PARENT GUIDE TO SUICIDAL IDEATION IN CHILDREN AND TEENS: WARNING SIGNS, HOW TO TALK ABOUT IT, AND WHEN TO GET HELP

PARENT GUIDE TO SUICIDAL IDEATION IN CHILDREN AND TEENS: WARNING SIGNS, HOW TO TALK ABOUT IT, AND WHEN TO GET HELP

Suicidal ideation (thoughts about dying or suicide) is more common in children and adolescents than many parents realize. These thoughts can occur in young people with mental health difficulties such as depression, anxiety, or trauma, but they can also emerge in those without any clear mental health diagnosis. For some, suicidal ideation is fleeting—a reflection of intense stress or emotional pain in the moment. For others, it can persist and, in a smaller number of cases, lead to suicide attempts or even suicide itself.

Because of the risks associated with suicidal thoughts, parents and caregivers play a crucial role in recognizing warning signs, opening conversations, and seeking support. Talking about suicide does not encourage it. In fact, asking directly about suicidal ideation can provide children with relief and help them feel less alone.

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Recognizing the Signs of Suicidal Ideation

Suicidal ideation does not always look the same. Some children and teens may speak openly about wanting to die, while others may express it indirectly—saying things like “I wish I could just disappear” or “Everyone would be better off without me.” Other warning signs may include:

• Becoming more withdrawn, distant, or disconnected from friends and family
• Expressing feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or guilt
• Giving away belongings or saying goodbye in unusual ways
• Increased irritability, tearfulness, or sudden mood swings
• Risk-taking behaviors, such as reckless driving or substance use
• A sudden calmness after a period of distress (sometimes a sign of having made a decision about suicide)

It is always important to notice when your child seems different from their usual self. Even small changes—sleeping much more or less, losing interest in activities, or having difficulty concentrating—can signal emotional distress.

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Starting the Conversation

Parents often fear that asking about suicide might “put the idea in their child’s head.” Research consistently shows this is not true. In reality, children who cannot share their thoughts about dying may feel more isolated, which can make suicidal ideation worse. By asking directly and compassionately, you open a door for your child to talk about their pain.

You can try saying something like:

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been feeling [sad, anxious, distant, tearful] lately. Sometimes when we’re really struggling, we can have thoughts about death or hurting ourselves. Have you ever had thoughts like that?”

If your child says yes, the most important thing in that moment is to stay calm and connected. Give them a hug if they’re open to it, tell them you are glad they shared this with you, and reassure them that you want to help them feel better.

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What to Do if Your Child Discloses Suicidal Thoughts

If your child admits to having thoughts of suicide, it does not automatically mean they are in immediate danger—but it does mean they need support. Let them know you take their feelings seriously. Avoid dismissing their thoughts with comments like “Don’t be silly, you have so much to live for” or “You’re just looking for attention.” Instead, validate their pain and emphasize that you will help them find ways to cope.

The next step is to seek professional help for you and your child. This may include reaching out to your child’s doctor, a psychologist, or a crisis service. If your child is in immediate danger of harming themselves (f.ex., saying statements like: “Tonight when you go to sleep, I will take swallow all the medication I can find in the house”), then go to your nearest emergency department.

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Supporting Your Child Over Time

Beyond immediate safety, children and teens need ongoing support to manage suicidal ideation and the underlying distress that fuels it. Helpful steps include:

• Creating a safe environment. Remove or secure potentially dangerous items such as medications, sharp objects, and firearms.
• Encouraging open communication. Check in regularly, even if your child seems to be doing better. Let them know you are available to listen without judgment.
• Maintaining routines. Predictability can provide a sense of stability during times of emotional turbulence.
• Connecting with professionals. Therapy—particularly approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)—can give children tools to manage overwhelming thoughts and emotions.
• Involving supportive adults. Teachers, coaches, extended family, or trusted friends can be part of your child’s safety net.

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Resources

If you or your child are in immediate danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department.

For urgent support, here are some resources available in Ontario and Quebec:

• Canada Suicide Crisis Helpline (24/7): Dial 988 – Available nationwide for anyone thinking about suicide or concerned about someone else.
• Kids Help Phone (24/7): 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868 – Free, confidential support for children and teens in Canada.
• Suicide.ca (Quebec): 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645 – Crisis support and resources specifically for people in Quebec.
• Info-Social 811 (Quebec): Dial 811 – Speak with a healthcare professional about mental health concerns at any time.
• Local hospitals and CLSCs – Many offer crisis services and walk-in mental health support.

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Freqently Asked Questions

1. Will asking my child about suicide make them more likely to think about it?

No. Research consistently shows that asking about suicidal thoughts does not increase risk. In fact, it often reduces feelings of isolation and can open the door to important conversations.

2. What should I do if my child admits to thinking about suicide?

Stay calm, thank them for sharing, and let them know you take their feelings seriously. Offer comfort, avoid judgment, and seek professional help. If your child is in immediate danger, call emergency services or go to the nearest emergency department.

3. My child sometimes says things like “I wish I wasn’t here” but then laughs it off. Should I be worried?

Comments like these should always be taken seriously, as they often reflect real distress. Use these moments as an opportunity to check in gently and directly. Asking shows that you are paying attention and that you care.

4. What is the connection between self-harm and suicidal thoughts?

Self-harm (such as cutting or burning) is not always a suicide attempt, but it is a sign of deep emotional pain and should always be taken seriously. Many young people use self-harm as a way to cope with intense feelings or regain a sense of control. However, those who self-harm are also at a higher risk of developing suicidal thoughts or behaviors over time. If you notice signs of self-injury, approach your child with compassion and seek professional help. Addressing the underlying distress early can prevent future harm and support healing.

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In Summary

Hearing that your child has thoughts of suicide can be frightening and overwhelming. But remember: suicidal ideation is not a sign of weakness in you or your child—it is a signal of pain and distress that deserves attention. By noticing changes, asking directly, and responding with compassion, you can provide the safety and support your child needs.

Above all, your child needs to know that their life matters, that their pain is taken seriously, and that help is available. Small, caring conversations can make a life-saving difference.