Auteur : Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

UNDERSTANDING CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENT ANXIETY: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS

UNDERSTANDING CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENT ANXIETY: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS

Publié le par Dr. Stephanie Leon

UNDERSTANDING CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENT ANXIETY: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS

Anxiety is a natural part of life and, in small doses, is helpful. However, when anxiety becomes excessive and persistent, it can significantly impact a child or adolescent’s well-being and daily functioning. As a parent, being aware of the various types of anxiety disorders and their developmental risk factors is crucial in recognizing and supporting your child’s mental health.

Separation Anxiety Disorder

Commonly observed in younger children, separation anxiety involves intense fear or worry about being away from familiar surroundings, like home, or separated from loved ones. They might even experience distress simply from thinking about or anticipating separation.

This anxiety can present itself through clinginess, reluctance, or refusal to attend school/activities/sleepovers, excessive distress during drop-offs, or persistent worries about being apart from loved ones. Separation anxiety can even present itself at bedtime.

A child experiencing separation anxiety might become visibly upset, crying, or pleading for the caregiver not to leave. They may also show physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, or nausea when anticipating separation (sometimes several days ahead).

Additionally, they might seek constant reassurance or be overly worried about potential harm befalling themselves or their caregivers when apart. This can include fear such as caregivers being in an accident, pets dying in a housefire, or being kidnapped while playing in their backyard.

This anxiety can significantly disrupt the child’s routine, affecting their social interactions, academic performance, and overall well-being.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

GAD involves excessive and persistent worries about various aspects of life, such as academic performance, social interactions, and personal safety. Children with GAD often exhibit perfectionism, excessive self-criticism, and physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches.

These worries go beyond what is developmentally appropriate and might include concerns about minor events or catastrophic outcomes. These children may display perfectionistic tendencies, seeking constant reassurance, and overthinking even routine activities.

Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension, or fatigue might accompany their anxious thoughts. They may struggle with falling asleep, difficulty concentrating, or irritability due to their persistent worries.

This chronic state of apprehension and heightened anxiety can impair their ability to focus in school, enjoy leisure activities, and maintain healthy relationships, impacting their overall well-being.

Social Anxiety Disorder

Children or adolescents with social anxiety experience intense fear or discomfort in social situations due to a fear of being judged or embarrassed. They may avoid social gatherings, speaking in public, or participating in activities where they feel scrutinized.

They may avoid speaking up in class, participating in activities, or attending gatherings. When forced to be in social situations, they might experience physical symptoms such as blushing, trembling, sweating, rapid heartbeat, or upset stomach.

These children often worry excessively about making mistakes, being negatively evaluated, or feeling humiliated in social settings. Their fear of rejection or criticism hampers their ability to form friendships, engage in extracurricular activities, or participate in classroom discussions, affecting their academic and social development.

Social anxiety disorder can significantly impact a child’s self-esteem, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Anxious school refusal

Anxious school refusal is characterized by a persistent and overwhelming fear or anxiety related to attending school. Children experiencing this may exhibit extreme distress or panic attacks when faced with the prospect of going to school.

They might plead, cry, or express intense physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, dizziness, or nausea, making it challenging to leave home. Their anxiety about school can lead to frequent absences, tardiness, or reluctance to participate in school-related activities.

These children may express concerns about being separated from their caregivers, fear of social interactions, academic pressures, or experiencing bullying or ridicule at school.

The avoidance of school can significantly impact their academic progress, social relationships, and overall emotional well-being, causing distress for both the child and their family.

Specific Phobias

Specific phobias refer to intense and irrational fears of specific objects, situations, or activities. It’s important to note that fears are quite common in childhood, and many children outgrow them with time.

However, when these fears persist beyond normal developmentally appropriate worries and significantly interfere with a child’s daily life, it may be indicative of a specific phobia. Common phobias include fear of dogs, insects, spiders, the dark, thunderstorm, needles, vomiting and costumes.

Panic Attacks

A panic attack is characterized by a sudden and intense surge of fear or discomfort that reaches its peak within minutes. The onset is unexpected without obvious triggers.

In children, panic attacks can be mistaken for intense meltdowns. Physical symptoms might include racing heart, shortness of breath, chest pain or discomfort, trembling, sweating. The child might also be unable to speak or respond.

Developmental Risk Factors for Anxiety:

  • Temperament: Inherent behavioral traits can predispose children to anxiety. Highly reactive or shy temperaments may increase vulnerability to anxiety disorders. Children exhibiting behavioral inhibition, heightened sensitivity to new stimuli, or excessive shyness might be at a higher risk of developing anxiety-related challenges.
  • Parental Anxiety: Children of parents with anxiety disorders might be more susceptible to developing anxiety themselves. This can be due to genetic predisposition or learned behaviors and coping mechanisms observed at home.
  • Biological Factors: Imbalances in brain chemistry or alterations in brain function can contribute to anxiety disorders. Genetic predisposition and neurological differences may increase a child’s vulnerability to anxiety.
  • Environmental Factors: Stressful life events, such as family conflicts, major life changes, parental divorce, or moving to a new environment, can trigger or exacerbate anxiety symptoms in children.
  • Trauma and Stress: Exposure to traumatic events, such as abuse, neglect, or accidents, can significantly impact a child’s mental health, leading to the development of anxiety disorders.

Supporting Your Child with Anxiety:

  • Open Communication: Encourage open conversations with your child about their feelings and emotions. Create a safe and non-judgmental environment where they feel comfortable expressing their worries.
  • Validate Feelings: Acknowledge and validate your child’s emotions. Let them know that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you’re there to support them.
  • Parental accommodations: Refers to the adjustments or modifications that parents make in their behavior or routines to accommodate their child’s anxiety symptoms. For example, parents may avoid certain situations or activities that trigger their child’s anxiety. While this might provide temporary relief, it reinforces the idea that avoiding anxiety-provoking situations is the only solution.
  • Promote Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Teach your child healthy coping strategies like deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, regular physical activity, and relaxation techniques to manage their anxiety.
  • Establish Consistent Routines: Structure and predictability can be comforting for anxious children. Establishing regular routines for meals, sleep, and activities can help reduce anxiety levels.

Seek Professional Help

If you are concerned about your child’s anxiety, consider seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, specialized in treating children and adolescents.

Explorez online child psychotherapy services et online adolescent psychotherapy services at the Leon Psychology Clinic. Our psychologists and psychotherapists can help determine whether your child’s symptoms are within the range of typical development and, if required, provide support and intervention for an anxiety disorder.

Foire aux questions

What does anxiety look like in a child?

Anxiety in children can manifest in various ways, and it’s important to note that each child is unique, so symptoms may vary. Additionally, some level of anxiety is normal and can be part of typical development. However, when anxiety becomes excessive or interferes with a child’s daily functioning, it may be a cause for concern. Here are some common signs and behaviors that may indicate anxiety in children: stomachaches, headaches, muscle aches, avoidance, clinginess, irritability, restlessness, regression (ex., bedwetting), sleep difficulties, social withdrawal, school difficulties, and more.

What age does anxiety usually start?

Anxiety can manifest at any age, including infancy. However, the presentation of anxiety symptoms may vary depending on developmental stages. It’s normal for children to experience anxiety in response to new experiences, such as starting school or meeting new people. Transient anxiety is a typical part of development, and many children naturally outgrow specific fears and worries. In terms of more persistent anxiety disorders, some may emerge in early childhood, while others may become more noticeable as a child grows older.

Is anxiety inherited from parents?

Research suggests that many children with anxiety have a parent with anxiety. This is because of a combination of biological factors (shared genes) and environmental factors (modelling anxiety and ineffective coping, overprotective parenting).

In Short

As a parent, it’s crucial to understand that childhood and adolescent anxiety disorders are treatable conditions. With early recognition, support, and appropriate interventions, children and adolescents can learn to manage their anxiety effectively, leading to improved well-being and a more fulfilling childhood experience. Your empathy, understanding, and proactive approach can make a significant difference in your child’s mental health journey.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon provides online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

À propos de Dre Léon
BUILDING RESILIENCE IN CHILDREN: 3 WAYS OF NURTURING STRENGTH THROUGH ADVERSITY

BUILDING RESILIENCE IN CHILDREN: 3 WAYS OF NURTURING STRENGTH THROUGH ADVERSITY

Publié le par Dr. Stephanie Leon

BUILDING RESILIENCE IN CHILDREN: 3 WAYS OF NURTURING STRENGTH THROUGH ADVERSITY

Resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity, is a crucial trait that empowers children to navigate life’s challenges with fortitude and adaptability. It equips them with the tools to cope with setbacks, grow from experiences, and thrive in the face of adversity.

Cultivating resilience in children involves fostering independence, coping skills, and a healthy mindset. It also reduces the risk of developping anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions.

Overprotective types of parenting

However, contemporary parenting trends have seen a shift towards overprotective parenting styles which inadvertently hindering the development of resilience.

Helicopter parenting and bulldozer parenting are two terms used to describe parenting styles that are characterized by over-involvement and over-protection of children where parents often hover and shield children from failure or discomfort.

Constant intervention and overprotection prevent kids from learning how to handle challenges independently. Shielding them from failure robs them of opportunities to develop problem-solving skills and emotional resilience.

How do I know if I use an overprotective parenting style?

You might have a tendency towards being overprotective if you say yes to several of the following:

  • Does your child’s failure make you uncomfortable?
  • Does your child’s crying make you uncomfortable?
  • Do you jump to pick up your fallen child?
  • Do you jump to fix a situation for your child? (ex., intervene in a disagreement with a peer)
  • Do you find yourself reprimanding your child for small falls, scrapes, and bruises?
  • Do you prevent your child from climbing or jumping from ‘high’ places at the playground?
  • Do you stop your child from roughhousing with their peers?
  • Do you stop your child from interacting with ‘loud and active’ children in case they get hurt?
  • Do you tend to keep your child home most of the time?
  • Do you fix things (e.g., toys) before your child notices?
  • Do you provide multiple meal options in case your child is not in the mood for what you intended?
  • Do you buy your child a gift when shopping for someone else’s birthday?
  • Do you overcompensate to prevent your child from feeling disappointment? (ex., buying a treat because plans were cancelled)
  • Do you get really angry at other children or parents or school if your child is on the receiving end of minor injuries or insults, but if your child is the perpetuator you tend to give excuses for the behaviour?
  • Are you on the constant lookout for how ‘exceptional’ or ‘different’ your child is to explain his difficult behaviour?

3 ways to teach your child how to be resilient

Nurturing resilience involves allowing children to face manageable risks and challenges. Letting them experience failure, make mistakes, and encounter setbacks teaches them valuable lessons in resilience, adaptability, and perseverance. Allowing children to navigate challenges independently, within reasonable limits, fosters a sense of self-reliance and confidence.

1- Setting clear boundaries and expectations

Setting clear boundaries at home provides children with a sense of security and structure. Parents can establish boundaries by clearly communicating limits, rules, expectations, and consequences in advance.

Explain the reasons behind them in an age-appropriate manner, instead of saying things like ‘Because I said so’ and ‘Because I’m the parent’.

Make sure you clearly articulate what to do rather than what not to do. For example, instead of saying ‘stop running around at suppertime’, try ‘when we have supper, it is respectful to sit in your chair until your plate is done’.

Consequences should also be determined in advance. This way as a parent you don’t impose consequences that you can’t hold (e.g., ‘no TV for the rest of the month!’) when you are in the heat of the moment.

Natural consequences also make the biggest impact in the long run. Natural consequences are outcomes or results that naturally occur as a direct result of one’s actions or choices.

For example,

  • If a child refuses to wear a coat on a cold day, the natural consequence could be that they feel cold when they go outside.
  • If a student doesn’t complete their homework, the natural consequence could be receiving a lower grade or having to face the teacher’s disciplinary measures.
  • If the child breaks or loses a belonging out of carelessness, the natural consequence is that they don’t have that toy or belonging anymore even though it might be important.

Finally, the most important part about boundaries and expectations is consistency. Children respect parents who are consistent because it feels fair.

2- Teach Problem-Solving Skills

Help your child develop problem-solving skills by involving them in decision-making processes. Encourage them to brainstorm solutions to their own problems, gradually empowering them to handle challenges independently. Here are steps you can teach your child:

Identify the Problem: Encourage your child to clearly articulate the issue they’re facing. Ask open-ended questions to help them describe the problem in detail. For instance,

“What seems to be bothering you?” or “Can you explain what happened that made you upset?”

Brainstorm Solutions: Once the problem is identified, encourage your child to brainstorm potential solutions. You can say,

Let’s think of different ways we could solve this problem. What are some things we could try?

Help them generate multiple ideas without judgment, at this point it doesn’t matter if the proposed idea is silly, unrealistic, or just not very good. You can make a few suggestions (good and bad) if your child is stuck.

Evaluate Options: After listing several solutions, discuss the pros and cons of each option together. Guide your child to consider the potential outcomes and consequences of each solution. This helps them develop critical thinking skills and consider different perspectives.

Choose a Solution: Encourage your child to select the most practical and effective solution from the list they’ve brainstormed. Support their decision-making process by asking questions like,

Which option do you think would work best in this situation?

This is very important: allow them to choose what you would consider a ‘bad’ option.

Implement the Chosen Solution: Assist your child in creating a plan to put the chosen solution into action. Offer guidance and resources, if necessary, but allow them to take the lead. This step empowers them to take responsibility for resolving the problem.

Reflect and Learn: After trying out the solution, take time to reflect on the outcome. Discuss with your child what worked well and what didn’t. This reflection process helps them learn from the experience, fostering resilience and adaptability for future challenges.

Throughout this process, it’s essential to provide encouragement and support without taking over the problem-solving process entirely. Tailor your guidance based on your child’s age and developmental stage, allowing them to gradually take on more responsibility as they grow.

3- Effective praise and validation

Praise: Praise should focus on effort, progress, and specific actions rather than solely on inherent traits or outcomes.

In other words, instead of generic praise like “You’re so smart,” acknowledge the effort and strategies they used: “I appreciate how hard you worked on that problem.”

Try to highlight their persistence: “I admire how you kept trying, even when it was challenging.” regardless of the outcome. This approach fosters a growth mindset, encouraging children to value effort and learning.

When we offer praise that is generic or solely based on inherent traits or outcomes, we run the risk of communicating that traits or outcome performance equals self-worth. In other words, kids learn that to be ‘good’ or worthy they need to be seen as smart or competent usually through external standards such as getting good grades or winning medals.

Some children who excel by external standards and therefore get frequently praised for their academic or athletic performance are at higher risk of developing perfectionistic traits.

Validation: Sometimes when parents get this feedback, they become afraid to talk about performance which can then invalidate the child’s experience.

It is absolutely ok (in fact it is highly recommended) to validate your child’s frustration, disappointment or sadness at losing or getting a bad grade as well as to validate how proud a child feels at their accomplishments. What we need to avoid is overly praising them for those things.

This is what validation and effort-based praise can look like:

I see how disappointed you are by your math grade; you really hoped it would be higher. Even though it hasn’t made a big difference in your grades just yet, I am very proud of all the work and effort you have put in improving your math grades. Let’s set up a time to talk to your math teacher together to see what else we can do for the next exam.

You are so excited to have won first place at your dance competition! You must be so proud of yourself for all the practice you put into it. I’m so happy that the judges were able to see you at your best. Let’s go celebrate.

Further Readings

The Canadian Pediatric Society position statement regarding ‘risky play’ is a must read As safe as necessary: Paediatricians say ‘risky play’ can enhance children’s health and wellbeing | Canadian Paediatric Society (cps.ca)

Foire aux questions

What helps children improve resilience?

Resilience involves striking a balance between protection and exposure, allowing children to experience manageable risks and challenges. Allowing them to get hurt, fail, and experience setbacks can foster resilience by teaching them valuable lessons about perseverance, problem-solving, and self-reliance.

What are the 7 C’s of resilience?

Dr. Ginsburg, a pediatrician specializing in adolescent medicine in Pennsylvania, believes that resilience can be broken down into parts that he calls the 7C’s of resilience. These are competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. Read more about it here: Building Resilience in Children: the 7 C’s of Resilience (pathfinder.health)

What are signs of low resilience?

In children, low resilience often looks like great difficulty facing everyday challenges such as:

  • Disappointments (e.g., losing or breaking a belonging),
  • Changes/transitions (e.g., cancelled activity),
  • Navigating social problems (e.g., friend said that I’m stupid
  • Low self-esteem and self-worth
  • Poor problem solving

In summary

Ultimately, encouraging resilience in children involves finding a delicate balance between protecting them and allowing them to face challenges. Providing a supportive environment where children feel safe to explore, take risks, and learn from their experiences is key to fostering resilience. By embracing setbacks as learning opportunities and instilling a sense of independence, clear boundaries, and positive role modeling, parents can empower their children to develop the resilience needed to thrive in an ever-changing world.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online neuropsychology services through the Clinique de psychologie Leon.

À propos de Dre Léon
ONLINE THERAPY: WHY MORE PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING ONLINE THERAPY TO ADDRESS THEIR MENTAL HEALTH IN ONTARIO AND QUEBEC

ONLINE THERAPY: WHY MORE PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING ONLINE THERAPY TO ADDRESS THEIR MENTAL HEALTH IN ONTARIO AND QUEBEC

Publié le par Dr. Stephanie Leon

ONLINE THERAPY: WHY MORE PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING ONLINE THERAPY TO ADDRESS THEIR MENTAL HEALTH IN ONTARIO AND QUEBEC

In recent years, the landscape of mental health care has seen a significant transformation with the emergence of online therapy. This innovative approach to psychotherapy has provided individuals with greater accessibility to mental health services, offering convenience and flexibility like never before.

Online therapy, also called virtual therapy, teletherapy or telepsychology, refers to psychotherapy provided by videoconference accessible through a computer, tablet or smartphone.

However, as with any form of treatment, online therapy comes with its own set of advantages and disadvantages. Let’s delve into the key benefits and possible drawbacks of online therapy to help you make an informed decision about whether it aligns with your needs.

Benefits of Online Therapy

1. Accessibility and Convenience:

One of the most significant advantages of online therapy is its accessibility. It eliminates geographical barriers, allowing individuals to access therapy sessions from the comfort of their own homes. This convenience is especially beneficial for those with limited mobility, busy schedules, or individuals residing in remote areas with limited access to in-person therapy services.

2. Enhanced Privacy and Comfort:

For some individuals, the setting of a therapist’s office might be intimidating or uncomfortable. Online therapy provides a more private and familiar environment, allowing clients to participate in sessions from a place where they feel secure and at ease. This increased comfort can encourage open and honest communication between the client and therapist.

3. Cost-Effectiveness:

Online therapy often tends to be more cost-effective compared to traditional in-person therapy. Clients can save on transportation expenses and potentially find more affordable therapy options online, making mental health care more accessible and budget-friendly.

4. Flexibility in Scheduling:

Online therapy offers greater flexibility in scheduling appointments. Clients can schedule their appointments during their lunchtime, before work or school, before the kids arrive home without the added hassle of driving back and forth and facing traffic. Many online therapists also offer extended hours or weekend availability making it easier to find a convenient time for sessions.

Is online therapy right for me?

Research shows that online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy. However, online therapy might not be the best fit for everyone. You are encouraged to consider the following when deciding whether online therapy is right for you:

1. The Challenge: Technical and Connectivity Issues

One of the primary drawbacks of online therapy is the reliance on technology. Technical issues such as poor internet connectivity, audio or video disruptions, or platform glitches can interrupt the flow of a therapy session, leading to frustration and potential disruptions in communication.

What you can do:

Check with your internet provider to see how you can optimize your Wi-Fi bandwidth. Connect a few minutes before your appointment to check that your camera, microphone/headphones, and internet connection are working. Always have a phone number as a backup if the connection drops.

2. The Challenge: Access to a Quiet and Private Space

It is crucial that you feel at ease and comfortable during sessions. However, for some individuals or families their home environment might not be conducive to a quiet or private space for their sessions.

What you can do:

Use plug-in or Bluetooth headphones. Time your session with times when family members or roommates are away. Some individuals even conduct their sessions in a private room at school or work.

4. The Challenge: Security and Confidentiality Concerns

While online therapy platforms prioritize security measures to protect client confidentiality, there are still concerns about the privacy of sensitive information transmitted over the internet. Clients may worry about data breaches or unauthorized access to their personal information, leading to feelings of privacy and trust violation.

What you can do:

It is always recommended to discuss with your health care professional which strategies they use to safeguard your information. Any online practice should have a statement on how they protect their clients’ privacy online. You can also increase security on your end by always using a secure Wi-Fi connection (i.e., not public Wi-Fi), strong passwords, and making sure your antivirus software is up to date.

2. The Challenge: Limited Non-Verbal Cues

Therapists rely on non-verbal cues such as body language and facial expressions to better understand their clients. However, during online therapy, these cues may be less observable or more easily misinterpreted. This can lead to challenges with establish a strong therapeutic alliance.

What you can do:

Have an open discussion with your therapist about what to do if you feel there has been a miscommunication. It might also take more time for you and your therapist to build a good working relationship than in person.

Foire aux questions

Is online therapy effective?

Yes, online therapy has been shown to be effective for many individuals seeking mental health support, offering convenience, accessibility, and flexibility in scheduling sessions. Numerous studies have demonstrated its efficacy in treating various mental health conditions, with outcomes comparable to traditional in-person therapy. However, its effectiveness can vary depending on individual preferences. Having an introductory call with a therapist before hand can be a good way for you to ask questions and get a sense of whether online therapy is best for you.

Is online therapy good for anxiety?

Online therapy can be beneficial for managing anxiety by providing access to professional support from the comfort of one’s own space, reducing barriers like transportation or scheduling constraints. Many individuals find online therapy effective for addressing anxiety through various therapeutic approaches, including cognitive-behavioral techniques, mindfulness practices, and personalized counseling sessions tailored to their specific needs and circumstances. However, the effectiveness of online therapy for anxiety may differ based on individual preferences, the severity of anxiety symptoms, and the quality of the therapeutic relationship established during virtual sessions.

What does online therapy look like?

Online therapy typically involves connecting with a licensed therapist or counselor through video calls, phone calls, or messaging platforms. Sessions can resemble traditional in-person therapy, with discussions, exercises, and interventions tailored to address mental health concerns, but they occur remotely, allowing individuals to participate from their preferred location using a computer, smartphone, or tablet. Therapists employ various techniques, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness practices, and talk therapy, adapted to suit the online format, aiming to provide effective support and guidance to clients.

In summary

Ultimately, whether online therapy is suitable for you depends on your preferences, comfort level with technology, and specific therapeutic needs. Considering both the advantages and disadvantages can help individuals make an informed decision about whether online therapy is the right choice for their mental health journey. Clients are encouraged to discuss with their potential therapists if online is right for them.

Also read our blog on choosing a therapist.

dr. stephanie leon online child psychologist neuropsychologist in ontario quebec

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. She offers online psychology services through the Clinique de psychologie Leon.

À propos de Dre Léon
PSYCHOLOGIST VS. PSYCHIATRIST: UNDERSTANDING MENTAL HEALTH PROVIDER ROLES IN ONTARIO AND QUEBEC

PSYCHOLOGIST VS. PSYCHIATRIST: UNDERSTANDING MENTAL HEALTH PROVIDER ROLES IN ONTARIO AND QUEBEC

Publié le par Dr. Stephanie Leon

PSYCHOLOGIST VS. PSYCHIATRIST: UNDERSTANDING MENTAL HEALTH PROVIDER ROLES IN ONTARIO AND QUEBEC

In this blog, we’ll explore some of the most common types of mental health providers in Ontario and Quebec, shedding light on their education, roles, and distinctions. Whether you are seeking therapy for yourself or a loved one, having a grasp of the different mental health professionals can empower you to find the most suitable care that aligns with your needs.

What kind of therapist do I need?

A therapist is a general term to designate a trained mental health professional who specializes in providing support, guidance, and treatment for individuals experiencing psychological, emotional, or behavioral challenges.

Therapists may have different titles and qualifications based on their training and educational backgrounds. Let’s explore professionals that provide therapy (or more precisely, psychotherapy) in Ontario and Quebec:

What is a psychologist?

A clinical psychologist holds a doctoral and/or master’s degree in clinical psychology. Clinical psychology is the study of how people think, feel, and behave as well as the study of mental disorders and their treatment.

Psychologists who hold doctoral degrees can use the title of Doctor (Dr.). Psychologists are licensed and regulated by provincial regulating bodies (College of Psychologists of Ontario and the Ordre des psychologues du Québec). Psychologists have specific areas of competency, such as clinical neuropsychology and child psychology.

Psychologists are uniquely trained to use psychological tests to inform assessments and diagnose psychological disorders. They are also experts in providing a variety of evidence-based psychotherapy to address psychological issues.

What is a psychiatrist?

Psychiatrists are medical doctors (M.D.) who go on to specialize in mental disorders. Psychiatrists are expert in using medication to help their patients. For this reason, they tend to be more involved in treating those with severe mental health disorders and are often found in hospitals.

Nevertheless, psychiatrists can also perform psychotherapy and work in community settings. For more information on the study and practice of psychiatry, you can visit the Association des psychiatres du Canada website.

What is a psychotherapist?

Psychotherapists are health care professional that provide psychotherapy. Psychotherapists can hold bachelor’s or master’s degrees.

Psychotherapists hope to facilitate human change through psychotherapy. Most commonly they work to address wellness, relationships, personal growth, career development, mental health, and psychological illness or distress.

In Ontario, Registered Psychotherapists are authorized to perform the controlled act of psychotherapy if they are part of the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario. In Quebec, psychotherapists have to be registered with the Ordre des psychologues du Québec.

What is a social worker?

Social workers provide psychotherapy services to individuals, couples, families, groups, and communities. Many Social Workers in private practice, but they also work in clinics, hospitals and other health establishments. Social Workers’ training is very holistic, and they will often target community services in their approach to relieving distress.

To know more about social work practice visit the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers and the Ordre des travailleurs sociaux et des thérapeutes conjugaux et familiaux du Québec.

What is psychotherapy?

Psychotherapy, also called ‘‘talk therapy’’ or simply ‘‘therapy’’, is a way to help people with a variety of emotional difficulties and mental disorders. Psychotherapy is a treatment that aims to help a person function better and increase their well-being.

Psychotherapy can be conducted in an individual, family, couple, or group setting, and can help individuals of any age. Short-term psychotherapy can involve a few sessions to address immediate difficulties, whereas long-term psychotherapy can involve months or years of support for longstanding and complex issues.

Treatment goals and session frequency and duration are planned jointly by the client and psychologist. A trusting relationship between the client and their therapist is essential to working together effectively and benefiting from psychotherapy.

Foire aux questions

What does it mean when a therapist is ”licensed” or ”registered”?

Provinces tightly regulated the provision of health care services to protect the public. Regardless of which mental health care professional you choose, it is important to check if they are registered or licensed by a regulatory body. This will ensure that someone has checked the person’s credentials, that they have sufficient hours of practice and that they are practicing within their scope. Unfortunately, bad experiences do happen, and regulatory bodies provide a way for the public to make a complaint against a professional if necessary.

A directory search on the college or association that a professional belongs to is a quick and easy way to check if they are licensed.

Les psychologues peuvent-ils prescrire des médicaments?

Non, en Ontario et au Québec, seuls les psychiatres, médecins de famille et infirmières praticiennes spécialisées peuvent prescrire des médicaments pour traiter les troubles mentaux. Bien que les psychologues ne puissent pas prescrire, ils ont de l’expérience dans la coordination des soins avec les médecins et sont formés pour fournir de la psychothérapie aux personnes qui prennent des médicaments.

Est-ce que j’ai besoin d’une recommandation d’un médecin pour voir un psychologue?

Non. Cependant, votre assurance privée pourrait nécessiter une recommandation d’un médecin pour vous rembourser. Veuillez vérifier auprès de votre fournisseur d’assurance.

Do I need a physician referral to see a psychiatrist?

Yes. A psychiatrist is a medical specialty. Your primary care provider can refer to a psychiatrist if they feel they cannot manage your mental health issues or medication themselves.

Wait, so what is counselling then?

Many professionals and groups will use counselling and psychotherapy synonymously. For more information visit the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association.

In summary

Navigating the landscape of mental health providers and therapists can be a daunting task, especially when seeking the right professional help. From psychologists and psychiatrists to psychotherapists and social workers, the spectrum of mental health providers in Ontario and Quebec is diverse, each with unique qualifications and approaches to addressing mental health concerns.

dr. stephanie leon online child psychologist neuropsychologist in ontario quebec

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. She offers online psychology services through the Clinique de psychologie Leon.

À propos de Dre Léon

You can also read our article about online therapy.

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EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS DEMYSTIFIED: STRATEGIES TO IMPROVE ORGANIZATION, TASK COMPLETION, AND MORE

EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS DEMYSTIFIED: STRATEGIES TO IMPROVE ORGANIZATION, TASK COMPLETION, AND MORE

Publié le par Dr. Stephanie Leon

EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS DEMYSTIFIED: STRATEGIES TO IMPROVE ORGANIZATION, TASK COMPLETION, AND MORE

Executive functions encompass a set of cognitive skills that enable individuals to manage and regulate their thoughts, actions, and emotions effectively.

Individuals grappling with executive function challenges often encounter difficulties with disorganization, procrastination, forgetfulness, and an inability to follow through with plans.

Your brain is an Orchestra

Imagine your brain as an orchestra, and the executive functions as the conductor sitting at the very front of the brain (behind your forehead). Just as a conductor directs and coordinates every musician in an orchestra to play harmoniously together, your executive functions oversee and manage various mental processes in your brain.

The conductor (executive functions) decides which instruments (cognitive skills) need to play at what time, sets the tempo, and ensures that every section of the orchestra follows the musical score (your goals or tasks).

When the conductor is skilled and in sync with the orchestra, the music flows smoothly. Similarly, when your executive functions are working well, you can manage your time effectively, solve problems efficiently, control your actions and emotions, and switch between tasks seamlessly.

However, if the conductor is struggling or absent, the orchestra may become disorganized, playing out of tune, missing cues, and generally sounding awful. Similarly, when your executive functions are impaired or challenged, you might become disorganised, make errors, feel overwhelmed and dysregulated leading to a sense of chaos or inefficiency in your daily life.

Types of Executive Functions

– Planning and Organization:

Planning involves setting goals, outlining the steps needed to achieve them, and prioritizing tasks based on urgency or importance. On the other hand, organization involves approaching tasks and information systematically. We all have different internal organizational systems that dictate our thoughts (e.g., using weekdays to conceptualise time), belongings (e.g., organizing clothes by season or colour) and actions (e.g., internalized habits as to how to greet others depending on how well you know them). When we don’t, things feel chaotic and random.

– Self-Monitoring:

Self-monitoring involves assessing one’s performance and progress toward goals. We need to constantly monitor what has just been accomplished and what comes next. For example, if completing a recipe, you need to know what you have done previously to know what step you need to do next.

– Initiation and Task Completion:

Initiation refers to the ability to muster appropriate abilities to motivate oneself to begin a task. In other words, the opposite of procrastination. Then, as the task nears completion, you nedd to evaluate your final output against the initial goal. This evaluation stage involves assessing your performance and identify areas for improvement.

– Flexibility and Adaptation:

To be successful, we need to adjust or adapt our behaviour and output based on changing circumstances or unforeseen obstacles. Cognitive flexibility is therefore the ability to inhibit a previous set of behaviours and then shift strategies or problem-solve in real-time.

– Emotional Regulation:

Emotional regulation involves managing emotions effectively to navigate challenges and maintain focus. Although frustration, stress, and boredom are normal we need to overcome these rather than be consumed by our feelings. Emotional regulation involves acknowledging our emotions and using coping strategies to enable us to accomplish what we need to do.

What can I do about it?

There are several strategies that you can use to accommodate for and to develop your executive functions. Practical ways to do this includes:

  • Keep Consistent Routines: Consistency reduces mental load. Develop and stick to routines for daily tasks (for example morning routines, nighttime routines) so that you can have more mental energy and bandwidth for more demanding tasks in your day.
  • To-Do Lists and Planners: Create lists of daily or weekly tasks and allocate specific time slots for each task. Use tools like to-do lists, calendars, and planners.
  • Prioritize: Learn to prioritize your tasks based on timing, urgency, importance, and other factors. Adjust your priorities to changing situations.
  • Keep a tidy and organized space: A cluttered environment adds to your mental load. Regularly plan a time to declutter one part of your home. Make sure that the belongings that you frequently use are always kept in places that makes sense of its use.
  • Set Reminders and Alarms: Use technology to set reminders or alarms to prompt task initiation or transitions between activities.
  • Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness-based exercises to slow down and enhance self-monitoring and regulation.
  • Stop-Think-Go Method: Before taking action, take a moment to pause, assess what needs to be done, consider potential challenges, and then proceed with a clear plan of action.
  • Do One Task at a Time: Multitasking is a myth. Do one task at a time and shut off any distractions.
  • Breaking Down Tasks: Break down complex tasks or information into smaller, more manageable chunks to prevent overwhelm and facilitate better understanding.
  • Visual Aids: Use visual aids, such as color-coding, visual routines, or step-by-step, to enhance organization and memory for next steps.
  • Accountability: Engage with a teacher, family member, trusted friend, or colleague, who can offer support, encouragement, and help maintain accountability for task completion.
  • Rewards and Reinforcements: Setting specific deadlines and goals and rewarding oneself upon task completion can also reinforce positive behavior.
  • Pacing: Taking regular scheduled breaks throughout the day and during tasks can reduce burnout, distractibility and feeling overwhelmed. Many individuals also use the Pomodoro to maximize productivity.
  • Keep a journal: Organize your thoughts and ideas in a journal. Make notes of your feelings, needs and emotions.
  • Work with a therapist or psychologist: Learn to attend to your body cues and emotions. Learn tools to regulate your emotions and make choices/decisions based on your priorities and values.

Remember that just as a conductor guides the orchestra to create beautiful music, strong executive functions orchestrate your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours enabling you to navigate life’s challenges more smoothly.

Get Help: Neuropsychology Intervention

Are you ready to take the next step in supporting your executive functions? Dr. Leon is an experienced neuropsychologist. Explore our online neuropsychological intervention services today and discover the transformative impact they can have on your life.

Foire aux questions

Why are Executive Functions important?

Poor executive functioning can manifest itself in interpersonal relationships, work environments, and academic pursuits, impeding success and causing frustration. Developing solid strategies to enhance these abilities can improve performance and well-being.

Do I have executive functioning difficulties?

If you find yourself having the following problems, you might have poor executive functioning:

  • Having a messy home and often misplacing or losing your belongings?
  • Always arriving late and disorganized to meetings/events/activities?
  • Feeling easily overwhelmed by daily tasks at school or at work?
  • Feeling like you can’t juggle different aspects of your life?
  • Frequently avoiding making plans in advance and just ‘winging it’?
  • Procrastinating or giving up easily on almost everything?
  • Moving from one task/activity/idea/project to another without finishing anything?
  • Easily frustrated, stressed or bored by daily tasks?

Are executive functions related to ADHD?

Although executive dysfunction is not a criteria for diagnosis, it is widely recognized that many individuals with TDAH have trouble with executive functions. Those with mental health and cognitive disorders can also experience significant difficulties with executive functioning skills. But more importantly, anyone can benefit from the suggestions in this article, whether to support difficulties or to increase their performance.

Is it possible to have difficulty in one area of executive functions but not another?

Executive functions is a broad umbrella term that encompasses several related but distinct cognitive processes. You can certainly have an isolated deficit in one or two areas, but not in others. This being said, individuals with significant deficits in excutive functions tend to have deficits in almost all areas.

In Summary

Executive functions encompass a set of mental skills that facilitate goal-directed behavior, including abilities like planning, organization, problem-solving, and self-control. Executive functions are the brain’s orchestra conductor which can make beautiful music when coordinated but make things sound chaotic when not. When our conductor is struggling, we need to use external strategies to help us manage tasks, adapt to new situations, and achieve long-term goals in both academic and everyday settings.

dr. stephanie leon online child psychologist neuropsychologist in ontario quebec

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology and neuropsychology services through the Clinique de psychologie Leon.

À propos de Dre Léon

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HOW OUR MINDS FILTER INFORMATION: UNDERSTANDING INATTENTION

HOW OUR MINDS FILTER INFORMATION: UNDERSTANDING INATTENTION

Publié le par Dr. Stephanie Leon

HOW OUR MINDS FILTER INFORMATION: UNDERSTANDING INATTENTION

Imagine that your brain’s capacity to pay attention is like a camping headlight. When you’re focused, that headlight shines bright on what you’re doing. But for some people, this headlight flickers or doesn’t stay on one thing for long. In other words, inattention is difficulty keeping that mental headlight steady and on the task at hand.

Inattention can also be conceptualized as a filter problem. You brain needs to ignore and suppress thousands of pieces of information (called stimuli) throughout the day, from how clothes feels on your skin to the buzzing of lights, to be able to selectively attend to what is needed in the moment. In those with inattention, the filter is too loose and lets too many irrelevant pieces of information pass through which are then distracting.

Causes of inattention

Inattention is a cognitive process that is very vulnerable to internal and external conditions. This means that our ability to focus and filter out irrelevant information will vary depending on our needs, mood, health, and events around us. We are more likely to have trouble focusing if we are:

  • Tired
  • Hungry
  • Too hot or too cold
  • Anxious, worried or stressed
  • Down, sad or depressed
  • In pain
  • Have hormonal fluctuations (for example, during pregnancy, menopause and andropause)

These factors are normal and reversible. However, some individual’s attention is impaired due to neurodevelopmental factors (most common being TDAH) or aquired factors (e.g., brain injury, dementia, and chronic conditions like diabetes). In these cases, inattention is something the person struggles with on a daily basis and significantly impacts their day to day life.

What inattention looks like in everyday life

Common problems that individuals with inattention encounter include:

  • Forgetfulness: Frequently forget meetings, appointments, important tasks, loses belongings, or has trouble remembering what was said or what they just did. Note that forgetfulness related to inattention is different from a true memory problem.
  • Taking a long time to complete tasks: Because they are often distracted those with inattention have trouble completing tasks and may need more time to finish what is asked of them.
  • Avoiding tasks requiring sustained attention: They might avoid activities that need longer focus, like studying for exams or reading lengthy texts. On the contrary, they might move from one activity (project, task, idea) to another very quickly.
  • Daydreaming: They might tend to get lost in their thoughts, thinking about something else than what is being discussed in conversation.
  • Making careless mistakes: Rush through work or overlook details due to a lack of attention to instructions, rather than because they are truly not able to complete the task.
  • Difficulty doing what is asked: Struggling to follow multi-step instructions which leads to asking the same questions repeatedly, feeling overwhelmed and looking disorganized.

Because of their difficulties completing tasks, individuals with inattention are often labelled as ”lazy” or ”oppositional”. On the contrary, many individuals with inattention have to work twice as hard as others to complete tasks and should take pride in their achievements even if it took them longer or if they had to take a longer path to get to their end goal.

Can therapy help with inattention?

In therapy, addressing inattention often involves cognitive and behavioral strategies to improve focus, attention, and organizational skills. Therapists may employ techniques such as mindfulness training, behavior modification, and coaching on time management to help individuals manage and reduce inattentive symptoms. Additionally, therapy can provide a supportive environment to explore underlying issues contributing to inattention and develop personalized strategies to enhance concentration and overall functioning.

At the Clinique de psychologie Leon our skilled therapists and psychologists are ready to help you are your child improve focus and well-being.

Foire aux questions

I am a teacher or daycare provider, what can I do to help children with inattention in class?

  1. Preferential Seating: The child’s seat should be located in such a way to minimize distractions. Usually near the teacher and away from doors and windows is preferred.
  2. Shared Attention: Ensure that you have the child’s attention before providing instructions by making eye contact and/or positioning yourself at eye level.
  3. Clear and Visual Instructions: When providing instructions, make sure they are short, simple, and clear. Supplement instructions with pictures, graphs, and key words.
  4. Repetition and Reminders: Instructions will need to be repeated and the child with benefit from reminders to reinforce learning. Provide these in a neutral tone.
  5. Access to a Quiet Room: Allow the child to complete lengthy assignments and exams in a room free of distractions, such as a quiet room or resource room.
  6. Movement: Some children and teens may use movement or other self-stimulation to improve their focus. This might include doodling, using fidgets, humming, etc. If it is unintrusive to other students, allow the student to use this strategy.
  7. Noise-Cancelling Headphones: Permit the use of noise-cancelling headphones to reduce noise distractibility during individual work.
  8. Access to Recorded Materials: Provide access to recorded lectures, outlines, notes from peers/ teachers, or tools like a smartpen (e.g., LiveScribe) to review missed information.
  9. Use Engaging or Multimodal Learning Approaches: Provide highly engaging and varied learning approaches such as auditory, visual, and hands-on activities to maintain focus.
  10. Positive Reinforcement: Providing incentives, such as additional time on a preferred activity or special permission, can help increase motivation on non-preferred tasks.

I am a parent of an inattentive child, what strategies can I use at home?

  1. Shared Attention: Avoid giving instructions from across the room or while they are actively engrossed on a task. Make sure you are near them and making eye contact.
  2. Clear and Visual Instructions: Provide one instruction at a time. Make sure each instruction is short, simple and in words the child can understand. Refer to pictures or graphs to aid in task completion for routine tasks.
  3. Repetition and Reminders: Instructions and expectations will need to be repeated often. Reminders will be necessary to reinforce learning. Provide these in a neutral, non-judgemental tone.
  4. Frequent Check-ins: You will need to include more check-ins to make sure your child is on the right path when completing a task.
  5. Positive Reinforcement: Offer praise, encouragement, and rewards for efforts (not just accomplishments) to help boost the child’s motivation and self-esteem. Incentives, such as additional time on a preferred activity or special permission, can help increase motivation on tasks that are long and arduous.
  6. Dedicated and Quiet Workspace: Set up a quiet workspace for your child at home away from the busy areas of your home (for example facing a blank wall, not near the TV). Noise-cancelling headphones can help with auditory distractions.
  7. Limit Screen Time: Although excessive screen time does not cause inattention, it can contribute to distractibility and being unmotivated to work on difficult tasks. Set reasonable limits on screen time and encourage breaks from electronic devices.
  8. Encourage Physical Activity: Incorporate regular physical activities or exercise into the child’s routine. Exercise can help reduce restlessness and improve focus.
  9. Practice sleep hygiene: Make sure your child or teen goes to bed within the same 30-minute window of time every night. Shut off electronics 1 hour before bed.
  10. Healthy Eating: Make sure your child has a balanced diet. Breakfast appears to be the most important meal in terms of cognitive abilities and some research suggests that a high protein breakfast (e.g., eggs or meat) is best for attention and learning in children.

Does everyone who have inattention have ADHD?

No. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – including inattentive type, hyperactive type and combined type – is a neurodevelopmental disorder. Meaning that it arises due to brain differences that occur in the perinatal or early childhood period. Most often, the brain develops differently because of the person’s genes and gene interaction with the environment. For this reason, you might hear of terms such as neurodiversity or neuroatypicality when discussing ADHD. If inattention is present after this early period in the brain development, it is typically acquired (for example due to a medical condition, or head injury) or can arise as a response to stress, trauma, and mental health disorders. Although experts are divided on this issue, this is not true ADHD. Aquired or later life inattention symptoms can nevertheless significantly impact functioning and deserve to be treated with the same tools as those available for ADHD.

In Summary

Inattention refers to the difficulty in maintaining focus, staying on task, or being easily distracted, often leading to trouble completing assignments or following instructions. It can manifest as a core symptom in conditions like attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) but may also occur independently due to various factors such as stress, fatigue, or health conditions.

dr. stephanie leon online child psychologist neuropsychologist in ontario quebec

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon provides online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

À propos de Dre Léon
PERFECTIONISM: SIGNS, RISKS, & STRATEGIES TO COPE

PERFECTIONNISME : SIGNES, RISQUES ET STRATÉGIES POUR GÉRER

Publié le par Dr. Stephanie Leon

PERFECTIONNISME : SIGNES, RISQUES ET STRATÉGIES POUR GÉRER

« Je ne suis pas perfectionniste. Si j’attendais la perfection, je n’écrirais jamais un mot. » [traduit de l’anglais]– Margaret Atwood

Il est facile de convenir que des difficultés tels que la dépression ou l’anxiété sont des problématiques qu'il faut adresser. Mais nombreux sont ceux qui ne voient pas de mal à la quête de la perfection. 

Si vous êtes comme la plupart des gens, vous passez des heures chaque jour à visionner des vidéos et photos qui mettent en valeur la perfection. En voyant le succès des vedettes, athlètes et personnalités sur les médias sociaux, on se demande alors si les tendances perfectionnistes peuvent vraiment être si terrible pour nous. En fait, c'est tout le contraire. 

Dans cet article nous détaillerons ce qu'est le perfectionisme , quels sont les symptômes et quelles approches peuvent être utilisées pour gérer. 

Qu’est-ce que le perfectionnisme?

Le perfectionnisme est un trait de personnalité qui va au-delà de l’établissement de normes élevées pour soi-même; c’est un effort intense pour répondre à ces normes, souvent en liant sa propre valeur à eux. Et bien que beaucoup confondent la perfection avec l’excellence, il y a une différence distincte entre les deux. 

L’excellence est une poursuite louable d’être au-dessus de la moyenne, favorisant la croissance personnelle. À l’inverse, le perfectionnisme place la barre si haut que tout ce qui n’est pas parfait devient intolérable, même en suscitant des sentiments d’infériorité ou de dégoût de soi. 

Il existe trois sous-types de perfectionnisme. 

1) Perfectionnisme orienté vers soi

Perfectionnisme orienté vers soi est mieux compris comme une pression interne pour être impeccable. Ceux qui montrent ce trait fixent des normes élevées pour eux-mêmes accompagnées d’un sens sévère de l’autocritique et du discours intérieur négatif. 

L'échec personnel, en particulier dans les situations importantes, peut conduire à une vague de pensées auto-critiques comme, « À quoi pensais-tu, idiot? » ou « Comment as-tu pu faire une telle erreur? Je suis un échec! » 

Un exemple frappant de perfectionnisme orienté vers soi dans le contexte du travail s'est passé pendant le Miami Open de 2008. Dans un moment de frustration intense, l'athlète Mikhail Youzhny s’est frappé violemment avec sa raquette après avoir raté une balle. 

2) Perfectionnisme socialement prescrit

Perfectionnisme socialement prescrit provient de la croyance que la société attend de vous que vous soyez sans faille. Ces perfectionnistes sont susceptibles de ressentir quotidiennement des sentiments d’infériorité, de honte et de rancune. 

Une étude note une augmentation de 40% du perfectionnisme socialement prescrit depuis les années 1980., en particulier chez les jeunes adultes. C’est sans aucun doute grâce à la vague incessante de vies « parfaites » sur les médias sociaux, associée aux pressions croissantes pour réussir au travail et à l’école. 

Le perfectionnisme prescrit par la société est particulièrement alarmant en raison de sa forte corrélation avec des problèmes de santé mentale négatifs, tels que la dépression et l’anxiété.

3) Perfectionnisme axé sur les autres

Perfectionnisme axé sur les autres consiste à projeter ses propres tendances perfectionnistes sur les autres. Un exemple classique est ce qu’on appelle communément tiger parenting, où les parents établissent des attentes excessivement élevées pour leurs enfants. 

Les personnes ayant cette caractéristique peuvent exprimer ouvertement leurs attentes et indiquer rapidement quand les choses dévient de leur plan envisagé. C’est semblable à ce que Freud a décrit comme une « projection », où l’aspiration interne à la perfection est externalisée. 

Une personnalité connue souvent associé à ce trait est Steve Jobs, dont les normes impossibles étaient non seulement pour lui-même, mais aussi pour ceux qui l’entouraient.

Quels sont les signes du perfectionnisme ?

Bien que souvent masqué comme un trait louable, le perfectionnisme peut se manifester par divers comportements qui pourraient entraver la croissance personnelle et le bien-être. Reconnaître ces habitudes perfectionnistes est la première étape vers la compréhension et la gestion de ce trait complexe. 

  • Procrastination – Retarder les tâches de peur de ne pas atteindre la perfection, puis passer trop de temps sur la tâche une fois commencé. 
  • Difficulté à reconnaître quand s’arrêter – Ajuster ou refaire continuellement les tâches pour obtenir le résultat « parfait ».
  • Évitement - Éviter de nouvelles expériences ou de nouveaux défis par peur de ne pas être parfait.
  • Réaction excessive aux erreurs – Magnifier la signification des erreurs, conduisant à une autocritique excessive ou à la culpabilité.
  • Ne pas faire de son mieux – Retenir les efforts dans des situations difficiles pour protéger son image.
  • Autocritique excessive – Se juger sévèrement pour ne pas répondre à des normes élevées.
  • Grande sensibilité aux critiques – Percevoir la rétroaction ou la critique constructive comme une attaque personnelle.
  • Pensée tout-ou-rien – Perception des situations en noir et blanc, sans nuance ou compromis.

Procrastination

L’un des signes paradoxaux de la pensée perfectionniste est procrastination. Alors que les perfectionnistes sont souvent considérés comme diligents et travailleurs, la peur intense de ne pas répondre à leurs propres normes élevées peut les conduire à retarder ou même à éviter les tâches. 

Cet évitement n’est pas dû à la paresse, mais plutôt à une peur écrasante de l’échec potentiel ou de la critique.

Évitement 

La peur de l’imperfection peut être si intense qu’elle dissuade les perfectionnistes d’essayer de nouvelles choses. Ils peuvent éviter de nouvelles expériences, tâches ou défis parce que l’incertitude du résultat semble menaçante. 

Réaction excessive aux erreurs

Tout le monde fait des erreurs, mais même des erreurs mineures peuvent sembler catastrophiques pour les perfectionnistes. Ils ont tendance à magnifier la signification de leurs erreurs, conduisant à une autocritique excessive, la culpabilité et même la honte. Cette sensibilité accrue peut entraver leur capacité à surmonter des défi.

Quels sont les risques du perfectionnisme ?

La littérature et le cinéma ont longtemps mis en évidence les risques d’un perfectionnisme incontrôlé. Il suffit de regarder l’obsession de Gatsby pour un passé idéalisé ou les récits obsédants de films comme « Black Swan » et « The Prestige », et vous verrez que la pensée perfectionniste a un coût immense. 

Certains risques du perfectionisme documentés comprennent 

  • Atteinte de l’estime de soi – Ne pas toujours répondre à ses propres attentes élevées et irréalistes peut miner son estime de soi. Les perfectionnistes connaissent souvent de grandes fluctuations dans l’estime de soi liées à leur sentiment d’accomplissement perçu. 
  • Frustration fréquente – La poursuite constante de la perfection conduit souvent à des sentiments récurrents de déception et de frustration. Les perfectionnistes sont rarement satisfaits de leurs accomplissements.
  • Mauvaise performance – La peur paralysante de l’imperfection peut entraîner l’évitement des tâches, conduisant à une procrastination extrême et, finalement, à un mauvais travail ou à un rendement scolaire médiocre. L’évitement peut également apparaître dans d’autres domaines de performance tels que chez les athlètes, les rôles parentaux et les relations sociales.
  • Diminution de la productivité – Ironiquement, alors que les perfectionnistes sont connus pour leur travail acharné, ils se poussent souvent au bord de rendements décroissants. Leur vie peut ressembler à une course sans fin sur un tapis roulant implacable.
  • Dépression et anxiété – Une étude axée sur les étudiants collégiaux a démontré que les formes adaptatives et inadaptées du perfectionnisme sont liées à une augmentation des symptômes de dépression et d’anxiété. Le fait de ruminer, ou de réfléchir continuellement à la détresse, a été identifié comme un facteur important dans cette relation.

Comment surmonter le perfectionnisme?

Surmonter le perfectionnisme ne consiste pas seulement à lâcher prise, mais à adopter une nouvelle façon de penser. Voici quelques conseils pour aborder le perfectionnisme de front. 

  1. Prendre conscience de sa procrastination 

Identifier les tendances de procrastination est la première étape pour répondre aux craintes sous-jacentes et prendre des mesures proactives pour aller de l’avant. Essayez de reconnaître quand vous retardez des tâches par peur de l’imperfection. 

  1. Surveiller votre voix critique

Écoutez votre dialogue intérieur. Si vous vous critiquez constamment vous-même ou si vous établissez des normes irréalistes, remettez ces pensées en question. Remplacez-les par un discours intérieur plus équilibré et compatissant. Essayez un mantra comme, « Tout le monde fait des erreurs, je ne suis pas différent(e) » 

  1. Tolérance des erreurs

Comprenez que les erreurs font naturellement partie de la croissance et de l’apprentissage. Au lieu de vous attarder sur les erreurs, concentrez-vous sur les leçons qu’elles offrent. Acceptez les échecs comme des tremplins vers le succès. Au fil du temps, vous formerez votre cerveau pour avoir un état d’esprit de croissance plutôt qu’un état d’esprit tout ou rien. 

  1. Prendre soin de soi

Les perfectionnistes sont connus pour travailler tard le soir, sauter des repas et mettre leurs besoins de base de côté pour atteindre leurs objectifs. Que ce soit en prenant des pauses, en s’adonnant à des loisirs ou simplement en dormant suffisamment, combattez le stress du perfectionnisme en prenant le temps de prendre soin de vous. 

  1. Adopter la pleine conscience

En vous concentrant sur le « maintenant », vous vous débarrassez des erreurs du passé et des angoisses futures, ce qui vous permet d’aborder les tâches avec un esprit clair. Les pratiques de pleine conscience, telles que la méditation et les exercices de respiration profonde, peuvent vous aider à vous ancrer dans le moment présent et à lâcher la peur de l’échec. 

La psychothérapie peut-elle aider à traiter le perfectionnisme ?

La psychothérapie est un outil précieux pour aborder et gérer les tendances perfectionnistes. Si vous ou un proche ressentez les effets débilitants du perfectionnisme, voici deux formes de psychothérapie qui peuvent vous aider. 

La thérapie cognitivo-comportementale (TCC) 

La TCC aide les individus à identifier les schémas de leurs pensées, croyances et comportements perfectionnistes. Une fois ces modèles reconnus, les techniques de TCC aident à remettre en question et à recadrer ces croyances souvent irrationnelles. 

Par exemple, la croyance que « tout ce qui n’est pas parfait est un échec » peut être restructuré par « faire de mon mieux suffit. »

La TCC introduit également des stratégies comportementales pour briser le cycle des actions perfectionnistes. Cela peut inclure l’établissement d’objectifs réalistes, la pratique de la compassion envers soi ou la confrontation plutôt que d’éviter les tâches qui déclenchent des tendances perfectionnistes.

Thérapie familiale 

Le perfectionnisme chez les jeunes peut parfois avoir ses racines dans la dynamique familiale. La thérapie familiale explore ces origines, explorant les modèles, les attentes et les interactions qui pourraient contribuer aux comportements perfectionnistes d’un individu.

Cette approche collective garantit que la famille devient un environnement favorable, favorisant des croyances et des comportements plus sains. La thérapie familiale peut également fournir aux membres de la famille des outils de communication pour exprimer leurs attentes de manière plus constructive, réduisant ainsi les pressions qui pourraient alimenter les tendances perfectionnistes.

Récupération du perfectionnisme : Online Psychotherapy Services

Grâce aux services de psychothérapie virtuelle de la Clinique de psychologie Leon, nos psychologues cliniciens et psychothérapeutes peuvent travailler avec vous pour démêler les couches du perfectionnisme. Vous pouvez accéder à de la thérapie pour le perfectionisme avec des professionnels de la santé mentale licencié du confort de votre maison et avec nos séances entièrement virtuelles. 

Explorez online adult psychotherapy services et online adolescent psychotherapy services et commencez votre voyage vers surmonter le perfectionnisme aujourd’hui. 

Foire aux questions

Quelle est la différence entre le TOC et le perfectionnisme ? 

Bien que le trouble obsessionnel-compulsif (TOC) et le perfectionnisme impliquent des désirs intenses d’ordre et de précision, ils proviennent de motivations différentes et se manifestent différemment :

  • Le TOC est un trouble de santé mentale caractérisé par des pensées répétitives indésirables (obsessions) et des comportements (compulsions) que les individus se sentent poussés à exécuter. Les compulsions sont souvent effectuées pour soulager la détresse causée par les obsessions. Par exemple, une personne atteinte de TOC peut vérifier à plusieurs reprises si la porte est verrouillée en raison d’une peur irrationnelle d’une introduction par effraction.
  • Le perfectionnisme, d’autre part, est un trait de personnalité où les individus fixent des normes excessivement élevées pour eux-mêmes. La volonté d’atteindre ces normes est souvent liée à leur estime de soi. Un perfectionniste peut relire un courriel plusieurs fois avant de l’envoyer pour s’assurer qu’il est « juste », pas nécessairement en raison d’une crainte précise, mais parce qu’il veut qu’il soit parfait.

Quels sont les signes et les symptômes d’un perfectionniste? 

Les perfectionnistes présentent souvent une gamme de comportements et de schémas de pensée, notamment :

  • Procrastination: Retarder les tâches par peur de ne pas les faire parfaitement.
  • Réticence à déléguer : Croyant qu’ils sont les seuls à pouvoir accomplir les tâches requises.
  • Grande sensibilité aux critiques: Prendre la rétroaction personnellement ou la voir comme une attaque directe sur leurs capacités.
  • Pensée tout-ou-rien: Perception des situations en noir et blanc, sans nuance ou compromis.
  • Autocritique excessive: Se juger soi-même sévèrement lorsqu'on n'atteint pas nos standards irréalistes.
  • Évitement: Éviter de nouvelles expériences ou de nouveaux défis par peur de ne pas être parfait.

Y a-t-il des affirmations utiles pour les perfectionnistes? 

Les affirmations peuvent être un outil puissant pour remodeler les schémas de pensée. Voici quelques affirmations adaptées aux perfectionnistes :

  • « Je suis assez comme je suis. »
  • « Le progrès est plus important que la perfection. »
  • « Je libère le besoin d’approbation et embrasse mon moi authentique. »
  • « Les erreurs font naturellement partie de la croissance et de l’apprentissage. »
  • « Je suis digne d’amour et d’acceptation, peu importe mes réalisations. »
  • « Je choisis de me concentrer sur mes forces et de célébrer mes victoires, peu importe leur taille. »
  • « La perfection n’est pas le chemin du bonheur; être fidèle à moi-même l’est. »

Les enfants et les adolescents peuvent-ils aussi avoir des traits de perfectionnisme ? 

Oui. Le perfectionnisme peut commencer tôt, mais est généralement plus reconnaissable dans les années pré-adolescentes et adolescentes. Les enfants et les adolescents avec des parents qui ont eux-mêmes des traits perfectionnistes ou qui sont très concentrés sur la performance (généralement académiques ou dans le sport) sont les plus susceptibles de développer et de montrer ces traits tôt.

In Summary

Perfectionism can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and a fear of failure, impacting mental well-being and hindering productivity. Seeking support through therapy, practicing self-compassion, and setting realistic goals rather than pursuing flawless outcomes can help manage perfectionism, fostering a healthier mindset and promoting personal growth.

dr. stephanie leon online child psychologist neuropsychologist in ontario quebec

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

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BACK TO SCHOOL ISSUES: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT AFTER-SCHOOL MELTDOWNS

RETOUR À L’ÉCOLE : CE QUE VOUS DEVEZ SAVOIR SUR LES CRISES APRÈS L’ÉCOLE

Publié le par Dr. Stephanie Leon

Tout ce que vous devez savoir sur les crises de colère après l’école!

RETOUR À L’ÉCOLE : CE QUE VOUS DEVEZ SAVOIR SUR LES CRISES APRÈS L’ÉCOLE

Il est 15 h 30. Votre enfant ou adolescent descend de l’autobus ou vous le ramasser à l’école. Même si votre enfant ou adolescent sourit et rit habituellement, il a l’air maussade ou abattu. Il vous ignore.

Quelques minutes après l'arrivée à la maison, la paix est brisée par des pleurs, des cris et des arguments.

Qu'est ce que les crises de colère après l'école?

Après une longue journée d’apprentissage, il est naturel pour les enfants et les adolescents de vouloir se défouler, mais pour certains, cela dégénère en effondrement émotionnel complet ou crise de colère.

Ces crises de colère peuvent être causées par plusieurs facteurs, y compris la fatigue, la faim et la surstimulation. Mais ils peuvent aussi être un signe que votre enfant ou adolescent a du mal à faire face aux multiples exigences de la vie scolaire.

Quels sont les signes communs?

  • Colérique, irritable, grincheux(se)
  • Maussade, abattu(e)
  • Silencieux(se), ne répond pas
  • Irrespectueux(se), hargneux(se), cherche à s'argumenter
  • Pleure, et se fâche à propos de petites choses

Comment gérer votre enfant en colère, irrespectueux ou silencieux

Pour de nombreux parents, les heures après l’école peuvent être la partie la plus difficile de la journée. Que pouvez-vous faire pour survivre aux heures après l’école? Voici quelques conseils :

1) Faire preuve d’empathie

Tout comme les adultes, les enfants et les adolescents peuvent passer par beaucoup de situations difficiles au cours de leur journée. Cela peut inclure des commentaires négatifs de la part des enseignants, des conflits avec les pairs et le devoir se concentrer continuellement en classe.

Donc, lorsque vous voyez votre enfant ou adolescent irritable ou abattu, supposez que quelque chose est arrivé, même s’il ne peut pas vous l’exprimer. Sachez que leur manque de respect apparent ne s’adresse pas à vous. C’est l’expression de leur malaise ou de leur détresse interne.

2) Donnez-leur de l'espace

Faites le point avec votre enfant. Certains enfants et adolescents adorent vous parler de leur journée. D’autres, pas tellement. Des réponses courtes peuvent indiquer qu’ils ont besoin d’espace.

Offrez de l’aide et de la compréhension, mais s’ils ne répondent pas, n’insistez pas davantage. Donnez-leur un peu de temps, puis reconnectez périodiquement.

3) Avoir une routine constante

Les routines sont importantes, car elles aident les enfants et les adolescents à savoir à quoi s’attendre, réduisant ainsi l’anxiété et le stress. Des routines stables peuvent également aider le corps et l’esprit à se détendre.

4) Éviter de trop planifier

Beaucoup de parents veulent naturellement que leur enfant ou adolescent participe à de nombreuses activités et vivent des expériences variées. Cependant, de nombreuses familles (en particulier celles qui ont plus d’un enfant) font souvent face à une surcharge d'activités.

La planification excessive entraîne du stress (p.ex., s’assurer que tout le monde arrive à temps, avec le bon équipement) et nuit au plaisir de l’activité. Comment résister à un horaire trop chargé? Céduler du temps à l'horaire pour ne rien faire.

5) Offrir des collations saines et de l'hydratation

Une autre façon de faire face à la frustration après l’école est d’avoir des collations saines et de l’eau pour votre enfant ou adolescent dès qu’ils rentrent à la maison. Vous pouvez même envoyer une collation à manger sur le chemin du retour s’ils prennent l'autobus. Cela les aidera à tenir jusqu’au dîner et peut guérir les dispositions « hangry ».

6) Activité physique

L’activité physique (en particulier à l’extérieur) peut aider les enfants et les adolescents qui ont l’impression d’avoir été enfermés toute la journée à l’école. Il est également un grand soulagement du stress pour tout le monde. Après l’école est donc le moment idéal pour les enfants de courir et de brûler de l’énergie, que ce soit par une activité organisée, en allant au parc ou en dansant en famille.

Recognizing When to Seek Help: Child Psychotherapy Services

Dr. Leon is a skilled child psychologist who can help parents and children with emotional regulation, difficult behaviours and anxiety or low mood. Take the first step and schedule a consultation today to learn the right tools to support and manage your child’s difficulties.

Foire aux questions

Mon enfant pique une crise dès que je commence à parler de devoirs, que dois-je faire?

En tant que parents, nous savons qu’il est important pour nos enfants et nos adolescents de ne pas prendre de retard avec les devoirs. Mais les enfants et les adolescents ont également besoin de temps de repos. Créez une routine qui intègre les deux et fonctionne pour votre famille. Révisez aussi souvent que nécessaire.

Gardez à l’esprit que l’évitement chronique ou l’aversion pour les devoirs peut être un signe de trouble d’apprentissage/TDAH. Parlez à l’enseignant de votre enfant ou adolescent de ses progrès et demandez une évaluation psychoéducative si nécessaire.

Devrais-je laisser mon enfant regarder les écrans après l’école?

Il s’agit d’une décision personnelle et familiale. Les écrans ne sont pas nécessairement mauvais ou bon pour les enfants (il y a des recherches qui appuient les deux). La chose la plus importante à considérer lors de la prise de cette décision familiale est de savoir si le temps passé à l’écran enlève du temps des choses essentielles dans la vie de l’enfant ou de l’adolescent. Par exemple, si votre enfant ou adolescent passe beaucoup de temps à l’écran, mais qu’il passe très peu de temps avec vous, à jouer à l’extérieur ou à faire ses devoirs, alors oui, il est temps de changer les règles familiales.

Mon enfant est très énergique, devrais-je l’inscrire dans un sport de compétition?

Enrol them in a sport, yes. Competitive sport? That depends. Most (but perhaps not all) competitive sports, by definition, put performance above enjoyment. Although some children feel that competitive sports are rewarding and can derive a strong sense of pride from it, other children can become more anxious and develop perfectionistic tendencies as a result.

In Summary

After-school restraint collapse refers to the phenomenon where children display behavioral issues or meltdowns after suppressing their emotions and behavior at school. To address after-school restraint collapse, allow children time to decompress after school by engaging in relaxation, physical activities or providing a comfortable environment where they feel safe expressing their emotions without judgment.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology services through the Clinique de psychologie Leon.

À propos de Dre Léon

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WORRIED ABOUT JEALOUSY TOWARDS THE NEW BABY? A GUIDE TO PREPARING YOUR TODDLER FOR A NEW SIBLING

WORRIED ABOUT JEALOUSY TOWARDS THE NEW BABY? A GUIDE TO PREPARING YOUR TODDLER FOR A NEW SIBLING

Publié le par Dr. Stephanie Leon

Expecting a second (or third, or fourth!) baby? Congrats! Here are a few tips on how to prepare and manage your eldest’s jealousy.

WORRIED ABOUT JEALOUSY TOWARDS THE NEW BABY? A GUIDE TO PREPARING YOUR TODDLER FOR A NEW SIBLING

You are excited about the new life growing inside your belly, but also a bit apprehensive. How will my eldest react? Will they play together? Will my oldest feel neglected during the first few months? Will they get jealous?

Sibling jealousy is a common concern. Let’s discuss what steps you can take for the transition to be smoother for your oldest child(ren).

Before the birth

– Communicate the news

Tell your child about the baby in your tummy. There is no specific time when to do this but take into consideration the child’s age and ability to understand. Typically, a few months in advance when you start showing is a good time. Remind them often that there is a baby coming and share your excitement!

– Read

Read to your child a few books about the arrival of a new sibling so they know what to expect. For example, that mommy will spend a few days at the hospital while grandparents stay over. Since births can be unpredictable you can start reading these books around the time you tell them about the baby in your tummy.

– Play

You may want to engage your child in play (with a doll or teddy) so they can practice having a baby. But be clear that a baby will be able to move, cry, and will need to be handled gently.

– Involve your oldest

A few weeks before the birth, bring your oldest along at the store to pick out an outfit or a toy for their new sibling. It can help them feel more excited and feel included in the process.

After the birth

–Purchase a toy

Your oldest might be very excited to meet their new sibling. However, they might see the baby getting showered with new gifts. Consider purchasing a small gift to give your oldest in the first few days after the birth.

– Quality time

Once the baby is born, make time every day for one-on-one quality with your oldest, this will reduce the likelihood of jealousy. Also make sure to include lots of hugs and physical contact as this is comforting and reassuring to children.

– Involve your oldest

If your oldest appears interested, involve them in taking care of the baby. This can include fetching items like diapers and toys or helping at bath time.

– Do not reprimand harshly

Allow them to touch the baby. Do not scold or reprimand if they are rough, instead show then how you would like them to be gentle. Your oldest might also want to play with the baby’s toys. Allow them to do this, they will eventually get bored and move back to their own.

– Creative play

Your oldest might be impatient to play with the baby. Think of some games that require no participation from the baby, like playing peek-a-boo and singing to the baby.

– Providing opportunities to be a ‘big boy’ or ‘big girl’

Sometimes the baby can appear to have a lot of new and fun things (new toys, special chair, etc.) which can make your oldest jealous. Providing opportunities for activities or things that ‘are not for the baby and only for big boys/girls’ can create a sense of balance. Your oldest will feel like they have something special too.

Behavioural regression

It is expected that the older child(ren) will experience some level of adjustment to their new sibling. After all, their routine has changed, relatives and parents might be spending less time with them, there might be physical changes in the home and the baby’s cries and needs might be annoying to them.

Signs of behavioural regression can include:

  • Asking to wear a diaper again despite being potty trained.
  • Soiling their clothes or wetting the bed in a child that was previously potty trained.
  • Asking to be helped with eating and getting dressed when they did this independently.
  • Asking for a pacifier
  • Wanting to be held constantly or ride the stroller (if they stopped doing this)
  • Not being able to play alone.

In other words, anything that makes them more baby-like.

What should you do about behavioural regressions?

The number one thing is to arm yourself with patience. This can be hard if you are also contending with lack of sleep and a needy baby.

Do not get angry or react intensely to these behaviours. Acknowledge that they might want to do like the baby but that they are no longer a baby. If you want to indulge them a little bit at first, that’s ok (e.g., letting them taste the baby food). But then gently encourage them to go back to what they were doing previously.

Children innately want to grow up and be more independent and they will eventually give up their baby-like behaviours once they see no value in them. Providing opportunities to be a ‘big boy’ or ‘big girl’ can help some kids move along, for others it can simply be a question of time.

Seeking Professional Help: Parent Consultation

Dr. Leon is a skilled pediatric psychologist who works with children and parents on a range of behaviours, including sibling jealousy. If you are concerned about the transition for your eldest child, a parent consultation might be the best place to start.

Foire aux questions

Will I see signs of jealousy or regression as soon as I bring my new baby home?

Probably not. For most kids, there will be an initial period of excitement. Then, once the novelty wears off (this can take days to weeks or even months) you might see these signs.

Do all older siblings get jealous?

No, not necessarily. Whether your oldest gets jealous usually depends a bit on their personality and on how much they feel the baby is taking away from your attention and time. It can also depend on the oldest child’ age. By using the tips above, you can reduce the chances of your oldest getting overly jealous.

What do I do if my oldest starts asking to wear a diaper or use a pacifier again?

It is normal for older siblings (particularly in the toddler years) to experience behavioural regression when a new baby arrives. Do not scold or reprimand them, instead highlight the disadvantages of being a baby (e.g., going to bed earlier, not being able to eat snacks) and advantages of being independent.  

In Summary

Preparing your toddler for a new sibling involves discussing the upcoming changes positively and emphasizing their role as a big brother or sister, encouraging their involvement in baby-related tasks to foster a sense of inclusion and importance. Reading books about new siblings, spending quality time together, and addressing their concerns or questions can help ease the transition, ensuring they feel loved and secure during this significant family change.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

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TROUBLESHOOTING POTTY TRAINING ISSUES: 5 COMMON PROBLEMS AND HOW TO ADDRESS THEM

TROUBLESHOOTING POTTY TRAINING ISSUES: 5 COMMON PROBLEMS AND HOW TO ADDRESS THEM

Publié le par Dr. Stephanie Leon

Potty training can be very easy but only if your child is ready!

TROUBLESHOOTING POTTY TRAINING ISSUES: 5 COMMON PROBLEMS AND HOW TO ADDRESS THEM

Children differ in how fast they walk and talk and same goes for potty training. Some children are ready to potty train earlier than others; some can be potty trained before 2 years of age some after 4.

When children are ready and parents are consistent, most children can be daytime potty trained within a week or two. For other children, it can take longer.

In this article we will cover common issues that arise during potty training and discuss how to address them:

Fears

Toddlers can have unusual fears that don’t make sense to adults. When it comes to toilet training, a common one is a fear of falling in the toilet. This fear can be easily addressed by offering a child seat or potty before graduating to a regular toilet.

Other fears don’t have such a practical solution, such as being afraid that something will come out of the toilet, being worried about their poop leaving (separation fear), and fear of pain.

If your child appears resistant about sitting on a toilet, ask them whether they are afraid. Allow your child to express that fear and ask questions in a non-judgemental way to better understand it.

You can provide feedback and information at whether their fear is valid, but make sure not to trivialize or laugh away their fear. If this is impeding their potty training, it is clearly something that they think is important.

If the fear is related to pain, then your child might be experiencing some level of constipation or diarrhea. In some instances, children might remember and be afraid to experience it again. In this case, you can validate the experience and reassure them that the pain will not happen every time.

Children with a more anxious temperament might not be as easily reassured or comforted when fears are addressed. Be patient.

Withholding and Constipation

Withholding is the conscious effort to prevent a bowel movement. Some children withhold due to fear, not being ready or needing a sense of control.

It comes to no surprise that frequent withholding leads to constipation due to the child learning to ignore their body’s signals and because stagnant stool leads to blockages.

Frequent constipation often causes pain when the child finally does have a bowel movement, in turn increasing their avoidance of bowel movements. Signs your child is constipated include decreased appetite, small hard stools, and expressions of pain during a bowel movement.

This vicious cycle can be broken by increasing the body’s signals and reducing the likelihood of constipation through dietary changes. Here are a few basic suggestions:

  • Water: Increase your child’s water intake. Avoid high sugary drinks like fruit juices and sodas. Milk can be hydrating but should not replace water. Too much dairy can increase risk of constipation in some toddlers.
  • High Fiber foods: Prioritize high-fiber foods, such as most fruits, vegetables and oatmeal. You can increase vegetable intake indirectly by adding it to smoothies, tomato sauces and soups. Reduce refined sugars (cookies, cake, candy, prepackaged snacks).

Do you have a picky eater or have more questions on how to make these dietary changes? Connecting with your primary care provider or a registered child dietician can help.

Using the Wrong Reinforcer

All children are motivated by parental praise. High-fives, hugs, smiles, and verbal expressions of pride can go a long way in increasing any behaviour including potty training and should always be used first.

However, praise is not sufficient for some toddlers. Generally, children will be motivated by different things, depending on their temperament and preferences. Some children are motivated by tangible reinforcers like treats, stickers, or permissions. Others are motivated by social modeling or a desire to be more independent.

Figuring out what motivates your child can help move potty training along. Keep in mind the following when using reinforcers:

  • If you are using tangible reinforcers, make sure they are of token value (e.g., one gummy bear instead of a bag of candy, one sticker instead of a new toy and 10 more minutes of TV instead of a movie before bedtime).
  • Children who are motivated by a desire for independence or by social modeling, might benefit from watching other children or parents go to the washroom or helping younger children get potty trained. For these children, you can encourage them by asking if they want to be like their sibling, friend or cousin.

Life Transitions

You should avoid potty training just before or after a big change in your child’s life. For example, its not a good idea to start potty training when the child is starting a new daycare, moving homes, adjusting to a new sibling, or experiencing parental separation.

Children need to focus on adapting to these transitions and your attempts at potty training are more likely to be met with failure and frustration creating a negative experience for them.

So when is the right time? There is no perfect timing but aim for a few quiet weeks where you can concentrate on potty training.

Regression

Similarly, potty-trained toddlers can experience a regression in their potty training when confronted with big life changes. Even older children can experience a few day-time accidents or bed wetting.

Such a regression is completely normal. What you need to do is to arm yourself with a lot of patience.

If your child has been fully poly potty trained before, then they have the emotional and physical capacity to go to the washroom on their own. They will go back to being fully potty train once they have adapted to the new situation. It is really a question of time and how much support and understanding we provide during the transition.

I Have Tried These Strategies, and Nothing Seems to Work!

Although several strategies you can use as a parent to help your child become potty trained (including the strategies described above) many things are outside your control. A child might not be physiologically, physically, emotionally, or cognitively ready to potty train.

Forcing a child to potty train too early and it may result in increased meltdowns and trantrums, loss of self-esteem and confidence, and fears which can all in themselves delay readiness.

If your child does not start to react favorably within 1-3 weeks, stop and try again in 2-3 months.

Seek Professional Help: Parent Consultation

Dr. Leon is an experienced and dedicated psychologist who works with children and their parents on a variety of behaviours, including potty training. If you are struggling with potty training even after having put in place the strategies described above, a parent consultation can help you and your child.

For further reading:

  • General potty training book: Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right – by Jamie Glowacki
  • Children’s book for children who withhold: It Hurts When I Poop! : A Story For Children Who Are Scared To Use the Potty – by Dr. Howard J. Bennett

Foire aux questions

How can I be supportive of my child if they have accidents or experience a regression?

The most important thing is to not punish or shame them when they have accidents. Normalise that this can happen and that you will help them get to the washroom the next time. Support your child by expressing your firm belief that in time they will stop having accidents.

Can I give my child a laxative if he is withholding and constipated?

There are over-the-counter medications that can help with occasional constipation in children. These medications are not to be used continuously but can help break the cycle of withholding and constipation. Note that you should always ask your primary care provider first before using any new medications or if your child is experiencing chronic constipation. Your primary care provider will also be able to rule out uncommon but serious medical conditions that can cause constipation.

How do I know if my child is ready to be potty trained?

Factors associated with readiness include being capable of taking off diaper/underwear on their own, being able to access a bathroom on their own, showing interest in being potty trained, showing signs that they know a bowel movement is coming, feeling upset or ashamed when they soil their diaper, asking for their diapers to be changed, going longer periods of time without their diapers getting wet. A combination of 3 or more of these is probably a sign that you can start talking to your child about potty training.

In Summary

Troubleshooting potty training issues involves maintaining patience and consistency while identifying potential triggers, such as stress or changes in routine, that might affect the child’s progress. Adapting the potty training approach, offering positive reinforcement, and avoiding punishment can help address challenges, creating a supportive environment for the child to learn and succeed in their potty training journey.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology services through the Clinique de psychologie Leon.

À propos de Dre Léon

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