WHY DO CHILDREN LIE? UNDERSTANDING THE REASONS BEHIND THEIR DECEPTION

Publié le 7 novembre 202420 novembre 2024 par Dr. Stephanie Leon

WHY DO CHILDREN LIE? UNDERSTANDING THE REASONS BEHIND THEIR DECEPTION

It’s a common frustration for parents when they discover their child has lied. Children often lie for various reasons—whether to avoid punishment, gain attention, or due to their vivid imagination. While this behavior is a normal part of growing up, understanding the underlying motives can help parents respond in the most supportive way.

Recognizing why children lie provides insight into their feelings and needs. For example, a child might fib about finishing their homework to avoid parental nagging. By understanding these motives, parents can guide their children toward honesty in a way that nurtures trust rather than damaging it.

Parents might feel angry or hurt when they discover their child has lied, but it’s important to stay calm and handle the situation with care. Open conversations about honesty and the importance of telling the truth foster better communication and strengthen the parent-child bond. When parents understand the “why” behind the lie, they are in a better position to support their child in developing honest communication skills.

Understanding Child Psychology and Lying

Children’s reasons for lying are often tied to their developmental stage and social environment. As they mature, their understanding of truth and deception becomes more nuanced, and emotional and social factors also play a role in why they may choose to lie.

Cognitive Development and Truth-Telling

Cognitive development plays a significant role in a child’s ability to distinguish between truth and falsehood. In early childhood, children often struggle to differentiate between reality and fantasy. This stage, marked by “magical thinking,” can sometimes result in unintentional lies.

As children grow older, their ability to understand deception improves. By ages 4 or 5, many children can grasp that others have different thoughts and feelings—a cognitive milestone known as theory of mind. This understanding is crucial for learning about the consequences of lying.

At this age, it’s common for children to lie to avoid punishment or gain approval. Peer pressure can also contribute to dishonesty, as children begin to observe and mimic the behavior of adults and peers.

Emotional and Social Factors

Emotions significantly influence a child’s tendency to lie. Fear of disappointing parents, experiencing shame, or facing consequences may prompt a child to tell a lie. For instance, a child might lie about breaking a toy to avoid being scolded.

Social dynamics also play an essential role. As children interact with peers, they learn about social acceptance and may lie to fit in or appear more interesting. Attention-seeking behaviors, like exaggerating stories, can be common, particularly in social settings. Additionally, children may lie to protect someone else’s feelings, such as complimenting a friend’s artwork even if they don’t like it, showing empathy in these social contexts.

Understanding these emotional and social factors allows parents and caregivers to address the root causes of dishonesty and help children develop more honest communication habits.

Parental Responses

When a child lies, the consequences can vary, so it’s essential for parents to respond thoughtfully. Understanding the motivations behind the lie helps in guiding a constructive response that supports the child’s growth.

Effective Strategies for Addressing Lies

To address dishonesty, parents should foster open communication. Children need a safe environment to express themselves without fear of harsh judgment. Encouraging honesty through positive reinforcement is vital—praising children explicitly when they tell the truth can reinforce this behavior.

Another effective strategy involves discussing the reasons behind the lie. Asking questions to understand the feelings or circumstances that led to the dishonesty teaches empathy and helps the child understand the impact of their actions.

Setting clear expectations about honesty is equally important. Parents should explain why honesty is essential, what the consequences of lying are, and how truthful communication builds trust in relationships.

Additional Readings

HealthyChildren.org: When Your Child Lies This article highlight the importance of understanding the developmental stage of the child and offer strategies for addressing dishonesty without damaging the parent-child relationship. They stress the role of open communication and the need for consistent consequences.

Child Mind Institute: Why Kids Lie and How to Handle It Their articles discuss why children lie, what it means for their development, and how to address it through empathy, clear expectations, and reinforcing honesty.

Books:

The Whole-Brain Child by Dr. Daniel Siegel

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Demander de l'aide professionnelle

If you are struggling with your child’s lying, consider seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, specialized in treating children and adolescents.

Explorez les services de psychothérapie pour enfants virtuels et les services de psychothérapie pour adolescent virtuels at the Leon Psychology Clinic. Our psychologists can help you with managing your child’s challenging behaviours, including frequent lying.

Foire aux questions

– Why do children lie even when they know it’s wrong?

Children may lie to avoid consequences, gain attention, or protect their feelings. At times, they may not fully grasp the long-term consequences of dishonesty, especially when they are still learning about social dynamics and how others perceive their actions. Understanding their developmental stage helps parents respond appropriately.

– How can I encourage my child to be more honest?

To encourage honesty, create a safe space where your child feels comfortable expressing themselves without fear of harsh judgment. Praise truth-telling when it occurs, and use it as an opportunity to talk about the importance of honesty. Additionally, try to understand the reasons behind their lie by having calm, open discussions.

– Is it normal for a child to lie at a certain age?

Yes, it is completely normal for children to lie at various stages of development. Younger children often lie due to their vivid imagination or to avoid punishment. As they grow older, they begin to understand the social implications of their behavior, and lies may be motivated by peer pressure or the desire to fit in. Understanding these developmental milestones can help parents respond with patience and guidance.

En somme

Lying is a natural part of child development, and understanding the underlying reasons for it can help parents respond in a constructive way. Whether it’s to avoid punishment, gain approval, or fit in socially, each instance of dishonesty provides an opportunity to guide children toward honesty and self-expression. By fostering open communication, teaching empathy, and setting clear expectations, parents can help their children understand the value of truthfulness and build stronger, trusting relationships.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dre Leon est psychologue et neuropsychologue clinicienne qui pratique en Ontario et au Québec. Elle travaille avec les enfants, adolescents et adultes pour aborder les difficultés émotionnelles, comportementales et cognitives. Clinique de psychologie Léon

À propos de Dre Léon

REWARD CHARTS FOR POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT: WHAT NOT TO DO

Publié le 7 novembre 202420 novembre 2024 par Dr. Stephanie Leon

REWARD CHARTS FOR POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT: WHAT NOT TO DO

Imagine your child lighting up with pride as they place a sticker on their reward chart, feeling recognized for a job well done. Reward charts, sometimes called behavior charts, can be fantastic tools for reinforcing positive behaviors in children. When used effectively, these charts help children build habits like tidying up, following routines, or practicing kindness. However, without careful planning, they can lead to frustration for both caregivers and kids, sometimes undermining the very behaviors they’re meant to encourage.

This article explores common mistakes in using reward charts and behavior charts for positive reinforcement, helping caregivers maximize their effectiveness while avoiding common pitfalls. With the right approach, these positive reinforcement tools can support lasting behavioral growth and self-motivation in children.

10 Common Pitfalls

1. Using a Chart to Reinforce a Developing Skill

Positive reinforcement charts should be reserved for behaviors that a child is already capable of doing. They are not appropriate for teaching entirely new skills. A common example is potty training: parents might try using a chart, but if the child hasn’t yet demonstrated the ability to get to the toilet, sit, do their business, and get dressed independently, it’s too early for a reinforcement chart. A good rule of thumb is that the child should already perform the desired behavior successfully at least 25% of the time before introducing a behavior chart.

2. Introducing a Sticker Chart Too Early

Related to the first point, introducing a sticker chart prematurely, before natural reinforcers like praise and attention have been fully utilized, can be counterproductive. Caregiver attention and praise are the most powerful reinforcers. Parents should make a good effort to rely on these natural reinforcers before implementing a sticker chart.

3. Reinforcing an Already Established Behavior

Some caregivers worry that using reinforcement could make children dependent on external rewards. When done correctly, this shouldn’t be an issue. To avoid over-reliance on external rewards, it’s important to phase out or reduce reinforcers once the behavior is consistently successful (about 85% of the time). At this point, intrinsic motivation—such as personal values—should take over. Many behaviors, like brushing teeth, may not reach 100% consistency; occasional lapses are normal and not necessarily detrimental.

4. Choosing Rewards that Are Too Large

Reinforcers should be small (e.g., a sticker, a smiley face, staying up 10 minutes later, or a single gummy). If rewards are too large, they may reduce the child’s long-term motivation. For older children (5+), accumulating smaller tokens toward a larger reward (like a small toy, an extra movie night, or a special meal) can be effective without undermining intrinsic motivation.

5. Inconsistent Use of the Chart

Consistency is crucial for reinforcement charts to work effectively. If a caregiver sometimes rewards a behavior and other times ignores it, the child may become confused or less motivated. Consistency helps reinforce the connection between the behavior and the reward. Caregivers should be prepared to follow through every time a desired behavior occurs—especially when the chart is first introduced.

6. Not Phasing Out the Chart Gradually

When a child has shown they can perform the behavior consistently, it’s important to slowly phase out the chart rather than abruptly stopping. Gradual reduction (e.g., giving a sticker every few times instead of every single time) can help transition the child from needing external rewards to developing internal motivation. Abruptly stopping may cause a regression in behavior.

7. Focusing Too Much on the Chart

Sometimes, caregivers can become so focused on the chart itself that they inadvertently neglect the social interaction that’s meant to come with it. It’s important to couple the chart with genuine praise and connection, which enhances the child’s feeling of accomplishment. A reinforcement chart is a tool, not a replacement for positive engagement and encouragement.

8. Using the Chart for Too Many Behaviors

Reinforcement charts are most effective when they target a small number of specific behaviors, ideally one or two at a time. Overloading the chart with too many goals can overwhelm the child and dilute the chart’s effectiveness. Focusing on one specific behavior lets children understand what’s expected of them and makes the reward process simpler and more achievable.

9. Making Rewards Too Complex or Delayed

For younger children especially, rewards should be immediate or given on the same day to help them connect the reward with the behavior. Delayed rewards (like end-of-week prizes) can be too abstract for younger children, who may lose motivation. Instead, focus on small, immediate rewards and consider slightly longer reward intervals only as the child gets older and more capable of understanding delayed gratification.

10. Using the Chart as a Substitute for Teaching

Some caregivers may rely on a chart instead of teaching and modeling desired behaviors directly. For a behavior to truly become part of the child’s routine, it’s important to explain, model, and practice the behavior with the child. Reinforcement charts should supplement—not replace—active teaching, practice, and encouragement.

Additional Readings

Child Mind Institute guides cover topics like setting clear, age-appropriate goals, choosing the right rewards, and gradually phasing out external rewards as children build intrinsic motivation.

Parenting for Brain provides a deep dive into the psychology behind reward systems and reinforcement, discussing potential pitfalls and how to avoid undermining intrinsic motivation. Topics like “token economy” systems and chore charts are covered.

Understood.org offers specific advice on using behavior charts for children who may need additional support with focus, behavior, or impulse control. It includes practical advice on adjusting reward systems for different needs and settings, such as home and school.

Books:

The Whole-Brain Child by Dr. Daniel Siegel

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Demander de l'aide professionnelle

If you are struggling to set up or maintaining a positive behaviour chart, consider seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, specialized in treating children and adolescents.

Foire aux questions

– How long should I use a sticker chart for a specific behavior?

Sticker charts are meant to be temporary. Ideally, the chart should be phased out once the child is performing the behavior consistently, around 85% of the time. Gradually reducing the frequency of rewards will help the child shift from relying on external motivation to developing internal motivation.

– What if my child loses interest in the chart?

If your child loses interest, try assessing the reward type and consistency. Ensure that the rewards are meaningful to the child and that praise or small rewards are given promptly. You might also consider setting shorter-term goals to keep the child engaged, such as rewarding smaller steps toward the behavior instead of waiting for a long-term result.

– Can I use the chart to reduce unwanted behaviors?

Positive reinforcement charts are designed to increase positive behaviors, not directly reduce unwanted ones. For reducing undesired behaviors, focus on teaching and reinforcing alternative positive behaviors, like offering praise for using ”gentle hands” if the child tends to hit, rather than attempting to eliminate hitting directly with a chart.

En somme

Positive reinforcement charts can be powerful tools for encouraging desired behaviors in children when used thoughtfully and consistently. By avoiding common pitfalls—such as introducing the chart too early, using rewards that are too large, or relying too heavily on the chart—caregivers can maximize the effectiveness of positive reinforcement. Remember, the ultimate goal is to guide children toward intrinsic motivation, making them proud of their actions and helping them develop lasting, positive habits.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

À propos de Dre Léon

UNDERSTANDING CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENT ANXIETY: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS

COMPRENDRE L’ANXIÉTÉ CHEZ LES ENFANTS ET LES ADOLESCENTS : UN GUIDE POUR LES PARENTS

Publié le 29 janvier 20247 novembre 2024 par Dr. Stephanie Leon

COMPRENDRE L’ANXIÉTÉ CHEZ LES ENFANTS ET LES ADOLESCENTS : UN GUIDE POUR LES PARENTS

L’anxiété fait partie intégrante de la vie et, à petites doses, est utile. Cependant, lorsque l’anxiété devient excessive et persistante, elle peut avoir un impact significatif sur le bien-être et le fonctionnement quotidien d’un enfant ou d’un adolescent. En tant que parent, il est essentiel de connaître les différents types de troubles anxieux et leurs facteurs de risque pour le développement afin de reconnaître et de soutenir la santé mentale de votre enfant.

Trouble d'anxiété de séparation

Souvent observée chez les jeunes enfants, l’anxiété de séparation est une peur ou une inquiétude intense à l’idée d’être loin de son environnement familier, comme la maison, ou séparé de ses proches. Ils peuvent même éprouver de la détresse simplement en pensant ou en anticipant la séparation.

Cette anxiété peut se manifester par l’appât du gain, la réticence ou le refus de participer à des activités/soirées-école, une détresse excessive pendant les départs ou des inquiétudes persistantes au sujet d’être séparé de ses proches. L’anxiété de séparation peut même se manifester au coucher.

Un enfant qui éprouve de l’anxiété de séparation peut être visiblement bouleversé, pleurer ou supplier le fournisseur de soins de ne pas partir. Ils peuvent aussi présenter des symptômes physiques comme des maux d’estomac, des maux de tête ou des nausées lorsqu’ils anticipent une séparation (parfois plusieurs jours à l’avance).

De plus, ils peuvent chercher à se rassurer constamment ou être trop inquiets des dommages potentiels qu’ils pourraient subir eux-mêmes ou leurs aidants lorsqu’ils sont séparés. Cela peut inclure la peur, comme celle des soignants qui sont dans un accident, des animaux de compagnie qui meurent dans un incendie domestique ou qui sont enlevés pendant qu’ils jouent dans leur jardin.

Cette anxiété peut perturber considérablement la routine de l’enfant, affectant ses interactions sociales, sa performance scolaire et son bien-être général.

Trouble anxieux généralisé (TAG)

Le TAG comprend des préoccupations excessives et persistantes au sujet de divers aspects de la vie, comme les résultats scolaires, les interactions sociales et la sécurité personnelle. Les enfants atteints du TAG sont souvent perfectionnistes, autocritiques et présentent des symptômes physiques comme des maux de ventre ou de tête.

Ces préoccupations vont au-delà de ce qui est approprié pour le développement et peuvent inclure des préoccupations concernant des événements mineurs ou des résultats catastrophiques. Ces enfants peuvent avoir des tendances perfectionnistes, chercher à se rassurer constamment et penser trop même aux activités de routine.

Des symptômes physiques comme des maux de tête, des maux de ventre, des tensions musculaires ou la fatigue peuvent accompagner leurs pensées anxieuses. Ils peuvent avoir des difficultés à s’endormir, à se concentrer ou à être irritables en raison de leurs inquiétudes persistantes.

Cet état chronique d’appréhension et l’anxiété accrue peuvent nuire à leur capacité de se concentrer à l’école, de profiter des activités de loisirs et de maintenir des relations saines, ce qui a une incidence sur leur bien-être général.

La phobie sociale (trouble de l'anxiété sociale)

Les enfants ou adolescents souffrant d’anxiété sociale éprouvent une peur intense ou un malaise dans des situations sociales en raison de la crainte d’être jugés ou embarrassés. Ils peuvent éviter les rassemblements sociaux, parler en public ou participer à des activités où ils se sentent scrutés.

Ils peuvent éviter de s’exprimer en classe, de participer à des activités ou d’assister à des réunions. Lorsqu’ils sont forcés de se trouver dans des situations sociales, ils peuvent éprouver des symptômes physiques comme rougissement, tremblements, transpiration, battements cardiaques rapides ou maux d’estomac.

Ces enfants craignent souvent de commettre des erreurs, d’être mal évalués ou de se sentir humiliés dans un contexte social. Leur peur du rejet ou de la critique les empêche de nouer des amitiés, de participer à des activités parascolaires ou à des discussions en classe, ce qui affecte leur développement scolaire et social.

Le trouble d’anxiété sociale peut avoir une incidence importante sur l’estime de soi, les relations et la qualité de vie globale d’un enfant.

Refus scolaire

Le refus d’aller à l’école est caractérisé par une peur ou une anxiété persistante et écrasante liée à la fréquentation scolaire. Les enfants qui en sont victimes peuvent être extrêmement angoissés ou avoir des crises de panique lorsqu’ils envisagent d’aller à l’école.

Ils peuvent plaider, pleurer ou exprimer des symptômes physiques intenses comme des maux d’estomac, des maux de tête, des étourdissements ou des nausées, ce qui rend difficile le fait de quitter la maison. Leur anxiété à l’égard de l’école peut entraîner des absences fréquentes, du retard ou une réticence à participer aux activités scolaires.

Ces enfants peuvent exprimer des préoccupations au sujet de la séparation de leurs soignants, de la peur des interactions sociales, des pressions scolaires ou encore de l’intimidation ou du ridicule à l’école.

L’évitement de l’école peut avoir un impact important sur le progrès scolaire, les relations sociales et le bien-être émotionnel général, causant de la détresse à l’enfant et à sa famille.

Phobies spécifiques

Les phobies spécifiques se réfèrent à des peurs intenses et irrationnelles d’objets, de situations ou d’activités spécifiques. Il est important de noter que les peurs sont assez courantes dans l’enfance, et beaucoup d’enfants les dépassent avec le temps.

Cependant, lorsque ces craintes persistent au-delà des préoccupations normales appropriées pour le développement et qu’elles interfèrent de façon significative avec la vie quotidienne d’un enfant, cela peut être révélateur d’une phobie spécifique. Les phobies courantes comprennent la peur des chiens, des insectes, des araignées, de l’obscurité, des orages, des aiguilles, du vomissement et des costumes.

Attaques de panique

Une crise de panique est caractérisée par une montée soudaine et intense de peur ou d’inconfort qui atteint son apogée en quelques minutes. Le début est inattendu sans déclencheurs évidents.

Chez les enfants, les crises de panique peuvent être confondues avec des crises d’angoisse intenses. Les symptômes physiques peuvent inclure un cœur qui bat, une haleine courte, des douleurs ou de l’inconfort à la poitrine, des tremblements et de la transpiration. L’enfant peut aussi être incapable de parler ou de répondre.

Facteurs de risque du développement pour l’anxiété :

Tempérament: Les traits comportementaux inhérents peuvent prédisposer les enfants à l’anxiété. Des tempéraments très réactifs ou timides peuvent accroître la vulnérabilité aux troubles anxieux. Les enfants qui présentent une inhibition comportementale, une sensibilité accrue aux nouveaux stimuli ou une timidité excessive peuvent être plus à risque de développer des défis liés à l’anxiété.

Anxiété parentale : Les enfants de parents souffrant de troubles anxieux pourraient être plus susceptibles de développer eux-mêmes de l’anxiété. Cela peut être dû à une prédisposition génétique ou à des comportements appris et à des mécanismes d’adaptation observés à la maison.

Facteurs biologiques: Les déséquilibres de la chimie du cerveau ou les altérations de la fonction cérébrale peuvent contribuer aux troubles anxieux. La prédisposition génétique et les différences neurologiques peuvent accroître la vulnérabilité de l’enfant à l’anxiété.

Facteurs environnementaux : Les événements stressants de la vie, comme les conflits familiaux, les changements majeurs dans la vie, le divorce des parents ou le déménagement dans un nouvel environnement, peuvent déclencher ou exacerber les symptômes d’anxiété chez les enfants.

Traumatisme et stress : L’exposition à des événements traumatiques, comme la violence, la négligence ou les accidents, peut avoir un impact important sur la santé mentale d’un enfant, ce qui mène au développement de troubles anxieux.

Soutenir votre enfant anxieux :

Communication ouverte : Encouragez les conversations ouvertes avec votre enfant au sujet de ses sentiments et de ses émotions. Créer un environnement sûr et sans jugement où ils se sentent à l’aise d’exprimer leurs préoccupations.

Valider les sentiments : Reconnaître et valider les émotions de votre enfant. Lui faire savoir qu’il est normal de se sentir anxieux et que vous êtes là pour le soutenir.

Mesures d’adaptation des parents : Désigne les ajustements ou modifications que les parents apportent à leur comportement ou à leurs habitudes pour s’adapter aux symptômes d’anxiété de leur enfant. Par exemple, les parents peuvent éviter certaines situations ou activités qui déclenchent l’anxiété de leur enfant. Bien que cela puisse apporter un soulagement temporaire, cela renforce l’idée que la seule solution consiste à éviter les situations qui suscitent l’anxiété.

Promouvoir des mécanismes d’adaptation sains : Enseignez à votre enfant des stratégies d’adaptation saines comme des exercices de respiration profonde, la pleine conscience, l’activité physique régulière et des techniques de relaxation pour gérer son anxiété.

Établir des routines uniformes : La structure et la prévisibilité peuvent être réconfortantes pour les enfants anxieux. Établir des habitudes alimentaires régulières, sommeil, et les activités peuvent aider à réduire les niveaux d’anxiété.

Demander de l'aide professionnelle

Si vous êtes préoccupé par l’anxiété de votre enfant, envisagez de demander l’aide d’un professionnel de la santé mentale, comme un thérapeute ou un psychologue, spécialisé dans le traitement des enfants et des adolescents.

Explorez les services de psychothérapie pour enfants virtuels et les services de psychothérapie pour adolescent virtuels à la clinique de psychologie Leon. Nos psychologues et psychothérapeutes peuvent aider à déterminer si les symptômes de votre enfant sont dans la gamme du développement typique et, si nécessaire, fournir un soutien et une intervention pour un trouble anxieux.

Livres recommandés pour enfants

''Cali à un souci'' par Tom Percival
”How Big Are Your Worries Little Bear” by Jayneen Sanders

Foire aux questions

À quoi ressemble l’anxiété chez un enfant?

L’anxiété chez les enfants peut se manifester de diverses façons, et il est important de noter que chaque enfant est unique, donc les symptômes peuvent varier. De plus, un certain niveau d’anxiété est normal et peut faire partie du développement typique. Cependant, lorsque l’anxiété devient excessive ou interfère avec le fonctionnement quotidien d’un enfant, cela peut être une cause de préoccupation. Voici quelques signes et comportements courants qui peuvent indiquer l’anxiété chez les enfants : maux d’estomac, maux de tête, douleurs musculaires, évitement, tendresse, irritabilité, agitation, régression (p. ex., nausée), difficultés à dormir, retrait social, difficultés scolaires, etc.

Quel âge commence habituellement l’anxiété?

L’anxiété peut se manifester à tout âge, y compris pendant la petite enfance. Cependant, les symptômes d’anxiété peuvent varier selon les stades de développement. Il est normal que les enfants éprouvent de l’anxiété en réponse à de nouvelles expériences, comme commencer l’école ou rencontrer de nouvelles personnes. L’anxiété transitoire est une partie typique du développement, et beaucoup d’enfants grandissent naturellement au-delà des peurs et des soucis spécifiques. En ce qui concerne les troubles anxieux plus persistants, certains peuvent apparaître dans la petite enfance, tandis que d’autres peuvent devenir plus visibles à mesure qu’un enfant grandit.

Est-ce que l’anxiété est héritée des parents?

La recherche suggère que de nombreux enfants atteints d’anxiété ont un parent atteint d’anxiété. Cela est dû à une combinaison de facteurs biologiques (gènes partagés) et environnementaux (modélisation de l’anxiété et des stratégies d’adaptation inefficaces, surprotection des parents).

En conclusion

En tant que parent, il est crucial de comprendre que les troubles anxieux chez l’enfant et l’adolescent sont des conditions traitables. Grâce à une reconnaissance précoce, au soutien et aux interventions appropriées, les enfants et les adolescents peuvent apprendre à gérer leur anxiété efficacement, ce qui améliore le bien-être et leur donne une expérience de l’enfance plus épanouissante. Votre empathie, votre compréhension et votre approche proactive peuvent faire une différence importante dans le parcours de santé mentale de votre enfant.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

À propos de Dre Léon

BUILDING RESILIENCE IN CHILDREN: 3 WAYS OF NURTURING STRENGTH THROUGH ADVERSITY

RENFORCER LA RÉSILIENCE DES ENFANTS : 3 FAÇONS DE CULTIVER LA FORCE DANS L’ADVERSITÉ

Publié le 11 décembre 20237 novembre 2024 par Dr. Stephanie Leon

RENFORCER LA RÉSILIENCE DES ENFANTS : 3 FAÇONS DE CULTIVER LA FORCE DANS L’ADVERSITÉ

La résilience, la capacité de se remettre de l’adversité, est un trait crucial qui permet aux enfants d’affronter les défis de la vie avec courage et adaptabilité. Il leur donne les outils nécessaires pour faire face aux revers, grandir à partir de leurs expériences et prospérer dans l’adversité.

Cultiver la résilience chez les enfants implique de favoriser l’indépendance, les compétences d’adaptation et un état d’esprit sain. Il réduit également le risque de développer l’anxiété, la dépression et d’autres problèmes de santé mentale.

Types de parentalité surprotecteurs

Cependant, les tendances contemporaines en matière de parentalité ont vu un glissement vers des styles parentaux surprotecteurs qui entravent par inadvertance le développement de la résilience.

Les parents d’hélicoptère et de bulldozer sont deux termes utilisés pour décrire des styles parentaux caractérisés par une trop grande implication et une trop grande protection des enfants, où les parents se tiennent souvent en haleine et protègent les enfants contre l’échec ou le malaise.

Les interventions constantes et la surprotection empêchent les enfants d’apprendre à gérer les défis de façon autonome. Les protéger de l’échec les prive des occasions de développer leurs compétences en résolution de problèmes et leur résilience émotionnelle.

Comment savoir si je suis un parent surprotecteur?

Vous pourriez avoir tendance à être surprotecteur si vous dites oui à plusieurs des points suivants :

Est-ce que l’échec de votre enfant vous met mal à l’aise?
Est-ce que l’échec de votre enfant vous met mal à l’aise?
Sautez-vous pour récupérer votre enfant ?
Sautez-vous pour régler une situation pour votre enfant? (p. ex., intervenez dans un désaccord avec un pair)
Vous trouvez-vous en train de réprimander votre enfant pour les petites chutes, les éraflures et les bleus?
Empêchez-vous votre enfant de grimper ou de sauter d’endroits plus haut au parc?
Empêchez-vous votre enfant de se tirailler avec ses pairs?
Empêchez-vous votre enfant d’interagir avec des enfants « bruyants et actifs » au cas où il se blesse?
Avez-vous tendance à garder votre enfant à la maison la plupart du temps?
Réparez-vous les choses (p. ex., les jouets) avant que votre enfant ne s’en aperçoive?
Proposez-vous plusieurs options de repas au cas où votre enfant n’est pas d’humeur à ce que vous avez prévu?
Achetez-vous un cadeau à votre enfant lorsque vous magasinez pour l’anniversaire de quelqu’un d’autre?
Compensez-vous trop pour éviter que votre enfant ne soit déçu? (p. ex., achetez une friandise parce que les plans ont été annulés)
Vous mettez-vous vraiment en colère contre les autres enfants, les parents ou l’école si votre enfant est victime de blessures mineures ou d’insultes, mais si votre enfant est le perpétuateur, vous avez tendance à donner des excuses pour ce comportement?
Vous êtes constamment à l’affût de la façon dont votre enfant est « exceptionnel » ou « différent » pour expliquer son comportement difficile?

3 façons d’apprendre à votre enfant à être résilient

Favoriser la résilience signifie permettre aux enfants de faire face à des risques et à des défis gérables. Les laisser échouer, faire des erreurs et rencontrer des revers leur enseigne de précieuses leçons en matière de résilience, d’adaptabilité et de persévérance. Permettre aux enfants de relever des défis de façon autonome, dans des limites raisonnables, favorise un sentiment d’autonomie et de confiance.

1- Définir des limites et des attentes claires

Fixer des limites claires à la maison donne aux enfants un sentiment de sécurité et de structure. Les parents peuvent établir des limites en communiquant clairement à l’avance leurs limites, règles, attentes et conséquences.

Expliquez les raisons qui les sous-tendent de façon appropriée à l’âge, au lieu de dire des choses comme « parce que je l’ai dit » et « parce que je suis le parent ».

Assurez-vous d’énoncer clairement ce qu’il faut faire plutôt que de ne pas le faire. Par exemple, au lieu de dire « arrêtez de courir à l’heure du souper », essayez « lorsque nous avons le dîner, il est respectueux de s’asseoir dans votre chaise jusqu’à ce que votre assiette soit prête ».

Les conséquences devraient également être déterminées à l’avance. De cette façon, en tant que parent, vous n’imposez pas des conséquences que vous ne pouvez pas supporter (p. ex., « pas de télévision pour le reste du mois! ») lorsque vous êtes dans le feu de l’action.

Les conséquences naturelles ont également le plus grand impact à long terme. Les conséquences naturelles sont des résultats ou des résultats qui se produisent naturellement en conséquence directe de nos actions ou de nos choix.

Par exemple,

Si un enfant refuse de porter un manteau par temps froid, la conséquence naturelle pourrait être qu’il aura froid lorsqu’il sortira.
Si un élève ne fait pas ses devoirs, la conséquence naturelle pourrait être de recevoir une note inférieure ou d’avoir à faire face aux mesures disciplinaires de l’enseignant.
Si l’enfant casse ou perd une appartenance par négligence, la conséquence naturelle est qu’il n’a plus ce jouet ou cette appartenance même si elle peut être importante.

Enfin, la partie la plus importante au sujet des limites et des attentes est la cohérence. Les enfants respectent les parents qui sont cohérents parce que cela semble juste.

2- Enseigner des compétences en résolution de problèmes

Aidez votre enfant à développer des compétences en résolution de problèmes en l’impliquant dans les processus décisionnels. Les encourager à faire un remue-méninges pour trouver des solutions à leurs propres problèmes, ce qui leur permettra progressivement de gérer les défis de façon autonome. Voici les étapes que vous pouvez enseigner à votre enfant :

Identifier le problème : Encouragez votre enfant à bien articuler le problème auquel il fait face. Posez des questions ouvertes pour l’aider à décrire le problème en détail. Par exemple,

« Qu’est-ce qui semble vous déranger? » ou « Pouvez-vous expliquer ce qui s’est passé et qui vous a contrarié? »

Remue-ménage pour des solutions : Une fois le problème identifié, encouragez votre enfant à faire un remue-méninges sur les solutions possibles. Vous pouvez dire :

Songeons à différentes façons de résoudre ce problème. Quelles sont les choses que nous pourrions essayer?

Aidez-les à générer des idées multiples sans jugement, à ce stade, peu importe si l’idée proposée est stupide, irréaliste ou tout simplement pas très bonne. Vous pouvez faire quelques suggestions (bonnes ou mauvaises) si votre enfant est coincé.

Évaluer les options: After listing several solutions, discuss the pros and cons of each option together. Guide your child to consider the potential outcomes and consequences of each solution. This helps them develop critical thinking skills and consider different perspectives.

Choisir une solution: Encouragez votre enfant à choisir la solution la plus pratique et efficace parmi celles qu’il a proposées. Appuyer leur processus décisionnel en posant des questions comme :

Quelle option vous semble la plus appropriée dans cette situation?

Ceci est très important : laissez-les choisir ce que vous considérez comme une « mauvaise » option.

Mettre en œuvre la solution choisie : Aider votre enfant à élaborer un plan pour mettre en œuvre la solution choisie. Offrir des conseils et des ressources, au besoin, mais leur permettre de prendre les devants. Cette étape leur permet d’assumer la responsabilité de résoudre le problème.

Réfléchir et apprendre : Après avoir essayé la solution, prenez le temps de réfléchir au résultat. Discutez avec votre enfant de ce qui a bien fonctionné et de ce qui n’a pas fonctionné. Ce processus de réflexion les aide à tirer des leçons de l’expérience, favorisant la résilience et l’adaptabilité aux défis futurs.

Tout au long de ce processus, il est essentiel d’encourager et de soutenir les gens sans pour autant prendre entièrement en charge le processus de résolution des problèmes. Adaptez votre orientation en fonction de l’âge et du stade de développement de votre enfant, ce qui lui permet d’assumer progressivement plus de responsabilités à mesure qu’il grandit.

3- Louange et validation efficaces

Éloge: Les louanges devraient porter sur l’effort, le progrès et les actions spécifiques plutôt que sur les traits de caractère ou les résultats inhérents.

En d’autres termes, au lieu de faire des éloges génériques comme « Vous êtes si intelligent », reconnaissez l’effort et les stratégies qu’ils ont utilisés : « J’apprécie le travail acharné que vous avez fait pour résoudre ce problème. »

Essayez de souligner leur persévérance : « J’admire la façon dont vous avez continué à essayer, même quand c’était difficile », peu importe le résultat. Cette approche favorise une mentalité de croissance, encourageant les enfants à valoriser l’effort et l’apprentissage.

Lorsque nous offrons des éloges qui sont génériques ou uniquement basés sur des traits inhérents ou des résultats, nous courons le risque de communiquer que les traits ou la performance des résultats équivaut à l’estime de soi. En d’autres termes, les enfants apprennent que pour être « bons » ou dignes, ils doivent être considérés comme intelligents ou compétents, généralement grâce à des normes externes telles que l’obtention de bonnes notes ou la remise de médailles.

Certains enfants qui se distinguent par des normes externes et qui sont donc souvent félicités pour leurs performances scolaires ou sportives risquent davantage de développer traits de perfectionnisme.

Validation: Parfois, lorsque les parents reçoivent cette rétroaction, ils ont peur de parler de la performance, ce qui peut alors invalider l’expérience de l’enfant.

Il est tout à fait acceptable (en fait, c’est fortement recommandé) de valider la frustration, la déception ou la tristesse de votre enfant à la suite d’une mauvaise note ou d’une perte de notes, ainsi que de valider la fierté qu’éprouve l’enfant pour ses réalisations. Ce qu’il faut éviter, c’est de les féliciter trop pour ces choses.

Voici à quoi peuvent ressembler la validation et les louanges fondées sur l’effort :

Je vois à quel point tu es déçu de ta note en maths; tu espérais vraiment qu’elle serait plus élevée. Même si cela n’a pas encore fait une grande différence dans tes notes, je suis très fier(e) de tout le travail et les efforts que tu as mis pour améliorer tes notes en mathématiques. Prenons un rendez-vous avec ton professeur(e) de mathématiques pour voir ce que nous pouvons faire de plus pour le prochain examen.

Tu es tellement excité d’avoir remporté la première place à ton concours de danse! Tu dois être si fier(e) de toi pour tout ce que tu as mis en pratique. Je suis tellement heureux(se) que les juges aient pu te voir à ton meilleur. Allons célébrer!

Lectures complémentaires

La déclaration de position de la Société canadienne de pédiatrie concernant le « jeu à risque » est une lecture obligatoire Aussi sécuritaire que nécessaire : Les pédiatres affirment que le « jeu à risque » peut améliorer la santé et le bien-être des enfants | Société canadienne de pédiatrie (cps.ca)

Foire aux questions

Qu’est-ce qui aide les enfants à améliorer leur résilience?

La résilience consiste à trouver un équilibre entre protection et exposition, ce qui permet aux enfants de faire l’expérience de risques et de défis gérables. Leur permettre de se blesser, d’échouer et de connaître des revers peut favoriser la résilience en leur enseignant de précieuses leçons sur la persévérance, la résolution de problèmes et l’autonomie.

Quels sont les 7 C de la résilience?

Le Dr. Ginsburg, pédiatre spécialisé en médecine de l’adolescence en Pennsylvanie, croit que la résilience peut être décomposée en parties qu’il appelle les 7C de la résilience. Il s’agit de la compétence, de la confiance, du lien, du caractère, de la contribution, de l’adaptation et du contrôle. Pour en savoir plus à ce sujet, cliquez ici : Renforcer la résilience chez les enfants : les 7 C de la résilience (pathfinder.health)

Quels sont les signes d’une faible résilience?

Chez les enfants, une faible résilience ressemble souvent à une grande difficulté pour faire face aux défis quotidiens tels que :

Déceptions (p. ex., perte ou bris d’un bien),
Changements/transitions (p. ex., activité annulée);
Gérer les problèmes sociaux (p. ex., un ami a dit que je suis stupide
Faible estime de soi et valeur personnelle
Mauvaise résolution des problèmes

En conclusion

En fin de compte, encourager la résilience chez les enfants implique de trouver un équilibre délicat entre leur protection et leur capacité à faire face aux défis. Il est essentiel de créer un environnement favorable où les enfants se sentent en sécurité pour explorer, prendre des risques et apprendre de leurs expériences afin de favoriser la résilience. En acceptant les échecs comme des occasions d’apprentissage et en inculquant un sentiment d’indépendance, de limites claires et de modèles positifs, les parents peuvent donner à leurs enfants les moyens de développer la résilience nécessaire pour s’épanouir dans un monde en constante évolution.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

À propos de Dre Léon

HOW OUR MINDS FILTER INFORMATION: UNDERSTANDING INATTENTION

Publié le 21 novembre 20237 novembre 2024 par Dr. Stephanie Leon

HOW OUR MINDS FILTER INFORMATION: UNDERSTANDING INATTENTION

Imagine that your brain’s capacity to pay attention is like a camping headlight. When you’re focused, that headlight shines bright on what you’re doing. But for some people, this headlight flickers or doesn’t stay on one thing for long. In other words, inattention is difficulty keeping that mental headlight steady and on the task at hand.

Inattention can also be conceptualized as a filter problem. You brain needs to ignore and suppress thousands of pieces of information (called stimuli) throughout the day, from how clothes feels on your skin to the buzzing of lights, to be able to selectively attend to what is needed in the moment. In those with inattention, the filter is too loose and lets too many irrelevant pieces of information pass through which are then distracting.

Causes of inattention

Inattention is a cognitive process that is very vulnerable to internal and external conditions. This means that our ability to focus and filter out irrelevant information will vary depending on our needs, mood, health, and events around us. We are more likely to have trouble focusing if we are:

Tired
Hungry
Too hot or too cold
Anxious, worried or stressed
Down, sad or depressed
In pain
Have hormonal fluctuations (for example, during pregnancy, menopause and andropause)

These factors are normal and reversible. However, some individual’s attention is impaired due to neurodevelopmental factors (most common being TDAH) or aquired factors (e.g., brain injury, dementia, and chronic conditions like diabetes). In these cases, inattention is something the person struggles with on a daily basis and significantly impacts their day to day life.

What inattention looks like in everyday life

Common problems that individuals with inattention encounter include:

Forgetfulness: Frequently forget meetings, appointments, important tasks, loses belongings, or has trouble remembering what was said or what they just did. Note that forgetfulness related to inattention is different from a true memory problem.

Taking a long time to complete tasks: Because they are often distracted those with inattention have trouble completing tasks and may need more time to finish what is asked of them.

Avoiding tasks requiring sustained attention: They might avoid activities that need longer focus, like studying for exams or reading lengthy texts. On the contrary, they might move from one activity (project, task, idea) to another very quickly.

Daydreaming: They might tend to get lost in their thoughts, thinking about something else than what is being discussed in conversation.

Making careless mistakes: Rush through work or overlook details due to a lack of attention to instructions, rather than because they are truly not able to complete the task.

Difficulty doing what is asked: Struggling to follow multi-step instructions which leads to asking the same questions repeatedly, feeling overwhelmed and looking disorganized.

Because of their difficulties completing tasks, individuals with inattention are often labelled as ”lazy” or ”oppositional”. On the contrary, many individuals with inattention have to work twice as hard as others to complete tasks and should take pride in their achievements even if it took them longer or if they had to take a longer path to get to their end goal.

Can therapy help with inattention?

In therapy, addressing inattention often involves cognitive and behavioral strategies to improve focus, attention, and organizational skills. Therapists may employ techniques such as mindfulness training, behavior modification, and coaching on time management to help individuals manage and reduce inattentive symptoms. Additionally, therapy can provide a supportive environment to explore underlying issues contributing to inattention and develop personalized strategies to enhance concentration and overall functioning.

At the Clinique de psychologie Leon our skilled therapists and psychologists are ready to help you are your child improve focus and well-being.

Foire aux questions

I am a teacher or daycare provider, what can I do to help children with inattention in class?

Preferential Seating: The child’s seat should be located in such a way to minimize distractions. Usually near the teacher and away from doors and windows is preferred.
Shared Attention: Ensure that you have the child’s attention before providing instructions by making eye contact and/or positioning yourself at eye level.
Clear and Visual Instructions: When providing instructions, make sure they are short, simple, and clear. Supplement instructions with pictures, graphs, and key words.
Repetition and Reminders: Instructions will need to be repeated and the child with benefit from reminders to reinforce learning. Provide these in a neutral tone.
Access to a Quiet Room: Allow the child to complete lengthy assignments and exams in a room free of distractions, such as a quiet room or resource room.
Movement: Some children and teens may use movement or other self-stimulation to improve their focus. This might include doodling, using fidgets, humming, etc. If it is unintrusive to other students, allow the student to use this strategy.
Noise-Cancelling Headphones: Permit the use of noise-cancelling headphones to reduce noise distractibility during individual work.
Access to Recorded Materials: Provide access to recorded lectures, outlines, notes from peers/ teachers, or tools like a smartpen (e.g., LiveScribe) to review missed information.
Use Engaging or Multimodal Learning Approaches: Provide highly engaging and varied learning approaches such as auditory, visual, and hands-on activities to maintain focus.
Positive Reinforcement: Providing incentives, such as additional time on a preferred activity or special permission, can help increase motivation on non-preferred tasks.

I am a parent of an inattentive child, what strategies can I use at home?

Shared Attention: Avoid giving instructions from across the room or while they are actively engrossed on a task. Make sure you are near them and making eye contact.
Clear and Visual Instructions: Provide one instruction at a time. Make sure each instruction is short, simple and in words the child can understand. Refer to pictures or graphs to aid in task completion for routine tasks.
Repetition and Reminders: Instructions and expectations will need to be repeated often. Reminders will be necessary to reinforce learning. Provide these in a neutral, non-judgemental tone.
Frequent Check-ins: You will need to include more check-ins to make sure your child is on the right path when completing a task.
Positive Reinforcement: Offer praise, encouragement, and rewards for efforts (not just accomplishments) to help boost the child’s motivation and self-esteem. Incentives, such as additional time on a preferred activity or special permission, can help increase motivation on tasks that are long and arduous.
Dedicated and Quiet Workspace: Set up a quiet workspace for your child at home away from the busy areas of your home (for example facing a blank wall, not near the TV). Noise-cancelling headphones can help with auditory distractions.
Limit Screen Time: Although excessive screen time does not cause inattention, it can contribute to distractibility and being unmotivated to work on difficult tasks. Set reasonable limits on screen time and encourage breaks from electronic devices.
Encourage Physical Activity: Incorporate regular physical activities or exercise into the child’s routine. Exercise can help reduce restlessness and improve focus.
Practice sleep hygiene: Make sure your child or teen goes to bed within the same 30-minute window of time every night. Shut off electronics 1 hour before bed.
Healthy Eating: Make sure your child has a balanced diet. Breakfast appears to be the most important meal in terms of cognitive abilities and some research suggests that a high protein breakfast (e.g., eggs or meat) is best for attention and learning in children.

Does everyone who have inattention have ADHD?

No. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – including inattentive type, hyperactive type and combined type – is a neurodevelopmental disorder. Meaning that it arises due to brain differences that occur in the perinatal or early childhood period. Most often, the brain develops differently because of the person’s genes and gene interaction with the environment. For this reason, you might hear of terms such as neurodiversity or neuroatypicality when discussing ADHD. If inattention is present after this early period in the brain development, it is typically acquired (for example due to a medical condition, or head injury) or can arise as a response to stress, trauma, and mental health disorders. Although experts are divided on this issue, this is not true ADHD. Aquired or later life inattention symptoms can nevertheless significantly impact functioning and deserve to be treated with the same tools as those available for ADHD.

En somme

Inattention refers to the difficulty in maintaining focus, staying on task, or being easily distracted, often leading to trouble completing assignments or following instructions. It can manifest as a core symptom in conditions like attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) but may also occur independently due to various factors such as stress, fatigue, or health conditions.

dr. stephanie leon online child psychologist neuropsychologist in ontario quebec

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

À propos de Dre Léon

WORRIED ABOUT JEALOUSY TOWARDS THE NEW BABY? A GUIDE TO PREPARING YOUR TODDLER FOR A NEW SIBLING

Publié le 1 septembre 20237 novembre 2024 par Dr. Stephanie Leon

Expecting a second (or third, or fourth!) baby? Congrats! Here are a few tips on how to prepare and manage your eldest’s jealousy.

WORRIED ABOUT JEALOUSY TOWARDS THE NEW BABY? A GUIDE TO PREPARING YOUR TODDLER FOR A NEW SIBLING

You are excited about the new life growing inside your belly, but also a bit apprehensive. How will my eldest react? Will they play together? Will my oldest feel neglected during the first few months? Will they get jealous?

Sibling jealousy is a common concern. Let’s discuss what steps you can take for the transition to be smoother for your oldest child(ren).

Before the birth

– Communicate the news

Tell your child about the baby in your tummy. There is no specific time when to do this but take into consideration the child’s age and ability to understand. Typically, a few months in advance when you start showing is a good time. Remind them often that there is a baby coming and share your excitement!

– Read

Read to your child a few books about the arrival of a new sibling so they know what to expect. For example, that mommy will spend a few days at the hospital while grandparents stay over. Since births can be unpredictable you can start reading these books around the time you tell them about the baby in your tummy.

– Play

You may want to engage your child in play (with a doll or teddy) so they can practice having a baby. But be clear that a baby will be able to move, cry, and will need to be handled gently.

– Involve your oldest

A few weeks before the birth, bring your oldest along at the store to pick out an outfit or a toy for their new sibling. It can help them feel more excited and feel included in the process.

After the birth

–Purchase a toy

Your oldest might be very excited to meet their new sibling. However, they might see the baby getting showered with new gifts. Consider purchasing a small gift to give your oldest in the first few days after the birth.

– Quality time

Once the baby is born, make time every day for one-on-one quality with your oldest, this will reduce the likelihood of jealousy. Also make sure to include lots of hugs and physical contact as this is comforting and reassuring to children.

– Involve your oldest

If your oldest appears interested, involve them in taking care of the baby. This can include fetching items like diapers and toys or helping at bath time.

– Do not reprimand harshly

Allow them to touch the baby. Do not scold or reprimand if they are rough, instead show then how you would like them to be gentle. Your oldest might also want to play with the baby’s toys. Allow them to do this, they will eventually get bored and move back to their own.

– Creative play

Your oldest might be impatient to play with the baby. Think of some games that require no participation from the baby, like playing peek-a-boo and singing to the baby.

– Providing opportunities to be a ‘big boy’ or ‘big girl’

Sometimes the baby can appear to have a lot of new and fun things (new toys, special chair, etc.) which can make your oldest jealous. Providing opportunities for activities or things that ‘are not for the baby and only for big boys/girls’ can create a sense of balance. Your oldest will feel like they have something special too.

Behavioural regression

It is expected that the older child(ren) will experience some level of adjustment to their new sibling. After all, their routine has changed, relatives and parents might be spending less time with them, there might be physical changes in the home and the baby’s cries and needs might be annoying to them.

Signs of behavioural regression can include:

Asking to wear a diaper again despite being potty trained.
Soiling their clothes or wetting the bed in a child that was previously potty trained.
Asking to be helped with eating and getting dressed when they did this independently.
Asking for a pacifier
Wanting to be held constantly or ride the stroller (if they stopped doing this)
Not being able to play alone.

In other words, anything that makes them more baby-like.

What should you do about behavioural regressions?

The number one thing is to arm yourself with patience. This can be hard if you are also contending with lack of sleep and a needy baby.

Do not get angry or react intensely to these behaviours. Acknowledge that they might want to do like the baby but that they are no longer a baby. If you want to indulge them a little bit at first, that’s ok (e.g., letting them taste the baby food). But then gently encourage them to go back to what they were doing previously.

Children innately want to grow up and be more independent and they will eventually give up their baby-like behaviours once they see no value in them. Providing opportunities to be a ‘big boy’ or ‘big girl’ can help some kids move along, for others it can simply be a question of time.

Seeking Professional Help: Parent Consultation

Dr. Leon is a skilled pediatric psychologist who works with children and parents on a range of behaviours, including sibling jealousy. If you are concerned about the transition for your eldest child, a parent consultation might be the best place to start.

Foire aux questions

Will I see signs of jealousy or regression as soon as I bring my new baby home?

Probably not. For most kids, there will be an initial period of excitement. Then, once the novelty wears off (this can take days to weeks or even months) you might see these signs.

Do all older siblings get jealous?

No, not necessarily. Whether your oldest gets jealous usually depends a bit on their personality and on how much they feel the baby is taking away from your attention and time. It can also depend on the oldest child’ age. By using the tips above, you can reduce the chances of your oldest getting overly jealous.

What do I do if my oldest starts asking to wear a diaper or use a pacifier again?

It is normal for older siblings (particularly in the toddler years) to experience behavioural regression when a new baby arrives. Do not scold or reprimand them, instead highlight the disadvantages of being a baby (e.g., going to bed earlier, not being able to eat snacks) and advantages of being independent.

En somme

Preparing your toddler for a new sibling involves discussing the upcoming changes positively and emphasizing their role as a big brother or sister, encouraging their involvement in baby-related tasks to foster a sense of inclusion and importance. Reading books about new siblings, spending quality time together, and addressing their concerns or questions can help ease the transition, ensuring they feel loved and secure during this significant family change.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

À propos de Dre Léon

Cela vous a été utile? Partagez avec un ami!

TROUBLESHOOTING POTTY TRAINING ISSUES: 5 COMMON PROBLEMS AND HOW TO ADDRESS THEM

Publié le 31 août 20237 novembre 2024 par Dr. Stephanie Leon

Potty training can be very easy but only if your child is ready!

TROUBLESHOOTING POTTY TRAINING ISSUES: 5 COMMON PROBLEMS AND HOW TO ADDRESS THEM

Children differ in how fast they walk and talk and same goes for potty training. Some children are ready to potty train earlier than others; some can be potty trained before 2 years of age some after 4.

When children are ready and parents are consistent, most children can be daytime potty trained within a week or two. For other children, it can take longer.

In this article we will cover common issues that arise during potty training and discuss how to address them:

Fears

Toddlers can have unusual fears that don’t make sense to adults. When it comes to toilet training, a common one is a fear of falling in the toilet. This fear can be easily addressed by offering a child seat or potty before graduating to a regular toilet.

Other fears don’t have such a practical solution, such as being afraid that something will come out of the toilet, being worried about their poop leaving (separation fear), and fear of pain.

If your child appears resistant about sitting on a toilet, ask them whether they are afraid. Allow your child to express that fear and ask questions in a non-judgemental way to better understand it.

You can provide feedback and information at whether their fear is valid, but make sure not to trivialize or laugh away their fear. If this is impeding their potty training, it is clearly something that they think is important.

If the fear is related to pain, then your child might be experiencing some level of constipation or diarrhea. In some instances, children might remember and be afraid to experience it again. In this case, you can validate the experience and reassure them that the pain will not happen every time.

Children with a more anxious temperament might not be as easily reassured or comforted when fears are addressed. Be patient.

Withholding and Constipation

Withholding is the conscious effort to prevent a bowel movement. Some children withhold due to fear, not being ready or needing a sense of control.

It comes to no surprise that frequent withholding leads to constipation due to the child learning to ignore their body’s signals and because stagnant stool leads to blockages.

Frequent constipation often causes pain when the child finally does have a bowel movement, in turn increasing their avoidance of bowel movements. Signs your child is constipated include decreased appetite, small hard stools, and expressions of pain during a bowel movement.

This vicious cycle can be broken by increasing the body’s signals and reducing the likelihood of constipation through dietary changes. Here are a few basic suggestions:

Water: Increase your child’s water intake. Avoid high sugary drinks like fruit juices and sodas. Milk can be hydrating but should not replace water. Too much dairy can increase risk of constipation in some toddlers.

High Fiber foods: Prioritize high-fiber foods, such as most fruits, vegetables and oatmeal. You can increase vegetable intake indirectly by adding it to smoothies, tomato sauces and soups. Reduce refined sugars (cookies, cake, candy, prepackaged snacks).

Do you have a picky eater or have more questions on how to make these dietary changes? Connecting with your primary care provider or a registered child dietician can help.

Using the Wrong Reinforcer

All children are motivated by parental praise. High-fives, hugs, smiles, and verbal expressions of pride can go a long way in increasing any behaviour including potty training and should always be used first.

However, praise is not sufficient for some toddlers. Generally, children will be motivated by different things, depending on their temperament and preferences. Some children are motivated by tangible reinforcers like treats, stickers, or permissions. Others are motivated by social modeling or a desire to be more independent.

Figuring out what motivates your child can help move potty training along. Keep in mind the following when using reinforcers:

If you are using tangible reinforcers, make sure they are of token value (e.g., one gummy bear instead of a bag of candy, one sticker instead of a new toy and 10 more minutes of TV instead of a movie before bedtime).

Children who are motivated by a desire for independence or by social modeling, might benefit from watching other children or parents go to the washroom or helping younger children get potty trained. For these children, you can encourage them by asking if they want to be like their sibling, friend or cousin.

Life Transitions

You should avoid potty training just before or after a big change in your child’s life. For example, its not a good idea to start potty training when the child is starting a new daycare, moving homes, adjusting to a new sibling, or experiencing parental separation.

Children need to focus on adapting to these transitions and your attempts at potty training are more likely to be met with failure and frustration creating a negative experience for them.

So when is the right time? There is no perfect timing but aim for a few quiet weeks where you can concentrate on potty training.

Regression

Similarly, potty-trained toddlers can experience a regression in their potty training when confronted with big life changes. Even older children can experience a few day-time accidents or bed wetting.

Such a regression is completely normal. What you need to do is to arm yourself with a lot of patience.

If your child has been fully poly potty trained before, then they have the emotional and physical capacity to go to the washroom on their own. They will go back to being fully potty train once they have adapted to the new situation. It is really a question of time and how much support and understanding we provide during the transition.

I Have Tried These Strategies, and Nothing Seems to Work!

Although several strategies you can use as a parent to help your child become potty trained (including the strategies described above) many things are outside your control. A child might not be physiologically, physically, emotionally, or cognitively ready to potty train.

Forcing a child to potty train too early and it may result in increased meltdowns and trantrums, loss of self-esteem and confidence, and fears which can all in themselves delay readiness.

If your child does not start to react favorably within 1-3 weeks, stop and try again in 2-3 months.

Demander de l'aide professionnelle: Parent Consultation

Dr. Leon is an experienced and dedicated psychologist who works with children and their parents on a variety of behaviours, including potty training. If you are struggling with potty training even after having put in place the strategies described above, a parent consultation can help you and your child.

For further reading:

General potty training book: Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right – by Jamie Glowacki

Children’s book for children who withhold: It Hurts When I Poop! : A Story For Children Who Are Scared To Use the Potty – by Dr. Howard J. Bennett

Foire aux questions

How can I be supportive of my child if they have accidents or experience a regression?

The most important thing is to not punish or shame them when they have accidents. Normalise that this can happen and that you will help them get to the washroom the next time. Support your child by expressing your firm belief that in time they will stop having accidents.

Can I give my child a laxative if he is withholding and constipated?

There are over-the-counter medications that can help with occasional constipation in children. These medications are not to be used continuously but can help break the cycle of withholding and constipation. Note that you should always ask your primary care provider first before using any new medications or if your child is experiencing chronic constipation. Your primary care provider will also be able to rule out uncommon but serious medical conditions that can cause constipation.

How do I know if my child is ready to be potty trained?

Factors associated with readiness include being capable of taking off diaper/underwear on their own, being able to access a bathroom on their own, showing interest in being potty trained, showing signs that they know a bowel movement is coming, feeling upset or ashamed when they soil their diaper, asking for their diapers to be changed, going longer periods of time without their diapers getting wet. A combination of 3 or more of these is probably a sign that you can start talking to your child about potty training.

En somme

Troubleshooting potty training issues involves maintaining patience and consistency while identifying potential triggers, such as stress or changes in routine, that might affect the child’s progress. Adapting the potty training approach, offering positive reinforcement, and avoiding punishment can help address challenges, creating a supportive environment for the child to learn and succeed in their potty training journey.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

À propos de Dre Léon

Cela vous a été utile? Partagez avec un ami!

5 EMOTIONAL REGULATION STRATEGIES FOR CHILDREN & TEENS

Publié le 15 mai 20237 novembre 2024 par Dr. Stephanie Leon

Learn effective emotional regulation strategies for children and teens. Help them navigate their emotions and develop valuable coping skills for life.

5 EMOTIONAL REGULATION STRATEGIES FOR CHILDREN & TEENS

Emotional regulation is an important part of a child’s development. As parents, it’s our responsibility to help our kids learn how to manage their difficult emotions and feelings. Ultimately, we want them to develop self-regulation skills for dealing with difficult emotions on their own.

In this article, we’ll explore five effective strategies that parents and caregivers can use for teaching emotional regulation skills to children in a healthy and constructive way.

What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotion regulation is the essential ability to recognize, understand, and effectively manage emotional control in a healthy and balanced way, even in the face of challenging situations.

It involves being aware of your emotions, identifying them accurately, and implementing strategies to regulate their intensity and emotional expression. Just like any other skill, emotional self-regulation in children is something that is learned and developed over time.

Why Is Healthy Emotional Regulation In Children Important?

Children with positive emotion regulation skills are better prepared to cope with life’s inevitable tragedies. When faced with difficult circumstances, they can process their emotions, seek support, and engage in self-care. This resilience helps them bounce back from adversity.

These children are not immune to experiencing difficult emotions. In fact, the goal is not to eliminate difficult emotions, but to have the tools to manage them constructively.

5 Emotional Regulation Strategies For Children & Teens

Here are some strategies to aid in the development of emotion regulation in kids and teens.

Teach kids to identify their feelings (emotional awareness).

The first step in regulation of emotion for children is to help them learn to identify and name their feelings, which is called emotional awareness. Encourage your child to express and name their feelings, creating a safe space for open communication.

This can be done by labeling emotions when they arise, such as saying “you seem frustrated right now” or “you seem excited right now.” This helps them to become more aware of their emotions and understand how they are feeling. Utilize visual aids, storytelling, and books to help children recognize different emotions and validate their experiences.

Try some emotional regulation activities for kids.

Another important strategy is to help kids learn to manage their emotions in a healthy way. This can be done by encouraging them to talk about how they are feeling and helping them find constructive ways to express their emotions.

For example, if they are feeling angry, they can take deep breaths, go for a walk, or draw a picture of their feelings.

Teach mindfulness strategies.

Teach your child simple mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing, finger breathing, or body scans that help them understand the connection between emotions and physical sensations. Explain that they can better manage their emotions by learning to be present in the moment.

Practice deep breathing exercises together when they are calm. Then try using it during stressful situations. For school aged children, you can introduce relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery.

Demonstrate coping strategies for managing strong emotions.

It’s also important to help children learn to manage strong emotions when they experience them. Coping strategies are activities that can help calm them down.

Activities that engage their senses can be particularly calming, such as taking a shower or bath (touch), listening to music (hearing), and swinging or dancing (proprioception).

Model how to regulate emotions as a parent.

Parent modeling is another crucial part of emotion regulation. Children learn by observing. Display healthy emotional regulation in your own behavior, showing them how to handle stress, frustration, or disappointment calmly.

You can also promote empathy by modeling empathic behaviors and encouraging your child to consider others’ perspectives and emotions. Engage in activities such as role-playing or storytelling to foster understanding. Help them grasp the impact of their actions on others’ well-being.

When parents model healthy ways of expressing emotions, such as talking through their feelings, children are more likely to learn how to do the same.

Tips for Helping Children With Poor Emotional Regulation

Create a calming environment

Designate a quiet, peaceful space where your child can retreat when overwhelmed. Fill it with comforting items like soft blankets, sensory toys, or calming music. This safe space allows them to self-regulate and find solace during intense emotions.

Practice emotional coaching

When your child experiences strong emotions, validate their feelings and help them understand the underlying reasons. Use phrases like “I see you’re feeling upset. Can you tell me what happened?” This approach helps them develop emotional intelligence and promotes self-reflection.

Establish clear expectations

Set clear boundaries and expectations regarding appropriate behavior. Clearly communicate the consequences of their actions while emphasizing the importance of emotional self-control. Consistency and follow-through are key to helping children understand the importance of emotional regulation.

Encourage physical activity

Engage your child in physical activities to help release pent-up emotions. Exercise, sports, or even a simple walk can provide a healthy outlet for their energy and emotions. Physical activity also stimulates the release of endorphins, which can improve their mood.

Use visual aids

Visual aids such as emotion charts, feeling faces, or emotion thermometers can assist your child in identifying and expressing their emotions. These tools help them develop a vocabulary for their feelings and enhance their emotional awareness.

Recognizing When to Seek Help : Services de psychothérapie pour enfants

If your child continues to struggle with emotional regulation, consider seeking professional support from a therapist or psychologist experienced in working with children. Dr. Leon is an experienced clinician who is passionate about helping children and adolescents navigate emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties as well as supporting parents in providing optimal parenting when faced with these challenges.

Explore Dr. Leon’s Child Psychotherapy services today to help your child gain the skills they need to regulate their emotions.

D'autres lectures

For more tips and strategies on teaching emotional regulation: https://childmind.org/article/can-help-kids-self-regulation/
If your child is struggling with emotional regulation: https://www.apa.org/topics/parenting/emotion-regulation

Foire aux questions

What are some effective strategies for teaching emotional regulation to children and teens?

One effective strategy is teaching deep breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques to help children and teens calm their minds and bodies during moments of heightened emotion. Another strategy is encouraging them to engage in activities that promote self-reflection, such as journaling or engaging in creative outlets like art or music.

What are the potential benefits of practicing emotional regulation strategies in childhood and adolescence?

Practicing emotional regulation strategies in childhood and adolescence can have numerous benefits. It helps children and teens develop resilience. Emotional regulation skills can also lead to better decision-making, reduced impulsivity, and improved academic performance. These skills provide a foundation for healthier emotional well-being and mental health throughout their lives.

How can emotional regulation skills learned in childhood impact well-being in adulthood?

Emotional regulation skills learned in childhood and adolescence play a crucial role in shaping an individual’s overall well-being and success in adulthood. They contribute to better mental health outcomes and can reduce the risk of developing anxiety, depression, and other emotional disorders.

I tried breathing and meditation techniques with my child and it doesn’t work, what else can I do?

While some kids like and use breating and mindful strategies, others don’t. Try these alternative calming activities for kids:

Doodling /coloring on skin with erasable markers
Ripping paper, cutting cardboard boxes
Doing headstands, jumping jacks, push-ups
Using a swing, turning in circles
Making a blanket tent, weighted blanket, or special place in a closet

En somme

Teaching emotional regulation strategies to kids is vital as it equips them with tools to manage and express their feelings constructively, fostering healthier relationships and improved self-control. It enables children to navigate challenging situations with resilience, reducing the likelihood of impulsive behavior and promoting better decision-making skills. By learning how to regulate emotions, kids can develop greater empathy, communication skills, and a stronger sense of overall well-being as they grow into adulthood.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

À propos de Dre Léon

Cela vous a été utile? Partagez avec un ami!

ADHD IN CHILDREN: 10 TIPS FOR REACHING THEIR FULL POTENTIAL

Publié le 3 mai 20237 novembre 2024 par Dr. Stephanie Leon

Unlock your child’s true potential with expert guidance on navigating ADHD in children. Discover effective strategies for helping your child thrive.

ADHD IN CHILDREN: 10 TIPS FOR REACHING THEIR FULL POTENTIAL

Raising kids and teens can be quite an adventure, filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. But when your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), the journey can come with unique challenges. That’s why I created this guide for parents on navigating ADHD in children and helping them reach their full potential.

ADHD is more than just a phase or a temporary difficulty—it’s a condition that affects millions of children and teens worldwide. But by providing the right tools, strategies, and support, you can make a tremendous difference in your child’s development and help them thrive.

What Is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)?

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (sometimes called attention-deficit disorder or ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by difficulty with inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsive behaviour. It’s estimated that 5-9% of children and 3-5% of adults have ADHD. One of the primary difficulties associated with ADHD is cognitive functioning, which affects a person’s thinking and reasoning.

The cognitive difficulties associated with ADHD can be divided into two main areas: executive functioning and attention/working memory.

Executive functioning

Executive functioning involves the ability to plan and organize, set goals, and regulate emotions. People with ADHD often have difficulty in these areas, making it hard for them to manage their daily activities and get tasks completed.

Attention and working memory

Attention and working memory (the ability to hold information in your mind for a brief period) are also affected in those with ADHD. This can lead to symptoms like:

being easily distracted
difficulty following directives
trouble completing tasks

Other cognitive issues associated with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children

Other cognitive issues that those with ADHD may experience include difficulty recognizing patterns, problem-solving, and understanding abstract concepts. These difficulties can make it difficult for those with ADHD to do well in school and maintain social relationships.

ADHD Symptoms In Children

Signs of inattention:

Does not follow rules or instructions
Loses materials/belongings
Difficulty starting and completing tasks
Avoid tasks that require sustained effort
Gets easily distracted by self or others
Appears to have trouble with memory (forgetful)
Seems not to listen when spoken to
Makes careless mistakes

Talk to your child’s teacher if you notice six or more of these common symptoms. If they have detected them, too, it is recommended to get your child assessed for ADHD. Remember that some children with ADHD, particularly girls, present without impulsive symptoms or hyperactivity.

Signs & Symptoms Of Hyperactivity In Children

Signs of hyperactivity are more noticeable than signs of inattention. Teachers and school counselors are the ones who typically see it firsthand due to the demands of classroom environments. However, kids vary in their level of activity and level of maturity.

Very active, high energy, ‘driven by a motor’
Interrupting others, having trouble with social skills, and talking too much
Can’t wait in line or their turn when playing
Prone to being clumsy and having accidents
Squirm, fidget, pace
Difficulty staying silent or calm
Wanders and gets up constantly

When assessing hyperactivity, I always urge parents and teachers to determine if the activity/impulsivity is indeed above and beyond what a typical child would display at that age.

If you and your child’s teacher notice these signs, it is recommended to get your child assessed for ADHD.

10 Tips For Parents Managing Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder In Children

As a parent, controlling essential environmental factors at home is key. If you can help your children with ADHD live a healthy lifestyle under your roof, then you can set them up to become happy, functioning adults later in life.

Establish a strong home routine.

Consistency is key for children with ADHD. Create a structured daily routine with set times for waking up, meals, homework, chores, and bedtime. Having a predictable schedule can provide a sense of stability and help children stay focused.

Create an organized environment.

Reduce distractions by organizing the child’s living space. Use storage bins, labels, and color-coding systems to keep things tidy and easily accessible. Minimize clutter and create a designated study area with minimal distractions.

Break tasks into smaller steps.

Large tasks can be overwhelming for children with ADHD. Break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. Provide clear instructions and use visual aids or checklists to help them stay on track.

Use visual reminders.

Visual cues can be helpful for children with ADHD to remember tasks and responsibilities. Utilize visual schedules, calendars, or timers to help them stay organized and manage time effectively.

Provide frequent breaks.

Children with ADHD often have difficulty sustaining focus and sit still for extended periods. Allow them to take short breaks during tasks or homework sessions. Encourage physical activity during these breaks to help release excess energy.

Encourage regular exercise.

Physical activity has been shown to benefit individuals with ADHD. Encourage your child to exercise regularly or participate in sports, dancing, or martial arts, as it can help reduce hyperactivity and improve focus.

Implement behaviour management techniques.

Positive reinforcement and reward systems can be effective in shaping desired behaviours. Offer praise, encouragement, and rewards for completing tasks, following instructions, or exhibiting self-control.

Limit screen time.

Although television and video games do not cause ADHD, excessive screen time can take away from other important activities. It is important to establish reasonable limits on screen time and encourage other activities, such as reading, outdoor play, or hobbies that promote engagement and focus.

Foster open communication.

Maintain open lines of communication with your child. Listen to their concerns, frustrations, and triumphs. Work together to problem-solve and find strategies that work best for them.

Seek professional support.

Consider involving professionals, such as therapists, psychologists, or support groups, who specialize in working with children with ADHD. They can provide guidance, coping strategies, and additional resources to support your child’s development.

What About Medication For ADHD?

Research suggests that a combination of psychotherapy and medication is the best approach to ADHD. It appears that starting psychotherapy first can be most beneficial.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that, by definition, presents with cognitive and behavioral symptoms from early childhood. Although symptoms often decrease in severity in adulthood, they tend to remain throughout life.

Nevertheless, with proper diagnosis, treatment, and support, children (and eventually adults) with ADHD can learn to recognize their strengths and gain self-understanding to help them lead productive and meaningful lives.

Can Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Help With ADHD?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), a form of psychotherapy that focuses on how thoughts and beliefs influence behaviour, can help children and adolescents with ADHD. The goal of CBT and behavioral treatments may include strategies to organize their materials, plan their work, and set reminders. Setting up the home environment to support children and teens with ADHD also helps with behavioral interventions.

Parents of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are usually recommended to develop and maintain consistent routines at home. They are also encouraged to model explicit organizational skills and strategies, such as a family planner or calendar.

Can ADHD Cause Emotional Issues?

ADHD can also cause a range of emotional issues, such as difficulty controlling anger and frustration, anxiety disorders, conduct disorders, and low mood. Therefore, it is important for individuals with ADHD to be aware of their emotional responses and to develop strategies to manage them.

Therapy is recommended for children with ADHD who suffer from emotional and mood disorders. During therapy, the psychotherapist or psychologist works with the patient to identify and challenge negative or automatic thoughts that may be contributing to their symptoms.

Through this process, the therapist helps the patient learn to reframe their thoughts in a more positive and helpful manner, identify triggers for their symptoms, as well as techniques for managing their emotions. Self-regulation skills can include deep breathing, mindfulness, physical activity, pleasurable activities, or sensory activities.

Risks Associated With Untreated ADHD In Children

Allowing children with ADHD to go untreated can have several potential risks and negative consequences.

Academic difficulties

ADHD can significantly impact a child’s academic performance. Inattention, impulsivity, and difficulties with organization can make it challenging for them to concentrate, complete assignments, and follow instructions in the classroom. Eventually, symptoms can lead to falling behind in school, lower grades, and decreased academic achievement.

Social and relationship challenges

Children with untreated ADHD may struggle with social interactions and forming positive peer relationships. Their impulsive behaviours, difficulty with turn-taking, and inattentiveness can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and social isolation. Unfortunately, these struggles can negatively affect their self-esteem and overall social development.

Emotional and mental health issues

ADHD is sometimes accompanied by emotional and mental health challenges. Children with untreated ADHD may experience increased frustration, anger, and irritability due to their difficulties with impulse control and managing emotions. They may also be at higher risk for developing anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

Risk-taking behaviour

Sometimes, children and teens with untreated ADHD can engage in impulsive and risky behaviours. Children with ADHD may engage in dangerous activities without considering the consequences, leading to accidents or injuries. Teens in particular may also be more prone to experimenting with substances, as impulsivity and thrill-seeking behaviours increase the likelihood of engaging in risky behaviours.

Long-term impact

If left untreated for too long, childhood ADHD can have long-term effects throughout life. The difficulties experienced in childhood can persist into adolescence and adulthood, impacting academic and career success, relationships, and overall quality of life. Untreated ADHD may also increase the risk of developing comorbid mental health conditions, such as anxiety disorders or substance use disorders.

Get Help: Neuropsychology Intervention

Are you ready to take the next step in supporting your child with ADHD? Dr. Leon is an experienced pediatric neuropsychologist. Explore our online neuropsychological intervention services today and discover the transformative impact they can have on your child’s life.

D'autres lectures

More on parenting children with ADHD: Parenting a Child With ADHD (for Parents)
More on academic achievement and ADHD: ADHD – How To Help Teens Who Aren’t Living Up To Their Potential
Some excellent Q&As by the American Psychiatric Association: Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Foire aux questions

I have ADHD. Will my child have ADHD?

ADHD is highly hereditary (meaning it often occurs in families). Parents with ADHD are 40% more lilely to have a child of ADHD.

Can ADHD symptoms change as a child grows older?

ADHD symptoms can evolve as a child matures. While hyperactivity may decrease with age, inattention and impulsivity can persist into adolescence and adulthood. Be sure to monitor and adapt strategies at home to address changing needs.

Are there any specific parenting techniques or strategies that can help children with ADHD?

Several parenting techniques can benefit children with ADHD. These include establishing clear rules and expectations, using positive reinforcement, providing structure and routine, breaking tasks into manageable steps, and promoting open communication. Consider exploring parent consultation services to learn more.

How can I effectively communicate with my child’s teachers about their ADHD and support their educational needs?

Share information about your child’s ADHD diagnosis, discuss their strengths and challenges, and collaborate on strategies to support their learning in the classroom. Regular check-ins, progress updates, and an individualized education plan (IEP) can facilitate effective communication and support.

Are there any dietary or lifestyle changes that can help ADHD management in children?

While no specific diet has been proven to cure ADHD, some evidence suggests that a balanced diet rich in omega 3s, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins is best for brain health. Additionally, regular exercise, adequate sleep, and low-stress can contribute to overall well-being and can minimize the impact of ADHD symptoms. Consulting with a healthcare professional or a registered dietitian can provide personalized guidance.

En somme

You can support ADHD kids by establishing clear routines and structures to help them stay organized and focused, breaking tasks into manageable steps with regular breaks to avoid overwhelm. Utilizing positive reinforcement and praising their efforts to boost confidence and motivation, while also employing strategies like visual aids, timers, and frequent check-ins to help them stay on track and manage their time effectively is also crucial. Finally, encourage their interests and strengths, fostering a supportive environment that celebrates their accomplishments and provides outlets for their creativity and energy.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

Dr. Leon is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist practicing in the province of Ontario and Quebec. She works with children, teens, and their parents to address emotional, behavioural, and cognitive difficulties. Dr. Leon offers online psychology and neuropsychology services through the Clinique de psychologie Leon.

À propos de Dre Léon

Cela vous a été utile? Partagez avec un ami!

8 WAYS TO PROMOTE GOOD SLEEP HYGIENE FOR KIDS

8 FAÇONS DE PROMOUVOIR UNE BONNE HYGIÈNE DU SOMMEIL POUR LES ENFANTS

Publié le 1 mars 20237 novembre 2024 par Dr. Stephanie Leon

8 FAÇONS DE PROMOUVOIR UNE BONNE HYGIÈNE DU SOMMEIL POUR LES ENFANTS

Nous savons tous à quel point une bonne nuit de sommeil est cruciale pour la croissance et le bien-être des enfants. Dans cet article, nous explorerons des stratégies pratiques pour établir une routine de sommeil solide et créer un environnement propice au sommeil pour vos enfants et adolescents.

Voici ce que vous devez savoir sur la promotion d’une hygiène du sommeil positive pour les enfants. (Bonus : ces conseils fonctionnent aussi bien pour les adultes!)

Qu’est-ce que l’hygiène du sommeil?

L’hygiène du sommeil désigne un ensemble d'habitudes saines qui permet aux enfants et aux adolescents (et aux adultes!) de s’endormir plus rapidement et qui peut améliorer la durée et la qualité du sommeil. Si votre enfant souffre d’un mauvais sommeil, vous avez peut-être remarqué que l’irritabilité, le manque de concentration et la mauvaise humeur peuvent être des effets secondaires. En fait, la recherche démontre que le manque de sommeil peut affecter l’humeur, le rendement scolaire et la santé physique. Les problèmes de sommeil les plus communs comprennent la difficulté à s’endormir, les réveils nocturnes fréquents et un levé trop tôt.

Quels sont les effets secondaires d’une mauvaise hygiène du sommeil chez les enfants?

Si vous souffrez de nuits sans sommeil, vous avez peut-être remarqué certaines conséquences néfastes. La recherche montre que ne pas dormir suffisamment peut causer:

Somnolence diurne
Problèmes de comportement (irritabilité, sautes d’humeur, crises de colère)
Fonctionnement cognitif réduit (mémoire, attention, apprentissage)
Problèmes de santé physique (fonction immunitaire affaiblie, obésité)
Troubles émotionnels (anxiété, troubles de l’humeur, symptômes de dépression)
Troubles de la croissance et du développement
Risque accru d'accidents
Difficulté à se concentrer
Academic performance decline
Plus grande sensibilité aux maladies et aux infections
Capacité réduite à prendre des décisions et à résoudre des problèmes

8 façons d’établir une bonne hygiène du sommeil

Les routines sont essentielles à l’hygiène du sommeil. Voici des recommandations pour aider votre enfant à mieux dormir :

Gardez un temps de coucher constant

Le maintien d’une heure constante au coucher et au réveil est un facteur clé dans la promotion de saines habitudes de sommeil. Nos corps ont une horloge interne naturelle, connue sous le nom de rythme circadien, qui régule notre cycle veille-sommeil.

Lorsque nous établissons une routine de sommeil régulière et nous y tenons, nous aidons à synchroniser cette horloge interne, ce qui rend plus facile pour nous de s’endormir et se réveiller aux heures souhaitées.

Pour optimiser l’efficacité d’une heure constante de coucher et de réveil, viser une fenêtre d’environ 30 minutes. Oui, même la fin de semaine.

Faites beaucoup d’exercice pendant la journée.

Entre les ordinateurs, la télévision et les téléphones portables, de nombreux enfants et adolescents ne font pas suffisamment d’activité physique régulière.

Assurez-vous que votre enfant est physiquement actif (essoufflé) au moins 15 minutes par jour.

Coincé à l’intérieur à cause de la météo? Faire un effort pour éteindre la télévision et les téléphones portables et se déplacer. Faites la course dans les couloirs de votre maison, pratiquez la voiturette et les poiriers, allez marcher dans un centre commercial, tout pour faire bouger vos enfants.

Passez du temps à l’extérieur.

Intégrer du temps en plein air dans la routine quotidienne de votre enfant peut avoir un impact positif sur son hygiène du sommeil. Prévoyez au moins 30 minutes de jeu en plein air chaque jour, de préférence pendant la journée.

Que ce soit une promenade dans le parc, le jardinage, le pelletage de neige ou la participation à des sports ou des activités de plein air, passez du temps à l’extérieur et profitez de la lumière naturelle!

Même par temps nuageux ou neigeux, la lumière du soleil filtre toujours à travers les nuages et fournit des rayons bénéfiques. Lorsque nous passons du temps dehors, nos yeux reçoivent la lumière naturelle, qui stimule la production de sérotonine, un neurotransmetteur qui favorise l’éveil et l’humeur positive.

Cette exposition au soleil pendant la journée aide à renforcer notre rythme circadien naturel, ce qui permet à notre corps de distinguer plus facilement le jour de la nuit.

Garder l’heure du coucher ennuyeuse!

Créer une routine de coucher relaxant est crucial pour préparer votre corps et votre esprit au sommeil. Le concept de « l’heure du coucher devrait être ennuyeuse » met l’accent sur la nécessité d’éviter les activités stimulantes ou excitantes près de l’heure du coucher (à l’exception de faire l'amour), car elles peuvent nuire à la transition naturelle au sommeil.

Envisagez d’intégrer les éléments suivants dans la routine du coucher de votre enfant :

Musique douce et relaxante
Lire des livres adaptés à l’âge
Activités sensorielles relaxantes, telles que des puzzles, des dessins, des coloriages ou des jeux sensoriels comme des balles anti-stress ou des jouets moelleux

Ne jamais sous-estimer l’environnement de sommeil.

Créer un environnement de sommeil sombre, frais et apaisant est crucial pour favoriser un sommeil de qualité. L’élimination des sources de lumière, en particulièrement des électroniques, peut contribuer à créer une atmosphère propice.

Bien qu’une faible lumière nocturne puisse offrir un confort, la minimisation de l’exposition aux appareils électroniques et l’incorporation d’éléments apaisants comme des machines à bruit blanc ou des ventilateurs peuvent améliorer l’environnement de sommeil.

Donner la priorité à un environnement sombre et paisible aide à signaler au corps de l’enfant qu’il est temps de se reposer et d’améliorer la qualité de son sommeil.

Réveils nocturnes

. Si votre enfant/adolescent est incapable de s’endormir au coucher ou pendant la nuit pendant plus de 45 minutes, encouragez-le à s’étirer ou à faire quelque chose d’ennuyeux jusqu’à ce qu’il se sente suffisamment endormi. Pas d’électronique ! Les lumières doivent rester tamisée ou éteintes.

It is recommended that night lights be 2000 kelvins or less (i.e., the light should be of red-yellow hue, warmth is measured in kelvins) and 50 lumens or lower (lumens is a measurement of how much light the bulb gives off).

Apprenez des techniques de relaxation.

Apprenez et pratiquez ensemble des stratégies de relaxation pour aider à réduire la tension avant le sommeil, comme la méditation, les exercices de pleine conscience et la relaxation musculaire progressive. Mon préféré est la technique de visualisation d'un lieu préféré.

Aborder les problèmes de santé mentale

On sait que l’anxiété et la dépression nuisent au sommeil; il faut s’assurer de les aborder en psychothérapie de l'enfant ou de l'adolescent.

Choses à éviter pour une bonne hygiène du sommeil

Aucune caféine dès l’après-midi. Sachez que la caféine est présente dans le café et le thé, mais aussi dans les sodas et le chocolat (et la plupart des boissons Starbucks!).
Envoyer votre enfant au lit avec le ventre plein ou la vessie pleine. La digestion et l’utilisation des toilettes peuvent perturber le sommeil de votre enfant. Soyez conscient que le besoin de grignoter tard dans la nuit peut être un indice que le corps est fatigué plutôt que de la faim.
Exercice intensif ou bain chaud juste avant le coucher. La recherche démontre que la température du corps doit être fraîche pour se sentir à l’aise de s’endormir. Cependant, un exercice léger et une douche ou un bain chaud juste avant le coucher peut aider certaines personnes à se détendre. Expérimentez avec ce qui fonctionne le mieux pour vous.
Appareils électroniques au moins 30 minutes avant le coucher. Cela comprend l’ordinateur, la tablette, le téléphone et la télévision. Si vous écoutez de la musique, assurez vous de ne pas regarder l’écran.
Vérifier le temps, car cela peut créer plus d’anxiété. Assurez vous que réveil est tourné pour ne pas constamment vérifier l'heure.
Les applications de sommeil doivent être utilisés avec prudence. Pour certaines personnes, les trackers de sommeil peuvent créer plus d’anxiété car ils deviennent trop concentrés sur le fait de ne pas avoir passé suffisamment de temps dans un sommeil profond. Se sentir reposé en se levant pourrait être une meilleure mesure.

Si des problèmes de sommeil persistent

Il est à noter que si votre enfant continue d’avoir de la difficulté à dormir malgré la mise en œuvre des suggestions ci-dessus, vous devriez consulter votre médecin de famille pour éliminer les problèmes médicaux, comme l’apnée obstructive du sommeil. Votre médecin de famille peut également vous recommander des suppléments pour vous aider à dormir (comme la mélatonine ou le magnésium) si nécessaire.

Consultations des parents pour une solution au coucher: Consultations pour parents

Si vous avez des problèmes de sommeil spécifiques ou si vous avez besoin de conseils personnalisés pour établir des routines de sommeil efficaces pour votre enfant, le Dr. Leon peut vous aider. Chaque séance comprend des conseils d’experts et des stratégies adaptées pour répondre aux besoins uniques de votre enfant.

Donnez la priorité à la santé du sommeil de votre enfant et planifier une consultation des parents aujourd’hui pour de meilleures routines de coucher et un sommeil amélioré pour toute la famille.

D'autres lectures

Autres excellents conseils pour développer une bonne hygiène du sommeil : 20 conseils d’hygiène du sommeil et feuilles de travail pour les enfants et les adolescents
Quelques stratégies expertes pour résoudre les problèmes : Stratégie de sommeil pour enfants

Foire aux questions

Combien de sommeil les enfants ont-ils besoin à différents âges?

Les durées de sommeil recommandées varient selon l’âge. En moyenne, les enfants d’âge préscolaire (3 à 5 ans) ont besoin de 10 à 13 heures, les enfants d’âge scolaire (6 à 12 ans) de 9 à 12 heures et les adolescents (13 à 18 ans) de 8 à 10 heures de sommeil par nuit.

Y a-t-il des routines spécifiques au coucher qui peuvent aider à promouvoir un meilleur sommeil?

Oui, l’établissement d’une routine régulière au coucher peut être très bénéfique. Une routine de coucher peut inclure des activités comme un bain chaud, lire un livre, écouter de la musique apaisante ou s’engager dans des exercices de relaxation. La clé est de choisir des activités qui favorisent la détente et signalent à l’enfant qu’il est temps de se détendre et de se préparer au sommeil.

Comment créer un environnement propice au sommeil dans ma chambre ?

Pour créer un environnement propice au sommeil, assurez vous que la chambre est sombre, calme et à une température confortable. Enlever ou minimiser les sources de lumière, utiliser des rideaux ou des stores occultants et envisager d’utiliser des machines à bruit blanc pour bloquer les sons perturbateurs. Gardez la chambre à coucher à l’abri des appareils électroniques et assurez vous d’avoir un matelas et une literie confortables. Gardez la température au frais.

Quelles stratégies puis-je utiliser pour lutter contre la résistance au coucher et m’assurer que mon enfant s’endorme facilement?

Pour remédier à la résistance au coucher, établissez un horaire de sommeil cohérent, définissez des attentes et des limites claires et ajustez progressivement la routine si nécessaire. Créez une routine apaisante à l’heure du coucher, rassurez-vous et limitez les activités stimulantes près de l’heure du coucher. Si la résistance persiste, consultez un pédiatre ou un spécialiste du sommeil pour obtenir des conseils et un soutien supplémentaires.

En somme

You can promote good sleep hygiene for kids by establishing a consistent bedtime routine that includes calming activities like reading or gentle music, helping signal their bodies it’s time to wind down. Create a sleep-conducive environment by keeping their bedroom dark, cool, and comfortable, limiting screen time before bed, and ensuring they get enough physical activity during the day to support restful sleep. Encourage regular sleep schedules, aiming for age-appropriate amounts of sleep each night to promote better overall health, mood, and cognitive function.

Dre Stéphanie L. Léon

À propos de Dre Léon

Trouvé cela utile? Partagez avec un ami!