UNDERSTANDING CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENT ANXIETY: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS

UNDERSTANDING CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENT ANXIETY: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS


Commonly observed in younger children, separation anxiety involves intense fear or worry about being away from familiar surroundings, like home, or separated from loved ones. They might even experience distress simply from thinking about or anticipating separation.

This anxiety can present itself through clinginess, reluctance, or refusal to attend school/activities/sleepovers, excessive distress during drop-offs, or persistent worries about being apart from loved ones. Separation anxiety can even present itself at bedtime.

A child experiencing separation anxiety might become visibly upset, crying, or pleading for the caregiver not to leave. They may also show physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, or nausea when anticipating separation (sometimes several days ahead).

Additionally, they might seek constant reassurance or be overly worried about potential harm befalling themselves or their caregivers when apart. This can include fear such as caregivers being in an accident, pets dying in a housefire, or being kidnapped while playing in their backyard.

This anxiety can significantly disrupt the child’s routine, affecting their social interactions, academic performance, and overall well-being.

GAD involves excessive and persistent worries about various aspects of life, such as academic performance, social interactions, and personal safety. Children with GAD often exhibit perfectionism, excessive self-criticism, and physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches.

These worries go beyond what is developmentally appropriate and might include concerns about minor events or catastrophic outcomes. These children may display perfectionistic tendencies, seeking constant reassurance, and overthinking even routine activities.

Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension, or fatigue might accompany their anxious thoughts. They may struggle with falling asleep, difficulty concentrating, or irritability due to their persistent worries.

This chronic state of apprehension and heightened anxiety can impair their ability to focus in school, enjoy leisure activities, and maintain healthy relationships, impacting their overall well-being.

Children or adolescents with social anxiety experience intense fear or discomfort in social situations due to a fear of being judged or embarrassed. They may avoid social gatherings, speaking in public, or participating in activities where they feel scrutinized.

They may avoid speaking up in class, participating in activities, or attending gatherings. When forced to be in social situations, they might experience physical symptoms such as blushing, trembling, sweating, rapid heartbeat, or upset stomach.

These children often worry excessively about making mistakes, being negatively evaluated, or feeling humiliated in social settings. Their fear of rejection or criticism hampers their ability to form friendships, engage in extracurricular activities, or participate in classroom discussions, affecting their academic and social development.

Social anxiety disorder can significantly impact a child’s self-esteem, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Anxious school refusal is characterized by a persistent and overwhelming fear or anxiety related to attending school. Children experiencing this may exhibit extreme distress or panic attacks when faced with the prospect of going to school.

They might plead, cry, or express intense physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, dizziness, or nausea, making it challenging to leave home. Their anxiety about school can lead to frequent absences, tardiness, or reluctance to participate in school-related activities.

These children may express concerns about being separated from their caregivers, fear of social interactions, academic pressures, or experiencing bullying or ridicule at school.

The avoidance of school can significantly impact their academic progress, social relationships, and overall emotional well-being, causing distress for both the child and their family.

Specific phobias refer to intense and irrational fears of specific objects, situations, or activities. It’s important to note that fears are quite common in childhood, and many children outgrow them with time.

However, when these fears persist beyond normal developmentally appropriate worries and significantly interfere with a child’s daily life, it may be indicative of a specific phobia. Common phobias include fear of dogs, insects, spiders, the dark, thunderstorm, needles, vomiting and costumes.

A panic attack is characterized by a sudden and intense surge of fear or discomfort that reaches its peak within minutes. The onset is unexpected without obvious triggers.

In children, panic attacks can be mistaken for intense meltdowns. Physical symptoms might include racing heart, shortness of breath, chest pain or discomfort, trembling, sweating. The child might also be unable to speak or respond.


  • Temperament: Inherent behavioral traits can predispose children to anxiety. Highly reactive or shy temperaments may increase vulnerability to anxiety disorders. Children exhibiting behavioral inhibition, heightened sensitivity to new stimuli, or excessive shyness might be at a higher risk of developing anxiety-related challenges.
  • Parental Anxiety: Children of parents with anxiety disorders might be more susceptible to developing anxiety themselves. This can be due to genetic predisposition or learned behaviors and coping mechanisms observed at home.
  • Biological Factors: Imbalances in brain chemistry or alterations in brain function can contribute to anxiety disorders. Genetic predisposition and neurological differences may increase a child’s vulnerability to anxiety.
  • Environmental Factors: Stressful life events, such as family conflicts, major life changes, parental divorce, or moving to a new environment, can trigger or exacerbate anxiety symptoms in children.
  • Trauma and Stress: Exposure to traumatic events, such as abuse, neglect, or accidents, can significantly impact a child’s mental health, leading to the development of anxiety disorders.
  • Open Communication: Encourage open conversations with your child about their feelings and emotions. Create a safe and non-judgmental environment where they feel comfortable expressing their worries.
  • Validate Feelings: Acknowledge and validate your child’s emotions. Let them know that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you’re there to support them.
  • Parental accommodations: Refers to the adjustments or modifications that parents make in their behavior or routines to accommodate their child’s anxiety symptoms. For example, parents may avoid certain situations or activities that trigger their child’s anxiety. While this might provide temporary relief, it reinforces the idea that avoiding anxiety-provoking situations is the only solution.
  • Promote Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Teach your child healthy coping strategies like deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, regular physical activity, and relaxation techniques to manage their anxiety.
  • Establish Consistent Routines: Structure and predictability can be comforting for anxious children. Establishing regular routines for meals, sleep, and activities can help reduce anxiety levels.

If you are concerned about your child’s anxiety, consider seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, specialized in treating children and adolescents.

Explore online child psychotherapy services and online adolescent psychotherapy services at the Leon Psychology Clinic. Our psychologists and psychotherapists can help determine whether your child’s symptoms are within the range of typical development and, if required, provide support and intervention for an anxiety disorder.


  • ”Ruby Finds a Worry” by Tom Percival
  • ”How Big Are Your Worries Little Bear” by Jayneen Sanders

Anxiety in children can manifest in various ways, and it’s important to note that each child is unique, so symptoms may vary. Additionally, some level of anxiety is normal and can be part of typical development. However, when anxiety becomes excessive or interferes with a child’s daily functioning, it may be a cause for concern. Here are some common signs and behaviors that may indicate anxiety in children: stomachaches, headaches, muscle aches, avoidance, clinginess, irritability, restlessness, regression (ex., bedwetting), sleep difficulties, social withdrawal, school difficulties, and more.

Anxiety can manifest at any age, including infancy. However, the presentation of anxiety symptoms may vary depending on developmental stages. It’s normal for children to experience anxiety in response to new experiences, such as starting school or meeting new people. Transient anxiety is a typical part of development, and many children naturally outgrow specific fears and worries. In terms of more persistent anxiety disorders, some may emerge in early childhood, while others may become more noticeable as a child grows older.

Research suggests that many children with anxiety have a parent with anxiety. This is because of a combination of biological factors (shared genes) and environmental factors (modelling anxiety and ineffective coping, overprotective parenting).


As a parent, it’s crucial to understand that childhood and adolescent anxiety disorders are treatable conditions. With early recognition, support, and appropriate interventions, children and adolescents can learn to manage their anxiety effectively, leading to improved well-being and a more fulfilling childhood experience. Your empathy, understanding, and proactive approach can make a significant difference in your child’s mental health journey.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon provides online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS DEMYSTIFIED: STRATEGIES TO IMPROVE ORGANIZATION, TASK COMPLETION, AND MORE

EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS DEMYSTIFIED: STRATEGIES TO IMPROVE ORGANIZATION, TASK COMPLETION, AND MORE

Executive functions encompass a set of cognitive skills that enable individuals to manage and regulate their thoughts, actions, and emotions effectively.

Individuals grappling with executive function challenges often encounter difficulties with disorganization, procrastination, forgetfulness, and an inability to follow through with plans.

Your brain is an Orchestra

Imagine your brain as an orchestra, and the executive functions as the conductor sitting at the very front of the brain (behind your forehead). Just as a conductor directs and coordinates every musician in an orchestra to play harmoniously together, your executive functions oversee and manage various mental processes in your brain.

The conductor (executive functions) decides which instruments (cognitive skills) need to play at what time, sets the tempo, and ensures that every section of the orchestra follows the musical score (your goals or tasks).

When the conductor is skilled and in sync with the orchestra, the music flows smoothly. Similarly, when your executive functions are working well, you can manage your time effectively, solve problems efficiently, control your actions and emotions, and switch between tasks seamlessly.

However, if the conductor is struggling or absent, the orchestra may become disorganized, playing out of tune, missing cues, and generally sounding awful. Similarly, when your executive functions are impaired or challenged, you might become disorganised, make errors, feel overwhelmed and dysregulated leading to a sense of chaos or inefficiency in your daily life.

Types of Executive Functions

– Planning and Organization:

Planning involves setting goals, outlining the steps needed to achieve them, and prioritizing tasks based on urgency or importance. On the other hand, organization involves approaching tasks and information systematically. We all have different internal organizational systems that dictate our thoughts (e.g., using weekdays to conceptualise time), belongings (e.g., organizing clothes by season or colour) and actions (e.g., internalized habits as to how to greet others depending on how well you know them). When we don’t, things feel chaotic and random.

– Self-Monitoring:

Self-monitoring involves assessing one’s performance and progress toward goals. We need to constantly monitor what has just been accomplished and what comes next. For example, if completing a recipe, you need to know what you have done previously to know what step you need to do next.

– Initiation and Task Completion:

Initiation refers to the ability to muster appropriate abilities to motivate oneself to begin a task. In other words, the opposite of procrastination. Then, as the task nears completion, you need to evaluate your final output against the initial goal. This evaluation stage involves assessing your performance and identify areas for improvement.

– Cognitive Flexibility:

To be successful, we need to adjust or adapt our behaviour and output based on changing circumstances or unforeseen obstacles. Cognitive flexibility is therefore the ability to inhibit a previous set of behaviours and then shift strategies or problem-solve in real-time.

– Emotional Regulation:

Emotional regulation involves managing emotions effectively to navigate challenges and maintain focus. Although frustration, stress, and boredom are normal we need to overcome these rather than be consumed by our feelings. Emotional regulation involves acknowledging our emotions and using coping strategies to enable us to accomplish what we need to do.

What can I do about it?

There are several strategies that you can use to accommodate for and to develop your executive functions. Practical ways to do this includes:

  • Keep Consistent Routines: Consistency reduces mental load. Develop and stick to routines for daily tasks (for example morning routines, nighttime routines) so that you can have more mental energy and bandwidth for more demanding tasks in your day.
  • To-Do Lists and Planners: Create lists of daily or weekly tasks and allocate specific time slots for each task. Use tools like to-do lists, calendars, and planners.
  • Prioritize: Learn to prioritize your tasks based on timing, urgency, importance, and other factors. Adjust your priorities to changing situations.
  • Keep a tidy and organized space: A cluttered environment adds to your mental load. Regularly plan a time to declutter one part of your home. Make sure that the belongings that you frequently use are always kept in places that makes sense of its use.
  • Set Reminders and Alarms: Use technology to set reminders or alarms to prompt task initiation or transitions between activities.
  • Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness-based exercises to slow down and enhance self-monitoring and regulation.
  • Stop-Think-Go Method: Before taking action, take a moment to pause, assess what needs to be done, consider potential challenges, and then proceed with a clear plan of action.
  • Do One Task at a Time: Multitasking is a myth. Do one task at a time and shut off any distractions.
  • Breaking Down Tasks: Break down complex tasks or information into smaller, more manageable chunks to prevent overwhelm and facilitate better understanding.
  • Visual Aids: Use visual aids, such as color-coding, visual routines, or step-by-step, to enhance organization and memory for next steps.
  • Accountability: Engage with a teacher, family member, trusted friend, or colleague, who can offer support, encouragement, and help maintain accountability for task completion.
  • Rewards and Reinforcements: Setting specific deadlines and goals and rewarding oneself upon task completion can also reinforce positive behavior.
  • Pacing: Taking regular scheduled breaks throughout the day and during tasks can reduce burnout, distractibility and feeling overwhelmed. Many individuals also use the Pomodoro to maximize productivity.
  • Keep a journal: Organize your thoughts and ideas in a journal. Make notes of your feelings, needs and emotions.
  • Work with a therapist or psychologist: Learn to attend to your body cues and emotions. Learn tools to regulate your emotions and make choices/decisions based on your priorities and values.

Remember that just as a conductor guides the orchestra to create beautiful music, strong executive functions orchestrate your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours enabling you to navigate life’s challenges more smoothly.

Are you ready to take the next step in supporting your executive functions? Dr. Leon is an experienced neuropsychologist. Explore our online neuropsychological intervention services today and discover the transformative impact they can have on your life.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why are Executive Functions important?

Poor executive functioning can manifest itself in interpersonal relationships, work environments, and academic pursuits, impeding success and causing frustration. Developing solid strategies to enhance these abilities can improve performance and well-being.

Do I have executive functioning difficulties?

If you find yourself having the following problems, you might have poor executive functioning:

  • Having a messy home and often misplacing or losing your belongings?
  • Always arriving late and disorganized to meetings/events/activities?
  • Feeling easily overwhelmed by daily tasks at school or at work?
  • Feeling like you can’t juggle different aspects of your life?
  • Frequently avoiding making plans in advance and just ‘winging it’?
  • Procrastinating or giving up easily on almost everything?
  • Moving from one task/activity/idea/project to another without finishing anything?
  • Easily frustrated, stressed or bored by daily tasks?

Are executive functions related to ADHD?

Although executive dysfunction is not a criteria for diagnosis, it is widely recognized that many individuals with ADHD have trouble with executive functions. Those with mental health and cognitive disorders can also experience significant difficulties with executive functioning skills. But more importantly, anyone can benefit from the suggestions in this article, whether to support difficulties or to increase their performance.

Is it possible to have difficulty in one area of executive functions but not another?

Executive functions is a broad umbrella term that encompasses several related but distinct cognitive processes. You can certainly have an isolated deficit in one or two areas, but not in others. This being said, individuals with significant deficits in excutive functions tend to have deficits in almost all areas.

Executive functions encompass a set of mental skills that facilitate goal-directed behavior, including abilities like planning, organization, problem-solving, and self-control. Executive functions are the brain’s orchestra conductor which can make beautiful music when coordinated but make things sound chaotic when not. When our conductor is struggling, we need to use external strategies to help us manage tasks, adapt to new situations, and achieve long-term goals in both academic and everyday settings.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology and neuropsychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

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HOW OUR MINDS FILTER INFORMATION: UNDERSTANDING INATTENTION

HOW OUR MINDS FILTER INFORMATION: UNDERSTANDING INATTENTION

Imagine that your brain’s capacity to pay attention is like a camping headlight. When you’re focused, that headlight shines bright on what you’re doing. But for some people, this headlight flickers or doesn’t stay on one thing for long. In other words, inattention is difficulty keeping that mental headlight steady and on the task at hand.

Inattention can also be conceptualized as a filter problem. You brain needs to ignore and suppress thousands of pieces of information (called stimuli) throughout the day, from how clothes feels on your skin to the buzzing of lights, to be able to selectively attend to what is needed in the moment. In those with inattention, the filter is too loose and lets too many irrelevant pieces of information pass through which are then distracting.

Causes of inattention

Inattention is a cognitive process that is very vulnerable to internal and external conditions. This means that our ability to focus and filter out irrelevant information will vary depending on our needs, mood, health, and events around us. We are more likely to have trouble focusing if we are:

  • Tired
  • Hungry
  • Too hot or too cold
  • Anxious, worried or stressed
  • Down, sad or depressed
  • In pain
  • Have hormonal fluctuations (for example, during pregnancy, menopause and andropause)

These factors are normal and reversible. However, some individual’s attention is impaired due to neurodevelopmental factors (most common being ADHD) or aquired factors (e.g., brain injury, dementia, and chronic conditions like diabetes). In these cases, inattention is something the person struggles with on a daily basis and significantly impacts their day to day life.

What inattention looks like in everyday life

Common problems that individuals with inattention encounter include:

  • Forgetfulness: Frequently forget meetings, appointments, important tasks, loses belongings, or has trouble remembering what was said or what they just did. Note that forgetfulness related to inattention is different from a true memory problem.
  • Taking a long time to complete tasks: Because they are often distracted those with inattention have trouble completing tasks and may need more time to finish what is asked of them.
  • Avoiding tasks requiring sustained attention: They might avoid activities that need longer focus, like studying for exams or reading lengthy texts. On the contrary, they might move from one activity (project, task, idea) to another very quickly.
  • Daydreaming: They might tend to get lost in their thoughts, thinking about something else than what is being discussed in conversation.
  • Making careless mistakes: Rush through work or overlook details due to a lack of attention to instructions, rather than because they are truly not able to complete the task.
  • Difficulty doing what is asked: Struggling to follow multi-step instructions which leads to asking the same questions repeatedly, feeling overwhelmed and looking disorganized.

Because of their difficulties completing tasks, individuals with inattention are often labelled as ”lazy” or ”oppositional”. On the contrary, many individuals with inattention have to work twice as hard as others to complete tasks and should take pride in their achievements even if it took them longer or if they had to take a longer path to get to their end goal.

In therapy, addressing inattention often involves cognitive and behavioral strategies to improve focus, attention, and organizational skills. Therapists may employ techniques such as mindfulness training, behavior modification, and coaching on time management to help individuals manage and reduce inattentive symptoms. Additionally, therapy can provide a supportive environment to explore underlying issues contributing to inattention and develop personalized strategies to enhance concentration and overall functioning.

At the Leon Psychology Clinic our skilled therapists and psychologists are ready to help you are your child improve focus and well-being.

Frequently Asked Questions

I am a teacher or daycare provider, what can I do to help children with inattention in class?

  1. Preferential Seating: The child’s seat should be located in such a way to minimize distractions. Usually near the teacher and away from doors and windows is preferred.
  2. Shared Attention: Ensure that you have the child’s attention before providing instructions by making eye contact and/or positioning yourself at eye level.
  3. Clear and Visual Instructions: When providing instructions, make sure they are short, simple, and clear. Supplement instructions with pictures, graphs, and key words.
  4. Repetition and Reminders: Instructions will need to be repeated and the child with benefit from reminders to reinforce learning. Provide these in a neutral tone.
  5. Access to a Quiet Room: Allow the child to complete lengthy assignments and exams in a room free of distractions, such as a quiet room or resource room.
  6. Movement: Some children and teens may use movement or other self-stimulation to improve their focus. This might include doodling, using fidgets, humming, etc. If it is unintrusive to other students, allow the student to use this strategy.
  7. Noise-Cancelling Headphones: Permit the use of noise-cancelling headphones to reduce noise distractibility during individual work.
  8. Access to Recorded Materials: Provide access to recorded lectures, outlines, notes from peers/ teachers, or tools like a smartpen (e.g., LiveScribe) to review missed information.
  9. Use Engaging or Multimodal Learning Approaches: Provide highly engaging and varied learning approaches such as auditory, visual, and hands-on activities to maintain focus.
  10. Positive Reinforcement: Providing incentives, such as additional time on a preferred activity or special permission, can help increase motivation on non-preferred tasks.

I am a parent of an inattentive child, what strategies can I use at home?

  1. Shared Attention: Avoid giving instructions from across the room or while they are actively engrossed on a task. Make sure you are near them and making eye contact.
  2. Clear and Visual Instructions: Provide one instruction at a time. Make sure each instruction is short, simple and in words the child can understand. Refer to pictures or graphs to aid in task completion for routine tasks.
  3. Repetition and Reminders: Instructions and expectations will need to be repeated often. Reminders will be necessary to reinforce learning. Provide these in a neutral, non-judgemental tone.
  4. Frequent Check-ins: You will need to include more check-ins to make sure your child is on the right path when completing a task.
  5. Positive Reinforcement: Offer praise, encouragement, and rewards for efforts (not just accomplishments) to help boost the child’s motivation and self-esteem. Incentives, such as additional time on a preferred activity or special permission, can help increase motivation on tasks that are long and arduous.
  6. Dedicated and Quiet Workspace: Set up a quiet workspace for your child at home away from the busy areas of your home (for example facing a blank wall, not near the TV). Noise-cancelling headphones can help with auditory distractions.
  7. Limit Screen Time: Although excessive screen time does not cause inattention, it can contribute to distractibility and being unmotivated to work on difficult tasks. Set reasonable limits on screen time and encourage breaks from electronic devices.
  8. Encourage Physical Activity: Incorporate regular physical activities or exercise into the child’s routine. Exercise can help reduce restlessness and improve focus.
  9. Practice sleep hygiene: Make sure your child or teen goes to bed within the same 30-minute window of time every night. Shut off electronics 1 hour before bed.
  10. Healthy Eating: Make sure your child has a balanced diet. Breakfast appears to be the most important meal in terms of cognitive abilities and some research suggests that a high protein breakfast (e.g., eggs or meat) is best for attention and learning in children.

Does everyone who have inattention have ADHD?

No. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – including inattentive type, hyperactive type and combined type – is a neurodevelopmental disorder. Meaning that it arises due to brain differences that occur in the perinatal or early childhood period. Most often, the brain develops differently because of the person’s genes and gene interaction with the environment. For this reason, you might hear of terms such as neurodiversity or neuroatypicality when discussing ADHD. If inattention is present after this early period in the brain development, it is typically acquired (for example due to a medical condition, or head injury) or can arise as a response to stress, trauma, and mental health disorders. Although experts are divided on this issue, this is not true ADHD. Aquired or later life inattention symptoms can nevertheless significantly impact functioning and deserve to be treated with the same tools as those available for ADHD.

Inattention refers to the difficulty in maintaining focus, staying on task, or being easily distracted, often leading to trouble completing assignments or following instructions. It can manifest as a core symptom in conditions like attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) but may also occur independently due to various factors such as stress, fatigue, or health conditions.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon provides online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

PERFECTIONISM: SIGNS, RISKS, & STRATEGIES TO COPE

PERFECTIONISM: SIGNS, RISKS, & STRATEGIES TO COPE

“I’m not a perfectionist. If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.” – Margaret Atwood

We can all agree that issues like depression or anxiety are problematic. But perfection is trickier—mainly because so many people seem to achieve it all around us every day. 

If you’re like most people, you spend hours each day scrolling through curated snapshots of people’s most perfectly curated moments. It makes you wonder: perfectionist tendencies can’t really be so terrible for you, can they? Actually, they can. 

Let’s get clear on what perfectionism is, how you can spot it, and what you can do to address it. Here’s what you need to know. 

What Is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a personality trait that goes beyond setting high standards for oneself; it’s an intense drive to meet these standards, often tying one’s self-worth to them. And while many conflate perfection with excellence, there’s a stark difference between the two. 

Excellence is a commendable pursuit of being above average, fostering personal growth. Conversely, perfectionism sets the bar so high that anything less than perfect becomes intolerable, even breeding feelings of inferiority or self-loathing. 

There are three subtypes of perfectionism. 

1) Self-Oriented Perfectionism

Self-oriented perfectionism is best understood as an internal pressure to be flawless. Those who exhibit this trait set sky-high standards for themselves accompanied by a severe sense of self-criticism and negative self-talk. 

Failing to meet personal standards, especially in critical situations, can lead to a barrage of self-deprecating thoughts like, “What were you thinking, you idiot?” or “How could you make such a mistake? You’re a failure!” 

A striking example of self-oriented perfectionism at work was during the 2008 Miami Open. In a moment of intense self-frustration, competitor Mikhail Youzhny hit himself violently with his racquet after missing a shot. 

2) Socially Prescribed Perfectionism

Socially prescribed perfectionism stems from the belief that society expects you to be flawless. These perfectionists are likely to experience daily feelings of inferiority, shame, and resentment. 

One study highlights a 40% increase in socially prescribed perfectionism since the 1980s, particularly among young adults. This is no doubt thanks to the unyielding barrage of “perfect” lives on social media coupled with mounting pressures to achieve in work and school. 

Socially prescribed perfectionism is particularly alarming due to its strong correlation with negative mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety.

3) Other-Oriented Perfectionism

Other-oriented perfectionism involves projecting one’s own perfectionistic tendencies onto others. A classic example is what’s commonly referred to as tiger parenting, where parents set exceedingly high expectations for their children. 

People with this trait can be outspoken about their expectations and quick to point out when things deviate from their envisioned plan. It’s akin to what Freud described as “projection,” where one’s internal drive for perfection is externalized. 

A notable figure often associated with this trait is Steve Jobs, whose impossible standards were not just for himself but also for those around him.

What Are The Signs of Perfectionism?

While often masked as a commendable trait, perfectionism can manifest in various behaviors that might hinder personal growth and well-being. Recognizing these perfectionist habits is the first step towards understanding and managing this complex trait. 

  • Procrastination – Delaying tasks for fear of not achieving perfection and then spending excessive time on the task once started. 
  • Difficulty Recognizing When To Stop – Continuously adjusting or redoing tasks in pursuit of the “perfect” result.
  • Avoidance – Avoiding new experiences or challenges due to fear of not being perfect.
  • Overreaction To Mistakes – Magnifying the significance of errors, leading to excessive self-criticism or guilt.
  • Not Giving Your Best Effort – Withholding effort in challenging situations to protect one’s image.
  • Excessive Self-Criticism – Harshly judging oneself for not meeting high standards.
  • High Sensitivity To Criticism – Perceiving feedback or constructive criticism as a personal attack.
  • All-Or-Nothing Thinking – Viewing situations in black and white, with no middle ground.

Procrastination

One of the paradoxical signs of perfectionist thinking is procrastination. While perfectionists are often seen as diligent and hardworking, the intense fear of not meeting their own high standards can lead them to delay or even avoid tasks. 

This avoidance is not due to laziness but rather an overwhelming fear of potential failure or criticism.

Avoidance 

The fear of imperfection can be so intense that it deters perfectionists from trying new things altogether. They might avoid new experiences, tasks, or challenges because the uncertainty of the outcome feels threatening. 

Overreaction to Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, but even minor errors can feel catastrophic for perfectionists. They tend to magnify the significance of their mistakes, leading to excessive self-criticism, guilt, and even shame. This heightened sensitivity can hinder their ability to bounce back from setbacks.

What Are The Risks Of Perfectionism?

Literature and cinema have long highlighted the risks of unchecked perfectionism. Just look at Gatsby’s obsession with an idealized past or the haunting narratives of films like “Black Swan” and “The Prestige,” and you’ll see that perfectionist thinking comes with an immense cost. 

Some documented risks of perfectionism include: 

  • Damaged Self-Esteem – Continually failing to meet one’s own lofty and unrealistic expectations can chip away at one’s self-esteem. Perfectionists often experience large fluctuations in self-esteem tied to their perceived sense of accomplishment. 
  • Frequent Frustration – The constant chase for perfection often leads to recurring feelings of disappointment and frustration. Rarely do perfectionists feel good about their accomplishments.
  • Poor Performance – The paralyzing fear of imperfection can result in avoiding tasks, leading to extreme procrastination and, eventually, poor work or school performance. Avoidance can also show up in other areas of performance such as in athletes, parental roles, and relationships.
  • Diminishing Productivity – Ironically, while perfectionists are known for their hard work, they often push themselves to the brink of diminishing returns. Their lives can feel like an endless race on a relentless treadmill.
  • Depression & Anxiety – One study focused on college students demonstrated that both adaptive and maladaptive forms of perfectionism are linked to increased symptoms of depression and anxiety. The act of rumination, or continuously mulling over distress, was identified as a significant factor in this relationship.

How To Overcome Perfectionism?

Overcoming perfectionism isn’t just about letting go; it’s about embracing a new way of thinking. Here are some tips for addressing perfectionism head-on. 

  1. Awareness Of Procrastination 

Identifying procrastination patterns is the first step to addressing underlying fears and taking proactive steps to move forward. Try to recognize when you’re delaying tasks out of fear of imperfection. 

  1. Monitoring Your Critical Voice

Tune into your inner dialogue. If you find yourself constantly self-criticizing or setting unrealistic standards, challenge those thoughts. Replace them with more balanced and compassionate self-talk. Try a mantra like, “everybody makes mistakes, I’m no different.” 

  1. Tolerating Mistakes

Understand that mistakes are a natural part of growth and learning. Instead of dwelling on errors, focus on the lessons they offer. Accept failures as stepping stones to success. Over time, you’ll retrain your brain to have a growth mindset rather than an all-or-nothing mindset. 

  1. Engaging In Self-Care

Perfectionists are notorious for working late nights, skipping meals, and putting their basic needs aside to achieve their goals. Whether it’s taking breaks, engaging in hobbies, or simply getting adequate sleep, combat the stresses of perfectionism by making time for self-care. 

  1. Embracing Mindfulness

Focusing on the ‘now’ lets you let go of past mistakes and future anxieties, allowing you to approach tasks with a clear mind. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help ground you in the present moment and let go of the fear of failure. 

Does Psychotherapy Help Treat Perfectionism?

Psychotherapy is a valuable tool in addressing and managing perfectionistic tendencies. If you or a loved one is experiencing the debilitating effects of perfectionism, here are two forms of psychotherapy that may be able to help. 

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) 

CBT helps individuals identify the patterns of their perfectionistic thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. Once these patterns are recognized, CBT techniques assist in challenging and reframing these often irrational beliefs. 

For instance, the belief that “anything less than perfect is a failure” can be restructured to “doing my best is good enough.”

CBT also introduces behavioral strategies to break the cycle of perfectionistic actions. This might include setting realistic goals, practicing self-compassion, or confronting rather than avoiding tasks that trigger perfectionistic tendencies.

Family Therapy 

Perfectionism in young people can sometimes have its roots in family dynamics. Family therapy delves into these origins, exploring patterns, expectations, and interactions that might contribute to an individual’s perfectionistic behaviors.

This collective approach ensures that the family becomes a supportive environment, promoting healthier beliefs and behaviors. Family therapy can also equip family members with communication tools to express their expectations in more constructive ways, reducing pressures that might feed into perfectionistic tendencies.

Through Leon Psychology Clinic’s virtual psychotherapy services, our clinical psychologists can work together to unravel the layers of perfectionism. You can access perfectionism therapy with licensed mental health professionals from the comfort of your home with the convenience of fully virtual sessions. 

Explore online adult psychotherapy services and online adolescent psychotherapy services and start your journey toward overcoming perfectionism today. 

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the difference between OCD and perfectionism? 

While both Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and perfectionism involve intense desires for order and precision, they stem from different motivations and manifest differently:

  • OCD is a mental health disorder characterized by unwanted repetitive thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions) that individuals feel driven to perform. The compulsions are often carried out to alleviate the distress caused by the obsessions. For example, someone with OCD might repeatedly check if the door is locked due to an irrational fear of a break-in.
  • Perfectionism, on the other hand, is a personality trait where individuals set excessively high standards for themselves. The drive to achieve these standards is often tied to their self-esteem. A perfectionist might re-read an email multiple times before sending to ensure it’s “just right,” not necessarily due to a specific fear but because they want it to be perfect.

What are the signs and symptoms of a perfectionist? 

Perfectionists often exhibit a range of behaviors and thought patterns, including:

  • Procrastination: Delaying tasks due to fear of not doing them perfectly.
  • Reluctance to Delegate: Believing that only they can do tasks to the required standard.
  • High Sensitivity to Criticism: Taking feedback personally or viewing it as a direct attack on their abilities.
  • All-or-Nothing Thinking: Viewing situations in black and white, with no middle ground.
  • Excessive Self-Criticism: Engaging in harsh self-judgment when standards aren’t met.
  • Avoidance: Steering clear of new challenges or experiences due to fear of not being perfect.

Are there any helpful affirmations for perfectionists? 

Affirmations can be a powerful tool for reshaping thought patterns. Here are some affirmations tailored for perfectionists:

  • “I am enough just as I am.”
  • “Progress is more important than perfection.”
  • “I release the need for approval and embrace my authentic self.”
  • “Mistakes are a natural part of growth and learning.”
  • “I am worthy of love and acceptance, regardless of my achievements.”
  • “I choose to focus on my strengths and celebrate my victories, no matter how small.”
  • “Perfection is not the path to happiness; being true to myself is.”

Can children and adolescents show perfectionism traits too? 

Yes. Perfectionism can start early but is usually most recognizable in pre-teen and teenage years. Children and teens with parents who have perfectionistic traits themselves or who are very focused on performance (usually academic or in sports) are most likely to develop and show these traits early.

Perfectionism can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and a fear of failure, impacting mental well-being and hindering productivity. Seeking support through therapy, practicing self-compassion, and setting realistic goals rather than pursuing flawless outcomes can help manage perfectionism, fostering a healthier mindset and promoting personal growth.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

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ADHD IN CHILDREN: 10 TIPS FOR REACHING THEIR FULL POTENTIAL

Unlock your child’s true potential with expert guidance on navigating ADHD in children. Discover effective strategies for helping your child thrive.

ADHD IN CHILDREN: 10 TIPS FOR REACHING THEIR FULL POTENTIAL

Raising kids and teens can be quite an adventure, filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. But when your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), the journey can come with unique challenges. That’s why I created this guide for parents on navigating ADHD in children and helping them reach their full potential.

ADHD is more than just a phase or a temporary difficulty—it’s a condition that affects millions of children and teens worldwide. But by providing the right tools, strategies, and support, you can make a tremendous difference in your child’s development and help them thrive.

What Is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)?

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (sometimes called attention-deficit disorder or ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by difficulty with inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsive behaviour. It’s estimated that 5-9% of children and 3-5% of adults have ADHD. One of the primary difficulties associated with ADHD is cognitive functioning, which affects a person’s thinking and reasoning.

The cognitive difficulties associated with ADHD can be divided into two main areas: executive functioning and attention/working memory.

Executive functioning

Executive functioning involves the ability to plan and organize, set goals, and regulate emotions. People with ADHD often have difficulty in these areas, making it hard for them to manage their daily activities and get tasks completed.

Attention and working memory

Attention and working memory (the ability to hold information in your mind for a brief period) are also affected in those with ADHD. This can lead to symptoms like:

  • being easily distracted
  • difficulty following directives
  • trouble completing tasks

Other cognitive issues associated with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children 

Other cognitive issues that those with ADHD may experience include difficulty recognizing patterns, problem-solving, and understanding abstract concepts. These difficulties can make it difficult for those with ADHD to do well in school and maintain social relationships.

ADHD Symptoms In Children

Signs of inattention:

  • Does not follow rules or instructions
  • Loses materials/belongings
  • Difficulty starting and completing tasks
  • Avoid tasks that require sustained effort
  • Gets easily distracted by self or others
  • Appears to have trouble with memory (forgetful)
  • Seems not to listen when spoken to
  • Makes careless mistakes

Talk to your child’s teacher if you notice six or more of these common symptoms. If they have detected them, too, it is recommended to get your child assessed for ADHD. Remember that some children with ADHD, particularly girls, present without impulsive symptoms or hyperactivity.

Signs & Symptoms Of Hyperactivity In Children

Signs of hyperactivity are more noticeable than signs of inattention. Teachers and school counselors are the ones who typically see it firsthand due to the demands of classroom environments. However, kids vary in their level of activity and level of maturity.

  • Very active, high energy, ‘driven by a motor’
  • Interrupting others, having trouble with social skills, and talking too much
  • Can’t wait in line or their turn when playing
  • Prone to being clumsy and having accidents
  • Squirm, fidget, pace
  • Difficulty staying silent or calm
  • Wanders and gets up constantly

When assessing hyperactivity, I always urge parents and teachers to determine if the activity/impulsivity is indeed above and beyond what a typical child would display at that age.

If you and your child’s teacher notice these signs, it is recommended to get your child assessed for ADHD.

10 Tips For Parents Managing Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder In Children

As a parent, controlling essential environmental factors at home is key. If you can help your children with ADHD live a healthy lifestyle under your roof, then you can set them up to become happy, functioning adults later in life. 

Establish a strong home routine. 

Consistency is key for children with ADHD. Create a structured daily routine with set times for waking up, meals, homework, chores, and bedtime. Having a predictable schedule can provide a sense of stability and help children stay focused.

Create an organized environment. 

Reduce distractions by organizing the child’s living space. Use storage bins, labels, and color-coding systems to keep things tidy and easily accessible. Minimize clutter and create a designated study area with minimal distractions.

Break tasks into smaller steps. 

Large tasks can be overwhelming for children with ADHD. Break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. Provide clear instructions and use visual aids or checklists to help them stay on track.

Use visual reminders. 

Visual cues can be helpful for children with ADHD to remember tasks and responsibilities. Utilize visual schedules, calendars, or timers to help them stay organized and manage time effectively.

Provide frequent breaks. 

Children with ADHD often have difficulty sustaining focus and sit still for extended periods. Allow them to take short breaks during tasks or homework sessions. Encourage physical activity during these breaks to help release excess energy.

Encourage regular exercise. 

Physical activity has been shown to benefit individuals with ADHD. Encourage your child to exercise regularly or participate in sports, dancing, or martial arts, as it can help reduce hyperactivity and improve focus.

Implement behaviour management techniques. 

Positive reinforcement and reward systems can be effective in shaping desired behaviours. Offer praise, encouragement, and rewards for completing tasks, following instructions, or exhibiting self-control.

Limit screen time. 

Although television and video games do not cause ADHD, excessive screen time can take away from other important activities. It is important to establish reasonable limits on screen time and encourage other activities, such as reading, outdoor play, or hobbies that promote engagement and focus.

Foster open communication. 

Maintain open lines of communication with your child. Listen to their concerns, frustrations, and triumphs. Work together to problem-solve and find strategies that work best for them.

Seek professional support. 

Consider involving professionals, such as therapists, psychologists, or support groups, who specialize in working with children with ADHD. They can provide guidance, coping strategies, and additional resources to support your child’s development. 

What About Medication For ADHD?

Research suggests that a combination of psychotherapy and medication is the best approach to ADHD. It appears that starting psychotherapy first can be most beneficial.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that, by definition, presents with cognitive and behavioral symptoms from early childhood. Although symptoms often decrease in severity in adulthood, they tend to remain throughout life.

Nevertheless, with proper diagnosis, treatment, and support, children (and eventually adults) with ADHD can learn to recognize their strengths and gain self-understanding to help them lead productive and meaningful lives.

Can Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Help With ADHD?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), a form of psychotherapy that focuses on how thoughts and beliefs influence behaviour, can help children and adolescents with ADHD. The goal of CBT and behavioral treatments may include strategies to organize their materials, plan their work, and set reminders. Setting up the home environment to support children and teens with ADHD also helps with behavioral interventions.

Parents of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are usually recommended to develop and maintain consistent routines at home. They are also encouraged to model explicit organizational skills and strategies, such as a family planner or calendar.

Can ADHD Cause Emotional Issues?

ADHD can also cause a range of emotional issues, such as difficulty controlling anger and frustration, anxiety disorders, conduct disorders, and low mood. Therefore, it is important for individuals with ADHD to be aware of their emotional responses and to develop strategies to manage them.

Therapy is recommended for children with ADHD who suffer from emotional and mood disorders. During therapy, the psychotherapist or psychologist works with the patient to identify and challenge negative or automatic thoughts that may be contributing to their symptoms.

Through this process, the therapist helps the patient learn to reframe their thoughts in a more positive and helpful manner, identify triggers for their symptoms, as well as techniques for managing their emotions. Self-regulation skills can include deep breathing, mindfulness, physical activity, pleasurable activities, or sensory activities.

Risks Associated With Untreated ADHD In Children 

Allowing children with ADHD to go untreated can have several potential risks and negative consequences. 

Academic difficulties

ADHD can significantly impact a child’s academic performance. Inattention, impulsivity, and difficulties with organization can make it challenging for them to concentrate, complete assignments, and follow instructions in the classroom. Eventually, symptoms can lead to falling behind in school, lower grades, and decreased academic achievement.

Social and relationship challenges

Children with untreated ADHD may struggle with social interactions and forming positive peer relationships. Their impulsive behaviours, difficulty with turn-taking, and inattentiveness can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and social isolation. Unfortunately, these struggles can negatively affect their self-esteem and overall social development.

Emotional and mental health issues

ADHD is sometimes accompanied by emotional and mental health challenges. Children with untreated ADHD may experience increased frustration, anger, and irritability due to their difficulties with impulse control and managing emotions. They may also be at higher risk for developing anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

Risk-taking behaviour

Sometimes, children and teens with untreated ADHD can engage in impulsive and risky behaviours. Children with ADHD may engage in dangerous activities without considering the consequences, leading to accidents or injuries. Teens in particular may also be more prone to experimenting with substances, as impulsivity and thrill-seeking behaviours increase the likelihood of engaging in risky behaviours.

Long-term impact

If left untreated for too long, childhood ADHD can have long-term effects throughout life. The difficulties experienced in childhood can persist into adolescence and adulthood, impacting academic and career success, relationships, and overall quality of life. Untreated ADHD may also increase the risk of developing comorbid mental health conditions, such as anxiety disorders or substance use disorders.

Get Help: Neuropsychology Intervention

Are you ready to take the next step in supporting your child with ADHD? Dr. Leon is an experienced pediatric neuropsychologist. Explore our online neuropsychological intervention services today and discover the transformative impact they can have on your child’s life.

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Frequently Asked Questions 

I have ADHD. Will my child have ADHD? 

ADHD is highly hereditary (meaning it often occurs in families). Parents with ADHD are 40% more lilely to have a child of ADHD.

Can ADHD symptoms change as a child grows older? 

ADHD symptoms can evolve as a child matures. While hyperactivity may decrease with age, inattention and impulsivity can persist into adolescence and adulthood. Be sure to monitor and adapt strategies at home to address changing needs.

Are there any specific parenting techniques or strategies that can help children with ADHD? 

Several parenting techniques can benefit children with ADHD. These include establishing clear rules and expectations, using positive reinforcement, providing structure and routine, breaking tasks into manageable steps, and promoting open communication. Consider exploring parent consultation services to learn more. 

How can I effectively communicate with my child’s teachers about their ADHD and support their educational needs? 

Share information about your child’s ADHD diagnosis, discuss their strengths and challenges, and collaborate on strategies to support their learning in the classroom. Regular check-ins, progress updates, and an individualized education plan (IEP) can facilitate effective communication and support.

Are there any dietary or lifestyle changes that can help ADHD management in children? 

While no specific diet has been proven to cure ADHD, some evidence suggests that a balanced diet rich in omega 3s, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins is best for brain health. Additionally, regular exercise, adequate sleep, and low-stress can contribute to overall well-being and can minimize the impact of ADHD symptoms. Consulting with a healthcare professional or a registered dietitian can provide personalized guidance.

You can support ADHD kids by establishing clear routines and structures to help them stay organized and focused, breaking tasks into manageable steps with regular breaks to avoid overwhelm. Utilizing positive reinforcement and praising their efforts to boost confidence and motivation, while also employing strategies like visual aids, timers, and frequent check-ins to help them stay on track and manage their time effectively is also crucial. Finally, encourage their interests and strengths, fostering a supportive environment that celebrates their accomplishments and provides outlets for their creativity and energy.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology and neuropsychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

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8 WAYS TO PROMOTE GOOD SLEEP HYGIENE FOR KIDS

8 WAYS TO PROMOTE GOOD SLEEP HYGIENE FOR KIDS

We all know how crucial a good night’s sleep is for children’s growth and well-being. In this blog post, we’ll explore practical strategies to establish a solid sleep routine and create a sleep-friendly environment for your little ones. 

Here’s what parents need to know about promoting positive sleep hygiene for kids. (Bonus: these tips work well for grown-ups, too!) 

What Is Sleep Hygiene? 

Sleep hygiene refers to a set of healthy sleeping habits that enables children and adolescents to fall asleep more quickly and can enhance sleep duration and quality. Without good sleep hygiene, children can experience sleep issues, including difficulty falling asleep, frequent night wakings, and waking up too early.

What Are The Side Effects Of Poor Sleep Hygiene In Children? 

If your child suffers from sleepless nights, you may have noticed some less than ideal side-effects. Research shows that not getting enough sleep can cause:

  • Daytime sleepiness
  • Behavioral issues (irritability, mood swings, temper tantrums)
  • Reduced cognitive functioning (memory, attention, problem-solving)
  • Physical health problems (weakened immune function, obesity)
  • Emotional disturbances (anxiety, mood disturbances, symptoms of depression)
  • Impaired growth and development
  • Increased risk of accidents
  • Difficulty concentrating and learning
  • Academic performance decline
  • Higher susceptibility to illnesses and infections
  • Impaired decision-making abilities

8 Ways To Establish Good Sleep Hygiene In Children

Consistency and routine are key in establishing sleep hygiene. Here are recommendations to help your child get better sleep:

  1. Maintain a consistent bedtime. 

Maintaining a consistent bedtime is a key factor in promoting healthy sleep habits for children. Our bodies have a natural internal clock, known as the circadian rhythm, which regulates our sleep-wake cycle. 

When we establish a regular bedtime routine and stick to it, we help synchronize this internal clock, making it easier for our kids to fall asleep and wake up at the desired times.

To optimize the effectiveness of a consistent bedtime, aim for a window of around 30 minutes. 

  1. Get plenty of exercise during the day. 

Between computers, television, and cell phones, many kids and teens don’t get sufficient regular physical activity. 

Make sure your child is physically active (getting out of breath) at least 15 minutes per day. 

Stuck inside because of the weather? Make an effort to turn off the TV and cellphones and get moving. Race inside the halls of your home, practice cartwheels and handstands, go walk in a mall, anything to get your kids moving. 

  1. Spend time outside. 

Incorporating outdoor time into your child’s daily routine can have a positive impact on their sleep hygiene. Aim for at least 30 minutes of outdoor playtime each day, preferably during daylight hours. 

Whether it’s a walk in the park, playing in the backyard, or participating in outdoor sports or activities, encourage your child to spend time outside and soak up the natural light.

Even on cloudy or snowy days, sunlight still filters through the clouds and provides beneficial rays. When we spend time outdoors, our eyes receive natural light, which stimulates the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that promotes wakefulness and positive mood. 

This exposure to sunlight during the day helps reinforce our natural circadian rhythm, making it easier for our bodies to distinguish between day and night.

  1. Bedtime should be boring! 

Creating a relaxing bedtime routine is crucial in preparing your child’s body and mind for sleep. The concept of “bedtime should be boring” emphasizes the need to avoid stimulating or exciting activities close to bedtime, as they can interfere with the natural transition to sleep.

Consider incorporating the following into your child’s bedtime routine: 

  • Soft, relaxing music
  • Reading age-appropriate books 
  • Relaxing sensory activities, such as puzzles, drawing, coloring, or engaging with sensory toys like stress balls or squishy toys 
  1. Never underestimate the sleeping environment. 

Creating a dark and soothing sleep environment is crucial for promoting quality sleep in children. Removing sources of light, such as electronics and alarm clocks, and investing in blackout curtains can help create a conducive atmosphere. 

While a dim night light may provide comfort, minimizing exposure to electronic devices and incorporating calming elements like white noise machines or fans can enhance the sleep environment. 

Prioritizing a dark and peaceful setting helps signal to the child’s body that it’s time for rest, improving their sleep quality.

  1. Night wakings. 

If your child/teen is unable to fall asleep at bedtime or during the night for more than 45 minutes, encourage them to get up, stretch or do something boring until you feel sufficiently sleepy. No electronics! Lights should remain dimmed.

It is recommended that night lights be 2000 kelvins or less (i.e., the light should be of red-yellow hue, warmth is measured in kelvins) and 50 lumens or lower (lumens is a measurement of how much light the bulb gives off).

  1. Relaxation techniques. 

Learn and practice together relaxing strategies to help reduce tension before sleep, such as meditation, mindfulness exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation. My favorite is the happy place visualization technique.

  1. Address mental health issues. 

Anxiety and depression are known to interfere with sleep, make sure these are being addressed in child psychotherapy or adolescent psychotherapy.

Things To Avoid For Healthy Sleep Hygiene 

  1. Caffeine in the afternoon or later. Be aware that caffeine is present in coffee and tea but also in sodas and chocolate (and most Starbucks drinks!)
  2. Sending your child to bed with a full stomach or full bladder. Digestion and having to use the washroom can disrupt your child’s sleep. Late night snacking might be a cue that the body is tired rather than hungry.
  3. High intensity exercise or hot baths right before bed. Research shows that the body temperature must be cool to feel comfortable falling asleep. However, light exercise and a warm shower or bath right before bedtime can help some individuals relax. Experiment with what works best for your child.
  4. Electronics at least 30 minutes before bed. This includes the computer, tablet, phone, and TV. If listening to music, make sure not to look at the screen. 
  5. Checking the time, as this may create more anxiety. Make sure your child or teen’s alarm clock face is turned away so that they’re not constantly checking the time. 
  6. Sleep trackers should be used with caution. For some teens, it can create more anxiety knowing they didn’t spend sufficient time in deep sleep. Focusing on ”feeling refreshed” might be a better metric.

If Ongoing Sleep Issues Persist

Of note, if your child continues to have difficulty with sleep despite implementing the above suggestions, you should talk to your family doctor to rule-out medical issues, such as obstructive sleep apnea. Your family doctor can also recommend supplements to help with sleep (like melatonin or magnesium) if needed.

Parent Consultations For Bedtime Solution: Parent Consultations

If you’re struggling with specific sleep issues or need personalized guidance in forming effective bedtime routines for your child, Dr. Leon can help. Each session includes expert advice and tailored strategies to address your child’s unique needs. 

Prioritize your child’s sleep health and schedule a parent consultation today to unlock the secrets to better bedtime routines and improved sleep for the whole family. 

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Frequently Asked Questions

How much sleep do children need at different ages? 

The recommended sleep durations vary by age. On average, preschoolers (3-5 years) need 10-13 hours, school-age children (6-12 years) require 9-12 hours, and teenagers (13-18 years) should aim for 8-10 hours of sleep per night.

Are there any specific bedtime routines that can help promote better sleep? 

Yes, establishing a consistent bedtime routine can be highly beneficial. A bedtime routine might include activities like a warm bath, reading a book, listening to calming music, or engaging in relaxation exercises. The key is to choose activities that promote relaxation and signal to the child that it’s time to wind down and prepare for sleep.

How can I create a sleep-friendly environment in my child’s bedroom? 

To create a sleep-friendly environment, ensure the bedroom is dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Remove or minimize sources of light, use blackout curtains or blinds, and consider using white noise machines to block out disruptive sounds. Keep the bedroom free from electronics and ensure a comfortable mattress and bedding.

What strategies can I use to address bedtime resistance and ensure my child falls asleep easily?

To address bedtime resistance, establish a consistent sleep schedule, set clear expectations and boundaries, and gradually adjust the routine if needed. Create a calming bedtime routine, provide comfort and reassurance, and limit stimulating activities close to bedtime. If the resistance persists, consult with a pediatrician or sleep specialist for further guidance and support.

You can promote good sleep hygiene for kids by establishing a consistent bedtime routine that includes calming activities like reading or gentle music, helping signal their bodies it’s time to wind down. Create a sleep-conducive environment by keeping their bedroom dark, cool, and comfortable, limiting screen time before bed, and ensuring they get enough physical activity during the day to support restful sleep. Encourage regular sleep schedules, aiming for age-appropriate amounts of sleep each night to promote better overall health, mood, and cognitive function.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

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CHILDHOOD CONCUSSIONS 101: THE ULTIMATE PARENT’S GUIDE

Learn what concussions are, how they affect children, steps for prevention, and tips for supporting recovery.

CHILDHOOD CONCUSSIONS 101: THE ULTIMATE PARENT’S GUIDE

As parents, we know that children and teens are naturally curious and full of energy, which can sometimes lead to accidents. Whether it’s during contact sports and collision sports activities, playground adventures, biking, or even everyday mishaps, head injuries such as concussions can occur.

In this guide, I’ll walk you through the fundamental aspects of childhood concussions, from understanding what they are and how they occur to recognizing the signs and symptoms. I’ll also provide expert advice on prevention strategies to lower the risk of concussion and share valuable insights into the recovery process. 

What Is A Concussion?

A concussion is a mild brain injury that occurs when the brain experiences a sudden jolt, blow, or impact. It typically results from a direct hit to the head, face, neck, or body that causes the brain to move rapidly within the skull. Think of the brain as a squishy fish in a very small round tank (skull) who is being shaken.

Indirect forces, such as whiplash-like movements or violent shaking of the head, can also cause concussions.

During a concussion, the impact disrupts the brain’s normal functioning, leading to various symptoms and temporary changes in brain function.

What Are Some Common Child And Teen Concussion Symptoms?

Doctors and healthcare providers can diagnose concussions based on the signs of concussion your child exhibits. Signs and symptoms of concussion might include:

  • Fatigue
  • Sensitivity to light and noise
  • Inattention & delayed reaction time
  • Difficulty with problem-solving
  • Memory and learning challenges
  • Dizziness & blurry vision
  • Headache
  • Vomiting
  • Getting frustrated or upset very quickly

All children should be monitored after a concussion, but most concussions do not require emergency treatment unless symptoms increase in severity (e.g., seizure, slurring of words) over the first few hours, in which case a trip to the hospital is necessary as it may indicate a more severe brain injury. 

Medical imaging techniques, including X-rays, CT scans, or MRI scans, may be necessary to diagnose injuries that go beyond a concussion.

How Long Do Symptoms Of A Concussion In Children Last?

Concussion symptoms typically last from a few days to a few months, and interestingly, the severity of the hit does not always correlate with the intensity or duration of symptoms.

Even seemingly minor head impacts, like a fall during a leisurely walk, can lead to a concussion. At the same time, more significant incidents, such as car accidents, may result in a milder injury. 

Unfortunately, the factors that predict the severity and duration of symptoms are still not well understood.

So it’s essential to note that despite a child appearing and feeling back to normal, they may still experience subtle cognitive inefficiencies, indicating that the recovery process can still be ongoing.

How To Protect Your Child Against Concussions

Prevention is always better than cure. To minimize the risk of concussions in children, it’s crucial to take proactive measures and create a safe environment for their activities.

Here are some practical steps you can take.

Helmets: A Must-Have Gear

Always ensure your child wears a helmet when engaging in activities such as biking, skiing, roller skating, or any other activities faster than running speed. A proper helmet (right size and tighly tied) provide vital protection for the head and can significantly reduce the risk of concussions.

Buckle Up for Safety

Whether traveling in a car or participating in sports that involve vehicles, ensure your child always wears a seatbelt. Adjust the seatbelt according to their height to provide optimal protection and minimize the likelihood of head injuries in case of an accident. Always make sure that car seats are for the appropriate height and weight of the child.

Choosing Safer Activities

While adventure is essential for children’s growth, it’s advisable to steer them away from sports or activities with a high risk of concussions. Encourage them to engage in safer alternatives that still promote physical fitness and fun.

Supporting Recovery From Concussions In Children and Teens

My child has had a concussion. Now what? 

First, know that even the most cautious parents sometimes experience events out of their control that lead to a child’s concussion.

The good news is that most children will recover from their concussions without lasting effects. If your child has experienced a concussion, there are several steps you can take to aid their recovery and promote brain healing.

Reducing Sources of Stress

Concussions can diminish a child’s ability to cope with daily stress and impact their mental health. Identifying and reducing stressors in their environment can create a calmer and more supportive atmosphere for their recovery.

Addressing Mental Health

Concussion symptoms, such as irritability and difficulties with problem-solving, can make children more susceptible to mental health challenges. Promptly addressing any emerging mental health difficulties and seeking professional help when needed is crucial in ensuring their well-being.

Nurturing Positive Social Relationships

Encourage your child to engage in positive social interactions. Building and maintaining healthy relationships with family and friends can provide emotional support and aid in their recovery journey.

Prioritizing Sleep Hygiene

Adequate rest is essential for the healing process. Promote good sleep hygiene by establishing a consistent sleep routine and creating a comfortable sleep environment for your child.

Emphasizing a Balanced Diet

Proper nutrition plays a vital role in recovery. Ensure your child consumes a balanced diet rich in nutrients that support brain health, such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.

Regular Exercise

Engaging in regular exercise can contribute to overall well-being and aid in the recovery process. Encourage your child to participate in age-appropriate physical activities, as recommended by their healthcare provider.

Avoiding Alcohol, Smoking, and Drugs

If you have a teen at home who has suffered from a concussion, then it’s more important than ever to enforce a strict no alcohol and drugs policy. Alcohol, tobacco, and drug use can have detrimental effects on the healing process. It’s crucial to create a substance-free environment for your child during their recovery from a concussion. Also be mindful of second-hand smoke.

Mental Health, Stress, And Concussions

Concussions can reduce your child’s ability to deal with daily stress and affect their mental health. Concussion symptoms such as irritability and trouble with problem-solving can make your child more vulnerable to stress.

Although the exact link is still poorly understood, children who have had concussions are also more likely to experience suicidal ideation.

Therefore, reducing stressors and focusing on pacing can be beneficial. Pacing refers to becoming attuned to cognitive (mental) fatigue and ensuring that the child is never overexerting themselves (which can result in meltdowns or panic-like symptoms) but rather working at a steady and somewhat slower pace with plenty of breaks and rest.

The Dangers of Second Impact Syndrome

If your child has had a concussion, then you should also know about the lasting effects of brain injuries, including Second Impact Syndrome. There are several potential risks associated with sustaining a second concussion within a two-year period of time after the initial concussion.

Such occurrences can lead to more severe symptoms and long-lasting effects. In extremely rare circumstances, a second concussion can cause the brain to lose its ability to regulate pressure which then triggers the brain to swell and get crushed against the skull resulting in death or severe impairment.

This alarming condition, known as “second impact syndrome,” underscores the significance of safeguarding your child’s brain health, especially after a concussion.

Ensure A Smooth & Complete Concussion Recovery: Neuropsychology Intervention

If you find yourself in need of professional support and intervention for your child’s neuropsychology needs following a concussion, we encourage you to book an appointment. Dr. Leon’s expertise and specialized care can make a positive difference in your child’s recovery journey.

Take the next step towards ensuring the best possible outcomes for your child, and explore our neuropsychology intervention services today. Your child’s future health and well-being are worth it!

Read These Next

If you’re looking to delve deeper into the topic of concussions in children, consider exploring the following resources.

Frequently Asked Questions 

What are the potential long-term effects of childhood concussions? 

While most children recover fully from concussions, there can be potential for short- to moderate-term effects, such as difficulties with attention, memory, learning, and emotional regulation. Long-term effects can happen in those with a history of prior concussions. Be sure to manage concussions properly and follow the recommended recovery process to minimize the risk of long-term effects.

How long does it typically take for a child to recover from a concussion? 

The recovery time for concussions varies for each child and depends on factors such as the severity of the injury and individual differences. Most children recover within a few weeks to a few months. However, some cases may take longer. The recovery process should be gradual, with appropriate rest and monitored progression.

Are there any specific activities or sports that pose a higher risk of concussions for children? 

Certain activities and sports carry a higher risk of concussions for children, such as contact sports like football, hockey, and soccer. Activities involving high-speed or impact, such as biking, skateboarding, and horseback riding, also pose risks. You cannot prevent all concussions, but ensure proper safety measures, such as using protective gear like helmets. Return-to-play guidelines should also be followed to minimize the risk of a repeat concussion.

Parents should closely monitor their child following a concussion, seeking immediate medical attention if any severe symptoms like loss of consciousness, seizures, or worsening headaches occur. After receiving medical clearance, it’s important to allow the child to rest both physically and cognitively, gradually reintroducing activities as symptoms improve and following the healthcare provider’s guidelines for returning to school and sports to prevent re-injury. It is also important that parents offer emotional support, patience, and understanding during the recovery process, ensuring the child feels supported while allowing ample time for full recuperation before resuming regular activities.

Dr. Stephanie Leon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online neuropsychology services through the Leon Psychology Clinic.

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