. It enables children to navigate challenging situations with resilience, reducing the likelihood of impulsive behavior and promoting better decision-making skills. By learning how to regulate emotions, kids can develop greater empathy, communication skills, and a stronger sense of overall well-being as they grow into adulthood.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

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5 SIMPLE STEPS FOR PROMOTING EMPATHY IN CHILDREN

A parent’s guide to cultivating empathy in children by nurturing compassionate connections—here’s what you should know about developing empathy in children. 

5 SIMPLE STEPS FOR PROMOTING EMPATHY IN CHILDREN

You’re here because you find yourself grappling with a question like this:

“My child does not seem to understand when they hurt others’ feelings. How can I help them develop their capacity for empathy?”

It’s not uncommon for children to struggle with empathy at certain stages of development. Your proactive approach to addressing this issue is commendable, so you’re on the right track just by reading this article. Empathy is a complex ability that develops over time, and I’m here to provide you with guidance and practical strategies to support your child’s journey toward empathy.

Here’s what parents need to know about developing empathy in children.

What Is Empathy, And Why Does It Matter?

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It holds immense significance in fostering happiness, meaningful social relationships, and social skills. Parents play a key role by recognizing its value and actively nurturing empathy and empathic responses. 

When Should Children Exhibit Empathy?

There is no specific age at which a child should have empathy (as I’m sure you already know, even adults can struggle with empathy!) Like most skills and abilities, advanced levels of empathy develop throughout childhood and teenage years. In fact, empathic responses are intricately linked to a child’s emotional and cognitive development.

Children will eventually develop what’s called theory of mind—a crucial cognitive milestone and building block in the development of empathy. Theory of mind refers to the ability to understand and attribute mental states, such as beliefs, desires, intentions, and emotions, to oneself and others. It involves recognizing that individuals have their own thoughts and perspectives which may differ from one’s own.

Children develop theory of mind gradually over the course of their early childhood years. Different children may develop theory of mind at different rates, and individual differences can occur.

Factors such as cultural influences, language development, and social experiences can also impact the progression of theory of mind. With that in mind, here are some general milestones most parents can expect to see as their children develop theory of mind and gain empathy.

Stage 1: Infancy (0-12 months)

During this stage, infants start developing awareness of their own mental states and begin to differentiate between self and others. They may display basic forms of empathy, such as imitating facial expressions.

Stage 2: Toddlerhood (1-3 years)

Children then begin to recognize that others have different perspectives and knowledge. They may engage in “joint attention” by following someone’s gaze or pointing to share an object of interest. They also start using basic mental state language, like saying “I know” or “I don’t know.”

Stage 3: Preschool Age (3-5 years)

Children become more skilled at understanding others’ thoughts and feelings. They can engage in pretend play, taking on different roles and understanding that characters in stories have different perspectives. They also develop a basic understanding of false beliefs, recognizing that someone can have an incorrect belief about a situation.

Stage 4: School Age (5-7 years)

At this stage, children’s theory of mind continues to develop further. They become more adept at understanding and predicting others’ behaviors based on their mental states. They understand that people can have hidden thoughts, make inferences about others’ feelings, and become more skilled in perspective-taking.

How Can I Develop My Child’s Cognitive Empathy?

Throughout childhood, two crucial building blocks for empathy are emotional awareness and perspective-taking.

Emotional awareness

Emotional awareness refers to the ability to correctly identify one’s own and others’ emotions. Moreover, emotional awareness is crucial for emotional regulation. You can promote emotional awareness in children (and in yourself!) by frequently using more varied emotion words.

Parents tend to use the same three emotion words when speaking with children: happy, sad, and angry. Try to expand your child’s vocabulary as a role model by using more specific words to describe positive and negative emotions, like:

  • Excited
  • Delighted
  • Surprised
  • Disappointed (one of my favorites)
  • Defeated
  • Frustrated
  • Impatient
  • Bored
  • Lonely

You can use these words to describe your child’s emotions, your own, and the emotions of peers and characters in books and movies.

Although there are many helpful and educational materials dedicated to this subject, nothing can replace parent modeling (teaching by doing).

Perspective-Taking

Perspective-taking refers to the ability to put oneself in somebody else’s shoes and see the situation from their standpoint.

You can promote perspective-taking in your child in several ways.

1- Considering Feelings 

Ask open-ended questions that invite your child to speculate about what others might be feeling or thinking based on language and body language. Encourage them to seek confirmation by engaging in dialogue or actively listening to other’s perspectives.

2- Gift Giving

Children can also learn perspective-taking (and empathy) through gift-giving. Whether for birthdays or the holidays, encourage your child to participate in choosing, buying, preparing, or wrapping gifts for someone else.

Encourage them to think about what another person would like to receive based on their interests/preferences. Discuss with your child how they think someone might feel when they receive a gift they want versus one they did not want.

3- Volunteering

Volunteering can also teach kids about empathy and compassion, as it can help build tolerance (through exposure to diverse individuals) and a greater sense of being connected to one’s community.

Recognizing When to Seek Help: Child Psychotherapy Services

As a parent, you play a vital role in supporting your child’s growth, including how they develop empathy. If you find yourself in need of additional guidance or specialized support, I encourage you to reach out for a consultation with Dr. Leon.

Dr. Leon can help provide the necessary tools and strategies to nurture your child’s social-emotional well-being and ensure they thrive in their relationships and interactions with others. If your child struggles with negative feelings, aggressive behavior, or empathy skills, then Dr. Leon can help. 

Take the first step and schedule a consultation today to give your child the best opportunity for a bright and empathetic future.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What age is appropriate to start teaching empathy to children? 

Empathy development begins in infancy, but it is an ongoing process that continues through childhood and adolescence. While there is no specific age to start teaching empathy, parents can begin introducing age-appropriate concepts and activities as early as toddlerhood. Simple gestures like labeling emotions and encouraging sharing can lay the groundwork for empathy at a young age.

What are some common challenges parents may encounter while trying to develop empathy in their children?

Some common challenges parents may face when fostering empathy in children include resistance or lack of interest and navigating conflicts with peers. 

To overcome these challenges, parents can:

  • Provide consistent guidance and reinforcement
  • Create a safe and empathetic environment at home
  • Encourage open communication
  • Offer alternative perspectives to broaden their child’s understanding

You can promote empathy in your children by modeling empathetic behavior, demonstrating kindness and understanding in your interactions. You should encourage perspective-taking and teach children to recognize emotions in others by discussing feelings and perspectives in different situations, fostering understanding and compassion. Finally, engaging in activities that promote empathy, such as volunteering, reading books with diverse characters and themes, and encouraging open discussions about emotions and different points of view is also important.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties.

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